


Merthan one shots

by fightuntilyoucan



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, some smutt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 54,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22131226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fightuntilyoucan/pseuds/fightuntilyoucan
Summary: Some of Merthan one shots I wrote when they were a thing, some of them contains family stories, some of them have angst too.Enjoy.
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Nathan Riggs
Kudos: 20





	1. It’s never gonna happen

Corridors in the hospital were dark and empty. Some of the patient watched TV and others just lay in their beds hoping this night will be calm and peaceful. Nathan has night shift third day on the row. He was a bit tired but late at night, the hospital wasn’t so crowd and he can be focused on his patient. When he had time and Amelia was on call, in addition, they meet at the cafeteria, she was nice and he can talk with her about everything. He knew about her and Hunt and she often talk about him. She was a friend he needed and he was same for her.

“Hey, you” he heard her voice.

“Hey. Again on call?”

“Yes. Owen have birthday tomorrow and I want to have a day off. I must prepare everything. Sorry I don’t invite you but…”

“It’s okay. So, are you hungry? I must tell you about something but not here.”

“Sounds suspiciously.” she said with a smile.

“Because it is.”

When they went to the cafeteria they saw Webber, he said something to the handyman. Nathan and Amelia went straight to him.

“Good evening.” both said in the same time.

“Oh, you are still here? We have a problem with this door. They have jam sometimes. I almost stayed here for whole night.”

“Maybe we leave the professional here and get something to eat.” Nathan said.

“Yeah. You have right.”

After they ask Webber to came join them, his pager vibrated. Nathan was a bit relieved, he wants to talk with Shepherd without witnesses. He felt a bit stupid asking her about this but he hasn’t got anyone and she knew her like no one else.

“What about Meredith? Between you two?”

“Good I think. She lives with Maggie and my crazy niece and nieces.”

“That’s good. She deserve for happiness right?”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Nate you like Meredith,” she almost screamed.

“Be quiet! No I don’t I want to be likable. That’s all”

“No. You eyes look like neon when you talk about her. I know that Stephanie always said that to me when I talk about Owen.”

“No. I just…Forget it…”

“Nate, wait a minute.”

He leaves the cafeteria leaving Amelia way behind. He shouldn’t said that to her, he could knew that Amelia see him through. The man walked the corridor, he looked at people, at his patient who probably saved. In one moment he heard someone voice, called his name.

“Doctor Riggs!”

“Yes,”

“Are you aware that my patient could die because of you!”

“Doctor Grey…I…What patient?”

He really tried to focus on her or his patient but only thing he has in mind was how pretty she is when she’s angry. He knew that her patient will be fine. For a moment he couldn’t said a word. She looked at him like he was an idiot who ask her on a date. After a moment of silence she almost runs thru the hospital corridor.

“Doctor Grey waits,” he shouts.

He saw her, entered the supply room, he run there with a thought in his head. “He must explain her…everything.”

“Why are you following me? Don’t touch to my patient am I clear?”

“Yes. But I don’t want to you be mad at me, I want to our relations was good. Really.”

“I am a friend of Owen and I really don’t have to like you.”

She took a step and went to the storeroom, in one minute he went there with her and drab her arm.

“Please…”

“Let go of me. You don’t have right…”

“Shh. Wait are we in supply room?” he asks.

“Don’t change the subject and don’t shush me.”

“Could you please be quiet for a moment? When I was here last time Webber said this door are broken and they jam. If we are here and the doors are locked…You have your phone?”

“Fuck! I left it in on call room because you pissed me.”

“Yeah, it’s all my fault” he said with a gaze.

“I don’t say it is but next time just asks if you do something with my patients okay?”

“Okay. Now could you step back? I try to brake down the door…”

“Nate wait!!” she shouts but he already tried to do this.

He felt the massive pain in his strong arm, when he tried to put himself together he looked at Meredith, her face was all read and she couldn’t stopped laughing.

“This wasn’t very funny.” he said with a pain in his eyes.

“I know. But this door opened to indoors and you run through them like…”she laughs

“Very funny, really. It hurts as hell but I am happy I made you laugh,”

“Thank you for the commitment”

“You welcome.”

They sat at the floor and looked at the place they were. The box without the windows with lots of shelves with drugs. Haven. If you are with the person you loved and want to make out all the time. He looks at her slyly.

“If it hurts I can make you a shot, we have everything we need here,”

“No, thanks. Did you ever lock up here?”

“No. I went here, when I have a panic attack. My husband helps me…”

“Sorry I shouldn’t ask.”

“How could you now? It’s okay now.”

“I heard you have children,”

“Yes. We adopt Zola and later we have Bailey and Ellis.”

“I like children, they make me happy. They are so direct and live.”

The silence was overwhelming the both of the doctors were surprised how good they understand each other. They stop talking only when they must take a breath. They couldn’t stop looking at each other as well. In one moment the world was found in a tiny supply room. Their eyes meet and their were close to kiss but both of them felt this cold wind in the side of the door. They looked that way and saw handyman who set them free from this prison. Some part of them was happy but some of them were so disappointed that this conversation end. The looked at each other and leave the room, behind the handyman stand they co workers, Nate knew that Amelia and Weber saw their “almost kiss”. He knew that she will ask him all day about what happened there. Only thing he could say to her was that nothing happened…yet.

“So, doctor Grey. It was a pleasure to look in a supply room with you.”

“Call me Meredith. It was pleasure Nathan.” he looked at him with a smirk.

“Spill it Riggs! Now. What happened there?”

“Shep, I must tell you… that nothing happened there.” he said leaving her with a surprise in her eyes.


	2. Caught!

There was a reason some doctor prefer this part of the hospital. The west wing was always empty, which means, that some of the doctors use this silent place not only for resting I silence.

They lay on the bed, their bodies were mixed and not all the parts were covered with blankets. The scent of sweat, passion and sex was filled the room, after few minutes they need to go back to the realty, one of them break the silence.

“This was the very last time.”

“Like the one in the bathroom and on call room? “

“Yes…I mean no! This was last time every!”

“So you didn’t like it?” he ask,

“Yes! I mean no,” she try to focus on what she was saying when she saw a grin on his face, “Stop smiling like that! It’s serious,”

“Okay. So you can be serious here and in the meantime I will focus on something else,”

He kiss her neck while his hand was reaching one of her breasts, he was going down too her belly and later her abdomen, after the moment he was between her legs, she knew that she is screwed.

Amelia was standing in front of the nurse station while she was waiting for Owen. They were married couple since a month and the moment when they were apart last for them like ages. She wants to go with him to their favorite place, west wing on call room, where no one will disturb them. 

When he went to the place she was waiting for him, she took his hand and he didn’t even have a chance to kiss her, she almost run thru the hospital corridors, when they were near the destination, she put his hand onto her waist, she took a step to him and gave him a slow kiss, the first kiss since they leave the nurse station.

“It’s our favorite spot, I can’t wait until we get there,” she whispered to his ear.

Amelia stopped for a moment to opened the door, she noticed that the door opened heavily but it doesn’t bordered her, she pull the door and saw some clothes on the floor, Owen go after her and he was just about to pull his t-shirt when he saw the same clothes as Amelia. They new that they aren’t alone in their favorite on call room.

“OH MY GOD!!” Amelia shout,

“OH MY GOD!!” Owen repeated,

Two bodies, which were lying on the bed, jumped at the sound of their voices. They try to cover themselves on one red blanked; the blanked have a color of their faces when they saw Amelia and Owen standing in front of them.

“What are you-“

“We were here first,”

“Meredith, what are you doing here with-“ she took a step closer to saw the man, “Nathan!” she shouts,

“It’s not what it looks like,” Meredith cried,

“Not? “Amelia said with a smile, “What were these words? “I have only one love”, “I will never find another guy”, “I will never have sex”

“Amelia stop,” Nathan looked at his friend,

“Oh and you! You didn’t tell me anything, I thought we are friends,”

The only person who didn’t say anything was Owen, he didn’t know if it’s sad or funny. They are a family now and the only thought he have in mind was that he saw Meredith and Nathan naked in on call room.

“Amelia,” he grab her hand, “Give them some space, they need to get dressed, you don’t want to talk when you are naked.”

She looked at her husband, he pulled her true the door and leaves the room.

“It’s your entire fault,” Meredith shouts, looking for her panties.

“My?”

“Yes. I told you that we don’t have sex, but you just can’t understand it,”

“I didn’t hear “no”, one word and I am out. I didn’t force you to do it,” he said looking at her,

“No, you didn’t. I am sorry. It’s because now Amelia will tell everyone. It’s not like I am ashamed that we have sex, but I don’t know if I want to tell anyone,”

Nathan took a step to her, she was shivering and for the first time they have a normal conversation without kissing or having sex, he hold her, covering her half naked body into blanket, he pull her gently and her head was on his chest. This was the moment where they don’t be only “friends with benefits”, they become friends, which both of them needed.

They walk this same way they arrived, Amelia was so pissed that her “walk” changes into run. She was talking all way to the cafeteria, when she finally sat, she notice that her husband isn’t that much touch as her.

“Are you okay?” she ask,

“Yes. I just-“ he stopped, “As much as I hate Riggs, I can’t blame Meredith for her happiness, even if it’s just sex for her. I lost some people in my life, it was the most debilitating feeling in my life. You know that right? We are all damage and we all fight with this feeling at our own way.”

Amelia looked at her husband and for a moment she though that she can’t love him more, she was like hurricane but she never want to see her husband like that.

“I want say anything, she decide if she want tell everyone or not,” she said,

“You are the best wife the man can imagine,” he kissed her,

“Owen,” she tell his name, looking on the floor,

“Yes,”

“You still feel this feeling? The one are you talking about?” he looked at his wife with love, “No, not anymore,”

“I am happy that you don’t feel it. It’s terrible feeling,”

“You don’t ask me, what help me?”

“What helped you?” she ask, as he told her to,

She looked at him, his face was illuminated by the sun, he closed his eyes and turn to the sun and his wife. He pulled her closer to his warm body and put his hands onto her waist, they hugged for a moment, when the silent was break by one word.

“You,” he answered.

She turn around that her face was in front of his, her eyes was wide opened and her throat was squeezed. He pull herself to reach his lips, she put a kiss on them and sat on the chair once more, she put her head on his chest and whispered.

“You saved me to,”


	3. I'm here for you

He was just about to leave when he saw Amelia and Maggie arguing about something near the nurse station. Nathan knew how it could end, every time he was near one of the sisters it ended up poorly for him. He decided to keep walking, hoping that this time it wouldn’t end up badly for him.

“I can’t right now, I have an operation and later…”

“My shift doesn’t end for 8 hours, I can’t just leave. Maybe Owen?” Maggie thought loudly,

“He is with his mom,” Amelia explained,

“Hey girls, what’s up?” Nathan asked,

“We have a problem,”

“A huge one,” Amelia said,

“Maybe I can help? I am very good at solving problems,” he said with a grin,

“Yes!! You are perfect for this,”

“I don’t think so, she will be pissed,” Maggie said,

“Stop right there. If he is not doing this, no one is. I am busy and so are you. It’s the only way,” Amelia explained,

“Could you say what it’s about?” Nathan asked,

“Oh, right,” Amy looked at him, “Meredith is sick, none of us can go to her and help with kids. You know, watching three kids with cold and a sore throat can be a problem,”

“And you think she will be happy to see me? In her house?” he laughed loudly,

“You could just say no, you don’t have to laugh,” Maggie said with irony,

“So sorry. Of course I will help her, you just need to give me an address,”

Both of the women were looking at him when he left the hospital. They were very happy that he had agreed so fast but none of them could predict one thing- how Meredith would react at the new “helper”.

Nathan didn’t have any problem finding their house. The place was cozy, he looked at big porch and huge garden in front of the house. He knew that Mer had three kids but they had never talked about them. In fact they hadn’t talk much when they’d met. He looked at the place once again, he saw a light on in second floor. He was wondering if he had ever wanted something like this. Kids, big garden and the porch with toys all over the place. He liked kids but the way he lived wasn’t a good one to raise children. He shook his head to stop thinking about things that probably never would happen. After a few seconds his hand was knocking the door.

“Hey! You are Zola?” he asked the little girl who opened the door,

“Yes and you?” she asked,

“I am Nathan, I am your mom’s friend,” he smiled, “Is she at home?”

“Zo! Who is this?” he heard Meredith’s voice,

She was wearing the big, beige pullover, her nose was red and her eyes were bigger, probably because of the cold. She took a step toward her daughter and after seconds she was looking at him, standing in front of her house with pizza in one hand and chicken soup in the other.

“What…are you doing here?” her voice was lower, “Where are Amelia and Maggie?” she looked around to see if one of her sisters were near,

“Amelia had an operation and Maggie is on call, they asked me if I could help you with kids so…here I am,” he smiled and passed her by the door,

“I met Zola but you haven’t told me about the other children,”

“I’m fine, you can leave, really I can handle it myself,”

“Of course you can, but if I leave you here alone, Maggie and Amelia will kill me, I like my life so maybe you should go to bed and let me handle this for you,” he grinned.

“My kids don’t know you,”

“I introduced myself to Zola, I can do the same for Bailey and Ellis,”

“How do you know my children’s-”

“Could you just go to bed? We will make you some soup and take care of you,” he touched her arms and turned to the side where her room was,

“Don’t burn my house!” she shouted, leaving the room,

At first he was so nervous, he liked kids but except for the holidays, he wasn’t used to playing with them or making dinner. Nathan sat Zola and Bailey in front of him and with one hand he hold Ellis on his hip. He cut the pizza into slices. The kids were so excited that half of the pizza fell from the table to the floor. Nathan was cleaning Ellis’s face when he smelled the funny scent.

“The soup is burning,” Zola said calmly,

“Damn it!” he cursed loudly,

“Mommy said that is a bad word,” Bailey said, chewing his slice, “you need to pay five dollars, Mommy and aunt Amelia always do that,”

“Eh, so sorry. You have some kind of jar I can leave the money in?”

“You can give it to me and later I will throw it in,”

After seconds five dollars were in his little hands. When the kids finished the meal, he put Ellis to sleep. When he came back, he entered the room just to check if Meredith needed something. He saw her laying on the bed, her hair was messy. She was laying on the left side of the bed, like the right side was already taken.

He took a step toward the bed, so he could cover her with a blanket. For one second his thoughts were running about the time when they had sex in the parking lot. He hadn’t planned it and he hadn’t planned this thing of watching her children either. Nathan covered her body and gently left the room. The only thought that had stayed in his mind was that he could get used to this, all of this.

Meredith gently opened her eyes, it was almost 7pm, her kids should have played with her or eaten something before sleep. She looked at the blanket covering her body. She was covered, which was weird because she liked to throw the blanket off during sleep. That thought alarmed her and after seconds she jumped from the bed and ran downstairs. Her children were with Nathan Riggs which was weird and well… It was weird.

She stood in the middle of living room, seeing Zola and Bailey playing with Nathan. They were probably playing some kind of sleeping beauty because Zola was lying on the sofa and Bailey beated Nathan with a paper sword. After a moment Nathan was laying on the ground with one eye open.

“Mommy! I beat a dragon!” Bailey shouted with excitement,

“I saw that,” she hugged him,” but now you and sleeping beauty must go sleep,”

“Mommy only five minutes,”

“You need to listen to your mom. We can play dragons next time,” Nathan said, looking at Mer.

“Zola take your brother upstairs and wait for me, I will read you a bedtime story,”

“Mommy,” Zola started, “Maybe you go lay down and Nathan reads for us today,”

Meredith looked at both her children. They never trusted anyone so fast. She didn’t know if it was because of the pizza he had brought them or just because of the playing with them. The entire time she felt like crap on her bed, but her children liked him, and the worst part was that she liked him too.

“If Nathan doesn’t have any other plans,” she whispered,

“Nathan please, please,” the children almost begged him,

“Okay, but I will choose the story,”

“Yes!! We have lots of books with fairy tales,”

“It won’t be a book. I know one or two stories,” he smiled to Mer and lifted Bailey from the ground, the other hand holding Zola, “Once upon a time in a big castle…” he started at the stairs.

The house was quiet, Meredith was sitting on the couch when Nate came down the stairs. It was the fastest bed story she ever seen. She was looking at him differently since he’d showed up at her house. He was handsome, funny and good at bed, his sex skills deserved a medal. For a second, she was so confused but he didn’t notice it when he sat on the couch next to her. His eyes were so blue and even the strong accent was sweet because it was his.

“Bailey is sleeping with his sword, he won’t let me place it on a shelf,” he started,

“He likes you, especially when he can beat you,” she smiled,

“You should smile more ,” he looked at her, touching her cheek,

“I want-” she said with closed eyes,

“You want…” he repeated, touching her lips with his,

He crushed her lips with his while his hands were exploring her body under the big sweater. He pulled it over her head and started to kiss her neck. His lips traveled lower and lower on her body until they reached her belly. Nathan was just about to unzip her jeans when he heard a low noise from the hallway and looked that way with one eye.

“Oh sorry, I thought you are alone,” Amelia said with a grin, “It’s nice you found a common language but if Maggie sees you like that, she will freak out. So maybe you get up your things and go upstairs.”

“We didn’t do nothing, I mean we just-” Meredith mumbled,

“It’s okay, just go to the bedroom,” Amelia said,

For the first time Meredith was grateful for these words, she wasn’t sure how it ended with Nathan but she treated Amelia’s words like permission to be happy, to try and build something new with Nathan Riggs. She took her clothes from the floor and reached his hand. Meredith didn’t know who was more surprised, she or him going after her upstairs.

Nate sat on the big bed in her room, trying not to think about her body wearing only t-shirt and jeans. Meredith closed the door, her face blushed but she didn’t know if it was excitement or the fever she had. She sat next to the man, who only minutes ago was the only thing she could think about.

“I didn’t want to be a problem for you and Maggie, I never thought that she liked me, liked me, for me, it was just friendship,” he whispered, looking down at his shoes,

“I don’t want to talk about Maggie, I love her, she is my sister but you and me, we don’t have much time to talk. When we are at the same room, well… I don’t even know where you live or what your favorite food is. You met my children, who already like you, they know much more about you than I do.”

“I live two blocks from hospital and as you could see, I love pizza. I liked them too. It’s very good that you teach them not to swear but how do you do that? I mean, you and Amelia are always fighting, you must swear a lot,” he thought out loud,

“Bailey said that if you swear, you need to pay five dollars to the jar?” she asked,

“Yes,” he reply unsure,

“He cheated you,” she said, laughing,

She looked at his surprised face, his eyes were sparkling when Meredith touched his jaw. She got closer to him so their noses where touching, after a moment her body shivered.

“I’m so sexy that you shiver or do you still have a cold,” he kissed her forehead,

“Maybe both,” she whispered,

Nathan pulled her closer to his strong body, he lifted her up and put her gently on the bed. He was wondering if laying on the right side of the bed wouldn’t inflict any pain on her.

She looked at him with those big eyes, which make him feel more whenever she looked at him.

“You can lay here, I want you to lay with me,”

“That’s good because I want to lay with you here as well,”

He took a place next to her body, held her cold hand in his and cuddled her from behind. They were lying there, talking till one of them fell asleep. For the first time, they got to know each other in the way they never had before. They were there for each other, for one moment Nathan was sure that he wanted all that, kids, making dinner and cuddling with the one person in the world that made him happy just lying in his arms.


	4. Beauty, Beast and the Nanny

Meredith was just about to leave when the nurse asked her to checked out the patient she was looking for. The room was bright, some of the flowers were standing on the desk, the patient was lying on the bed, he seemed fine but Meredith still want to checked him before leaving.

When she was already done, she saw a man entered the room, he was tall, with a rose in one hand. When Meredith look at the beautiful rose and later at the man, her face became lighter, she knew the man.

“What are you doing here?”

“I told you that I won’t give up on you so fast,”

“Will it’s not the best time,” she whispered,

“Why?” he took a step toward her,

“I need to go, my children are with my sister, she have to be at the hospital for an hour,”

“Go on a date with me, just once. I know you are not ready but I won’t push you,”

“I don’t have anyone who look after my kids,” she said, “It’s not easy if you want to date a mom of three,”

“I know, but still. I really want to take you on a date,”

“I will think about it, I have your number,”

He took a step toward her, his hands were laying on her hips, his lips were just about to kiss her when they heard noise behind them.

“I am sorry if I interrupt but I need doctor Grey for a moment,”

“Ehm, okay I really need to go,” she kissed his cheek,

When she left the room, leaving Will Thorp alone with the patient, she was wondering what could happened if she didn’t kick out him from her house. She was going behind the nurse, who need her help, when Meredith notice that she is in front of the nurse station, she has a feeling that she wasn’t that much needed.

“Why we are here? You said that you need me,”

“Yes. Doctor Riggs ask me to do it, he is waiting in xray examin room,” she said with a smile.

“What the hell are you doing?” she almost yelled,

“Nice to see you too, I am so happy you are here and so long,” he said with a grin,

“I was busy and you drag me from my patient to do what?”

“Well doctor Grey, you weren’t dragged, your patient was the one who want to kiss you or the one lying in coma?”

“It’s not your business mister, I am adult woman who can see another adults”

“I know, I am adult too. Maybe you could drag me somewhere too?”

“Riggs, I mean it-”

“So, I am not Nathan anymore? You broke my heart,” he took a step, so his face where in front of hers,

“Just-” she couldn’t breathe for a second,

“Yes, doctor Grey?” he touched her lips with his,

“NO!” she yelled,

She looked at him, into his deep blue eyes and for a moment she was about to do this one thing that could hurt her sister, every time they were alone she want to ripped the shirt of this man and drag him wherever he want to. Meredith shook her head and do the only thing she could. Lie.

“I am going on a date with that guy, so if you excuse me, I need to prepare myself,”

“Meredith Grey, you are -” he couldn’t finish the sentence because she was already gone.

Meredith leave the room as fast as she can, her heart was bouncing, hands were wet from sweat, she doesn’t know if it was because of the run or the way that guy works on her. One thing was clear, she need to go on a date with Will, just to show Nathan, that the thing between them are over. She found her phone in the pocket and reach the number, after few seconds, she heard the male voice.

“Hey Will, it’s Meredith. I was wondering if we can go to the movie tonight? 9pm maybe?”

She end up the call and in a one moment she realized that she doesn’t have a nanny for her kids, but for the first time she had a feeling, that her life goes in the right way. She was hoping that will be not smashed by the train called “Nathan Riggs” or maybe, just maybe that was the thing she was hoping for?

She end up her thinking when she saw Amelia, the best nanny of all the time.

“You are the person I want to see,” Meredith entering the room,

“What do you want?” Amelia ask suspiciously,

“I am going on a date tonight, Maggie have a night shift and I thought about you and Owen?”

“I love too but Owen have a shift too and I need to visit his mother. Maybe Alex?”

“Alex what?”

The door opened loudly, Alex after his adventure with Deluca wasn’t so nice to people and in some point no one from his co workers could blame him for that.

“I need a nanny for kids tonight, are you interesting?”

“I will take me stuff from the loft so no. You have a date or something?”

“Yes, but in that case I need to stay home,” Meredith almost smiled,

“I can stay with kids,”

All the doctors riched in the direction of the voice, Nathan was entering the room when from his throat got out the strange words, he couldn’t pretend that it doesn’t happened. 

“You want to stay with my children?”

“Yes. I did it before and I liked them so if you have plans,”

“With who you have that date?” Alex asked, looking into chart,

“Will Thorp,”

“It wasn’t the one who was kicked out from the house?” Amelia thinking loud,

“If he hurt you again, I will punch him,” Alex looked at Mer,

“He hurt you? What did he do?” Nathan looked straight into her eyes, his fist were clenched and suddenly his face was all red.

“He didn’t. I wasn’t ready for well I wasn’t ready,” she looked at Amelia,

“She have sex with him, maybe he wasn’t that good,” Amelia smiled,

“Maybe it wasn’t the best work of his,” Nathan said with a grin,

“Can we stop talking about my sex life?” Meredith ask loudly, “Could you be at my house about 8:30pm?”

“I will be, I need to see the guy who got the second chance from you,”

She wore the tight black jeans, pink chiffon blouse and matching high heels, Meredith was ready for about half an hour, she give the children dinner and the last thing she must do was waiting for one of the man arrived. She sits there, watching her children playing on the carpet, she didn’t tell them with who they spend that evening, Mer was hoping they will be have more fun then she. After couple of minutes she heard the doorbell. She walk to them and took a deep breathe.

“Wow, doctor Grey you look amazing!” Nathan said,

“Thank you,”

“You always look so hot? I mean on a date?” he smiled, “I didn’t have a chance to go on a date with you, so I need to ask,” he whispered into her ear, “Hey kids!” he entered the house.

“Uncle Nathan!” Zola and Bailey shouted at once,

“What will we do when mom leaves! Can we play!” they both shouted,

“Yes. We’ll wait until mom leaves so she won’t be so sad that can’t play with us,” he explain,

They both heard the doorbell, she looked at her children, how happy they are and later at Nathan who looks as happy as them.

“Hi Will, can you come in? I will say goodbye and we can go,”

“Hi kids! I am Will,”

Both of the children were hidden behind their mom, she was trying to cheer them both up but nothing could force them to say something to the strange man.

“Maybe we play at the beauty and the beast,” Nathan suggested,

“Yess! Mommy will be the Beauty and uncle Will will be the beast!” Bailey shouted,

“And you will be the Prince Charming! Or, or knight!” Zola said,

“Why you want uncle Will to be a beast,” Meredith asked her son,

“It’s easy, someone must be a beast, uncle Nathan can’t be because he must save you, as a knight.”

“You will be the beauty so he can save the princess,” Zola added,

“You watch too much TV,” Mer answered kissing them both, “don’t stay late,”

“Don’t worry, I will take care of them, my beauty,” Nathan answered with a grin, closing the door.

After all the fun they had, both of the children were so exhausted that Nathan must carry them to their beds. He really like Mer’s children, and looking after them wasn’t a problem because he was the one who has more fun. He was gathered the toys when heard the keys into the door. Nathan took a few steps toward the window, he doesn’t want to watch them, saying goodbye but this was stronger than he.

“You spy on me?” Meredith asked,

He jumped, when he heard her voice but in some reason he was happy that they didn’t kiss on the porche.

“I was gathered the toys,” he answered,

“Oh, that’s fine. Kids are sleeping?”

“Yes. I carried them to beds,”

“They were very exhausted I see,”  
“Did you have fun?” he asked, sitting on the sofa,

“I did, yeah,”

“So I don’t have to save you from the beast?” he smiled,

“I really-” she paused, “I like him but all I can think about was you,”

“But in a good way? Not like “Oh my God, he will burn my house and kidnapped my children” way?”

“I really like you, you make me laugh and Will..God, he is so boring. We talk about work and how much free time I have because he thinks my children won’t like him, which probably is a truth,”

“He has a weird face,”

“What?”

“Bailey said that he has a weird face, that’s why he said that Will is a beast,”

“Oh my…. So you are not my prince charming after all, it’s just because his weird face,”

“I can be if you let me,” he whispered.

Nathan get closer to her on the sofa, he put his hand onto her hand, he looked deep into her eyes, for a moment the world stopped. He put his lips on hers, one of his hands was on her breast, another one was reaching to the tight black jeans she wore. Meredith wasn’t sure what getting her close to this man, the amazing blue eyes, sense of humor or just the fact he is so fucking hot. She took off her chiffon blouse, after a minutes she sat astride on his labs, wearing only bra and panties.

“Nathan,” she whispered,

“Yes,” his voice was harsher,

“I will drag you now,”

“You can drag me wherever you want,” he whispered to her ear, kissing her lower and lower until he reached her lips.


	5. It's good that was you

The attending room was dark, no lights were on when she sat on the sofa. It was almost 1am when Meredith ended her shift. She knew that not every patient could be saved, but after Derek’s death, she felt every loss like she was losing him over and over again. Meredith sat there only for a couple of minutes when tears began to flow. She couldn’t stop crying when the door opened.

“Good evening doctor Grey, how was your shift?” she heard his voice.

Meredith tried to wipe the tears off with her sleeve, but it was too late, he saw her like that - helpless, fragile and crying like a baby. She wanted to get up and leave the room as soon as possible, when he sat next to her. He didn’t say a word, he was just looking at her, and put his hand on hers.

“It seems that your day wasn’t so good,” he said.

After those few words, the tears started flowing with a redoubled force. Nathan sat closer to her, so she could put her head on his arm, his one hand was caressing her hair, and the other one was squeezing her hand.

“He died, I couldn’t…” she murmured.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Everything will be okay,” he whispered into her ear.

She looked up into his icy blue eyes. His touch, his voice, everything he did helped her and, in some way, she was happy that he was the one who had found her in this dark room, with her dark and twisty thoughts. She sat up straight, wiping the last tear from her cheek and their hands, entwined all that time, break off in a moment.

“You feel better now? “, he asked, concerned.

“Yes. Thank you and sorry for that. I try to be…well, I try not to be like that.”

“It’s okay. I am happy I could help. I must admit that I like you,” he looked at the floor, “I mean I like to be the one who helps you,”

“I like you too, I like that you were the one who entered this room,”

They sat there for a few seconds, while their lips were getting closer and closer. Nathan reached for her cheek, caressing it gently. When their lips were almost touching, the door opened with a creak. They both jumped when they heard the voice of one of the nurses.

“Doctor Riggs, we have a cardio patient,” she shouted, leaving the room in a rush.

“Well, ‘till next time, doctor Grey. Hope the circumstances will be better,” he said with a grin,

“Thank you,” she paused for a moment, “Nathan.”


	6. You're my flashlight part 1

“When tomorrow comes

I’ll be on my own

Feeling frightened up

The things that I don’t know”  
Owen was going to the on call room just to rest and lay down for a moment, the night shifts were hard for him. He was used to sleeping with Amelia, he missed her warm body next to him, her hair tickling his nose and her laugh when he wakes her up, kissing her back. When he had a moment for himself in the hospital rush, he always remembered the moment when Amelia asked him to marry her, her smile, the spark in her eyes and the endless love he saw in them.

There was a time, when he thinks about it, he loved everything that happened that day but couldn’t help one thing he didn’t do then. Ring. Owen always thought about himself as a an old fashioned guy, he thought that he will be the one who asks a woman to marry him, gives her a ring and let her love him, but he met Amelia Shepherd and a bit of that plan was ruined by the love of his life.

When he gets to the on call room, his thoughts are running through his head. He lays on the bed and covers his eyes by his arm. After a few seconds, he opened them fast and got up as fast as he could. The plan might have been ruined by Amelia but he will raise it from the ashes, with a little help of course.

“You need to bring her there at 7pm,” Owen said.

“Owen she won’t let me, she will figure it out as soon as I ask her on a “girls night” Meredith answered.

“Yeah, you are right, but that plan was so good at my head that I thought it could work.”

“Could you tell me at least why I should bring her there?”

“I want to ask her to marry me.”

“Well, but you know you are already married, right?”

“Yes, but I want to do this my way.” he looked at her.

“I can do this!”

Both of the doctors looked at the man who said those words. This was the last person Owen was thinking about, but his wife wanted him to be happier and nothing will make him more happy than proposing to his wife.

“You would really do this for me?” Owen ask with surprise in his voice.

“Yes. I am her friend and she will not be expecting nothing other than friends going out,” Nathan explained.

“Okay, then bring her at 7 pm on this address,” Owen gives him a piece of paper and leaves both the doctors alone.

Nathan took a step toward Meredith like the time they were on her porch, he stood behind her and took a deep breath, he never felt that way before, he wanted to be with her all the time, he wanted to hold her just like the time they were getting to know their bodies in the backseat of her car. Nathan knew that it wasn’t good for her, she wasn’t ready for what he wanted to give her. He lowered his hand which had wanted to touch her. Nathan was just about to leave when he heard her voice.

“Maybe I will go with you,” she started, “I can help if something goes wrong or something,”

“I would love to,” he said with a grin, the one which made her weak in the knees.

“I will be at your house at 6:30pm,” he smiled, “don’t be late”.

“Where are we going?” Amelia asked as soon as they left the house.

“I told you, I’m taking you to the cinema and maybe we’ll go get something to eat later.”

“But why? You want to piss Owen off, don’t you? If yes, I won’t go.”

“If I wanted to piss Owen off, would I take Meredith with me?” he asked her,

“You see, now get in the car, or I will carry you in there there” he said with a smile.

When Amelia was already in the car, he saw Meredith going in their direction, he couldn’t help it, every time he saw her, his knees were soft, hands were wet and sometimes he couldn’t say a word.

“She’s in the car?” she asked softly.

“Yeah, it wasn’t easy, you know, I had to say that I will carry her if she doesn’t want to go,”

“If I won’t go will you carry me too?” she asked flirty.

“Just say where and when,” he answered, closing the car door.

“And though the road is long

I look up to the sky

And in the dark I found, lost hope that I won’t fly

And I sing along, I sing along, then I sing along”  
The room was full off lights hanging from the ceiling, so bright that Owen was wondering if he pushed the line with that much light. The music was playing, table with two glasses and a bottle of sparkling lime water was standing in the middle. That was the same bottle Amelia brought the day he kissed her for the first time. He was a bit thrilled when he saw one of the nurses in the door, he couldn’t remember her name, but she was always nice to him.

“Good evening doctor Hunt, maybe I could help with something?” she asked politely.

“No, ehm, I got it,”

“You don’t remember my name, it’s okay. I am Rosie,”

“Of course I remember, it’s just… I need to hurry because my wife will be here any minute and I need to find the right song,” he started to look for a CD.

“I can help you with that,”

“No, thank you,”

Rosie took a step toward where Owen was standing. She was very pretty, but the only thing Owen could think about was how to ask her to leave before they bring Amelia. He tried to move away from her, but she was already near him, she put a hand on his chest and before he could notice, her lips were kissing him.

“We’re here,” Nathan said cheerfully.

“You brought me here? This is not a cinema, and what the hell is going on?” Amelia said loudly.

“Don’t be so rough on him, just go in there and be happy okay?” Meredith answered.

“Okay, but if this is some kind of joke, I will kill you both,”

Looking at Amelia leaving them, they both felt some kind of joy. They were alone, without problems and people. Nathan leaned back on his car. Mer did the same thing. After a second of silence, he felt she was shivering.

“Are you cold? We can get in the car if you want?”

“Remember the last time we were in the car together?” she asked with a smile.

“Yes. It was very nice, but now I want to make you warm,” he took his jacket off, and covered her with it.

“I didn’t know you were such a gentleman.”

“There are lots of things you don’t know about me, doctor Grey,” he said with a grin.

“I see the shadows long beneath the mountain top

I’m not the afraid when the rain won’t stop

Cause you light the way

You light the way, you light the way”  
Amelia slowly opened the door. The room was full of light, little lights were hanging from the ceiling like stars on the sky, she saw a little table in the middle of the room and a bottle of water. She knew that bottle from somewhere, but at the moment she couldn’t remember where. She was standing there in the door only for a couple of seconds, when her look headed to the two people she didn’t notice earlier. She saw a red haired girl with a tall man.

“What are you doing with my husband?!” she shouted.

Both of them jumped at once. Owen’s face was red, like he was struggling with some strange feeling, but the girl was smiling, not bothered that Amelia is yelling at her.

“Amelia it’s not what it looks like. I can explain,” Owen started.

“I will tell you what it looks like! You and that bitch were kissing and you are my fucking husband!” she shouted and her tears fell on her dress.

“She was kissing me, I didn’t want her to.”

“So now you are the victim here? Like you are not a strong guy and you couldn’t say no?”

“Next time I will do it. Please, don’t cry.”

“Next time? Next time? There won’t be a next time. We’re done!”

The last thing he saw was Amelia running out of the room. He was so stupid, she was totally right. He was in love with his wife and it can be ruined because of a stupid girl, who wanted to have fun. He was stupid and the only way to fix it was to run after the only woman he loves as fast as he could.


	7. You're my flashlight part 2

They were leaning on Nathan’s car for a moment looking into each other’s eyes, talking was so easy, that they felt like they knew each other for ages. Suddenly, they heard a noise from where Owen wanted to propose to Amelia. They saw Amelia running towards them. Owen was right behind her. Mer and Nathan looked at each other, they knew it shouldn’t look like that.

“Why did you bring me here?!” Amelia shouted, crying.

“What happened?” Mer and Nathan asked at once,

“Ask Owen, he is very friendly to the people from work.” she said, entering the car,

“What did you do?” Nathan asked quickly,

“It’s not your business, it’s your entire fault! You cheated on my sister!”

“What, Megan has something to do with it?”

“You destroy everything you touch! If I saw you near Meredith or Maggie….” Owen shouted,

“Hey! Hey!” Meredith stood between two man, “Owen go away, I will come to you in a minute.”

Owen’s fists were tightly clenched, Nathan could swear that he saw wild rage in his eyes. He took a step back to calm himself before he took Meredith and Amelia home.

“Could you take Amelia home?” Meredith asked,

“I won’t leave you with him. No way. Get in the car!”

Meredith took a step toward him, his eyes were wild open almost as much as Owen’s. She wasn’t afraid of him and she wasn’t afraid of Owen either. She just wanted to help him, if she does that she will help Amelia too. Meredith took Nathan’s hands into hers, their foreheads were touching too, they stood like that for a second, and then the yet each other go.

“If he does something to you, I will kill him.” Nathan said seriously,

“He won’t,” Meredith said, letting go of his hands.

Owen was sitting on the bench, and Meredith sat near him. He was calmer than before, his body became smaller while he hid his face in his hands.

“What did you do?” Mer asked gently,

“You know nurse Rosie?” he asked,

“Yes. I hate that name to be honest.”

“She kissed me, and then Amelia came in,” he paused, “I am so stupid. I didn’t mean to yell at Riggs. I know you like him.”

“I do. Why didn’t you push her away?”

“I don’t know. I mean it was so fast, I didn’t kiss back. I was standing there like a puppet.”

“We will sort things out. I will talk to Amelia. Explain everything.”

“Thank you. You think she will be home when I come back?”

“I think she will sleep in my place tonight.”

“Oh right, sure,” he said sadly, “I will drive you home.”

Nathan was driving slowly, he didn’t know for sure where Amelia wanted to go. He was sitting in the car but all he could think about was Meredith, he was afraid for her as he had never been about a woman. He knew Owen, he’d never hit a woman but he wasn’t in a good shape.

“I am sorry. I shouldn’t have driven you there.” he said calmly,

“It’s not your fault,” she whispered, “Owen said that you and Mer.” she change the subject,

“Yes. I mean no, we…I mean I and Meredith.” he answered,

“Okay, I know the problem. You need to tell Maggie as soon as possible. She can’t suffer because of a man.”

“Owen,” Nathan made a small pause, “he would never hurt you on purpose.”

“But he did. He kissed another girl,” a tear fell on her dress, “I don’t know why I go there.” tears burst from her eyes.

Nathan had been walking back and forth for almost an hour before the door in Meredith’s house finally opened. He jumped to see if everything was alright, they were lucky that Maggie had a night shift that night. He couldn’t stand the thought about waiting for a call from Meredith and not being there himself.

“Are you alright?” he asked quickly,

“Yes. What are you doing here?” she replied,

“I put Amelia to bed, she cried all the way here and she said Maggie has a night shift so I waited for you.”

“Thank you. It was awful to see him in this state,” she sat on the sofa, “he really loves her and that nurse was the one who kissed him.”

“Is he still mad? I mean mad at me?”

“No. He said that he shouldn’t have said that. Owen was so afraid of losing Amelia…”

“I know how he feels,” he looked at Mer, “I am afraid that I’m losing you too.”

“Nathan,” she paused, “not today please. Can we talk about it later? I am so tired.”

“Okay. I’ll put you to the bed and I am out of here,” he said with a grin,

“So you will carry me there right?” she smiled,

“Your wish is my command.” he answered, lifting her body from the couch.

The morning in the hospital was quiet, for some doctors it was even boring, the only one who wasn’t very happy about it was Owen. He couldn’t find a place for himself; he hadn’t talked with Amelia since the other night when he screwed things up by one mistake. He wanted to talk to her but whenever he saw her, Amelia acted like he doesn’t exist or just talked to Meredith or Nathan like he wasn’t there.

“You need to talk to him.” Meredith said,

“You should talk to Maggie.” Amelia answered,

“Hey! That wasn’t nice.” Nathan responded,

“Ugh, you two are acting like teenagers.”

“Just go there and ask him, let him explain the situation. You are married and he needs to get that opportunity.”

You two are…ugh!” she leaves both of the doctors at the cafeteria.

Amelia took a step towards her husband, he was tired for sure, his hair was messy and his eyes…his eyes seemed sad. For the first time Amelia was looking at her husband differently, he was hers, not Rosie’s, not Cristina’s, he was her husband and no bitch could ever change it. She was just about to approach him, when she heard the sound of ambulances.

“Did you talk with Amelia?” Nathan was the first to speak,

“No,” Owen was focused on his patient, “I want to… I am really sorry about last night.”

“It’s okay. Everybody has that one person that he is afraid of losing.” Nathan answered. “you still want to propose?”

“Yes. But I really don’t have time for preparation. My perfect timing was yesterday and now…I don’t even know where I could do this.”

“You trust me?” Nathan asked,

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes needs to be enough because I will help you make Amelia happy, mate.”

“Where are we going?” - Meredith asked for the third time,

“You will help me. You said you would help me and this is the time I need it.”

Nathan took her hand. This was the first time for both of them, and for a moment they feel a spark rushing through their bodies. They were going to the on call room in the west wing, the one that isn’t used often by doctors and the staff.

“If we are going to the on call room,” she paused,” I will punch you.”

“I want to help Owen, not myself, lady. And, well, it could be nice to get punched by you.” he grinned,

He had been thinking about how he could make a good place for Owen to propose to Amelia. He wanted it to be where they kissed for the first time, but it was too late because Owen sold his trailer some time ago. The second idea was so lame he didn’t even want to talk about it. The third one was so good. He decided to use Owen’s idea with flashlights and romantic music. Nathan saved the bottle from the place they were at yesterday, it could be very important to the married couple if it finds there.

“Give me the flashlight.” he told Mer,

“Am I only here to feed you stuff?”

“Of course not, but you know it will take forever if I have to go up and down on that ladder.”

“You are lucky I like you.”

“You like me?” he smiled. “How much do you like me?”

“Well, enough not to knock you down from the ladder.” she said,

“So it’s enough for me,”

When everything was ready they could sit at the bed and admire the work they’ve done. The room was full of light, the flashlights were hanging from the ceiling, the small roses were put in the vase at the right side of the room. The bottle with sparkling lime water was standing on the table with two cups. They couldn’t find better glasses, so they decided to bring cups with the hospital name on them.

“Can you tell me what are those flashlights for?” Mer asked,

“Uh, doctor Grey, I see you aren’t the romantic type.” he smiled. “Amelia is his light.”

“I’m dark and twisty but you mister,” she laughed, “you are a very romantic type.”

“No, I am not!” he shouted,

They looked at each other, laughing, Meredith wasn’t sure if she was ready for something new but she knew that Nathan would be the one she’d want something more with. She sat near him and touched his lips with hers, which was so gentle and sweet. They didn’t pay any attention to the door, which was already open.

“Hey! I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Owen said, looking at the couple,

“Sorry, I have to go. I have patients.” Meredith jumped from the bed,

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to.” Owen started,

“It’s okay. So what do you think?” Nathan asked,

“It’s amazing but I don’t know if Amelia will forgive me.”

“You need to try, at least.”

“She won’t come if I ask her. Could you?” Owen started,

“Yes. On my way,” Nathan got up from the bed, “and remember that she is your light.”

Owen was waiting in the on call room prepared by Nathan and Mer, he was so nervous he couldn’t breathe or think. He goes pick the music out, and when he pushes play, the door behind him opens.

“I got all I need when I got you and I  
I look around me, and see sweet life  
I’m stuck in the dark but you’re my flashlight  
You’re gettin’ me, gettin’ me through the night”

“Amelia.” he whispered,

“Owen.”

They were looking at each other, standing in a lit room. Owen was the first who spoke but for some reason Amelia was still looking at him like that time she was asking him to marry her.

“I know I screwed up but I love you. You are the reason I am waking up every morning. I don’t know what I was thinking, I probably wasn’t thinking but it will never happen again. I promise. Just say something.”

Amelia took a step toward her husband, she put her hands on his, their foreheads were touching and for a second both of them closed their eyes.

“I love you.” she said,

“I love you too,” he answered, “I want to marry you.”

“You are married to me.” she opened her eyes to look at him,

Owen knelt in front of her with one hand holding her hand. He pulled out a silver ring with three blue stones on it. His spark was even brighter with the light of flashlights.

“Amelia Shepherd, you are the love of my life, the reason I breathe and my light without which I couldn’t stand the evilness of the world. Will you marry me?”

“Yes. I will,” she knelt to kiss him. “you are the love of my life but if you kiss another girl again…” she smiled,

“I won’t. The only girl I want to kiss is right here.”

“Can’t stop my heart when you shinin’ in my eyes  
Can’t lie, it’s a sweet life  
I’m stuck in the dark but you’re my flashlight  
You’re gettin’ me, gettin’ me through the night  
Cause you’re my flash light  
You’re my flash light, you’re my flash light”


	8. Hold my hand

This is the burden that I carry

And it goes back 100 years

But all the shit I did, I am done with it

You’ve got every right to leave

But stay with me

Nathan was standing in front of the window, his heavy breath was burning his lungs like he was just about to run a mile marathon. He was so petrified that even deep breaths couldn’t help him. The patient which was laying there, in front of him, he should’ve help her, but she was so similar to Megan. She had her blue eyes, her hair and even the way she looked at him. Nathan run away from the ER so fast, the only thing he did was to paige Pierce and pray for that patient to not have any cardio damage. Megan was in him, she was so deep in his heart that he almost feel how her smile, the way she talk about kids and how she looked at him when both of them were right and others don’t, make them feel like one person blend in into him. He was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn’t hear the door was opened.

“Everything is okay?” she asked him,

“Yeah.” he answered mechanically, “No.” he ended.

“Can I help?”

“I think no one can.” he turn to her, so she could see his face.

“Sometimes, it helps. I know I shouldn’t say that because I’m the most stubborn person here, but I can listen to you.”

Hold my hand

I can hear the ghosts calling

Help me stand

Even if the sky is falling

And I want you to know I can’t do it alone

Hold my hand, my hand, my hand

Nathan sat on the sofa, he looked smaller that usual and Meredith was thinking if she looks like this after Derek’s death, she was just about to leave him alone when she heard his voice.

“Sit with me, Meredith.” he asked gently.

When they both were sitting on the sofa, he looked ahead like she wasn’t there, like he was alone in the room. His body shivered on the memories he remember that day. After seconds of silence he feel the warm hand on his, he looked up at Meredith.

“She had her eyes, her hair. The patient we admit today. She looks exactly like Megan. The way she looked at me…I feel like it was Megan and I couldn’t…I couldn’t handle this pain. I want to know what happened, I loved her, even if she wanted to name our baby Bernard.”

“When Derek left…” she looked at his hand in hers, “When Derek died, I thought that the world end and in some way that happened because he was my world. You challenge yourself to be brave because you think people need to see you that way. They aren’t. You need to pass it through in your way.” she squeezed his hand.

“I always forget that you lost someone too. I’m sorry that I’m such jackass.” he smiled.

“I’m glad I could help, if you need someone to talk, I’m here, even if you were a jackass.” she smiled back.

He saw her back when she leaves the room, he had never felt that way about Megan, they never were so close, maybe because they never lost one until she didn’t came back. He looked at his hand, now abandoned by the person who give him the warmth of her skin, he knew that Megan will always have a place in his heart. Now, he knew that his heart is a place for one more woman, the one who help him survive the storm.

Hold my hand, hold my hand

I need you now

Hold my hand, hold my hand

I need you.


	9. Just give me a reason

The cafeteria was half empty when the door opened loudly. Nathan was standing there for a moment, but after he saw Amelia sitting on a corner, he started to walk faster towards her.  
He stopped by her table and waited until her eyes met his.

“Hi,” she started,”What’s up?”

“Please ask me what just happened.” his voice was louder than he thought.

“Okay, what just happened?”

“I asked Meredith to go with me on a date! You know, a real one with movie and dinner.”

“Oh, you and Mer. It’s big deal I see.”

“Yeah, but I have a problem, and I was wondering if you will have some time to help me.”

“Yeah, sure. I have plenty of time. What problem do you have?”

“I completely don’t know what to wear.” he said quietly.

“Well, so we can say that you already found your fairy grandmother to help you.” Amelia smiled.

The big bed was covered with a bunch of clothes, winter clothes included. Pink blouses, jeans, dark shorts or high heel shoes were a new decoration for Meredith’s room. She sat on the bed, looking around for a first time since she start to prepare for a date with Nathan. Her room was a mess and her life was too. She had already asked Maggie if her sister could take care of her children, Maggie wasn’t happy about it, but as a good sister she agreed. Meredith couldn’t force herself to ask Maggie to help her find a good clothes. It could be too much for her sister, even if she said that her crush on Nathan was over. When Meredith was just about giving up and choosing to wear cozy home clothes, she heard something in the hallway.

“I’m not a good sister, I’m mad because of your date with him, but I won’t let you go wearing that.” Maggie said.

“Thank you.” Meredith whispered. 

“So, what do we have here… Do you really want to wear that?” Maggie pointed at yellow blouse.

“I was desperate!” Meredith answered.

“Okay. So, you want to have sex with him or it’s just a date?”

“MAGGIE!”

“What? How can I help you if I don’t know what your plans are?”

“It’s just a date. We’ll go for a movie and later dinner.”

“Okay. Put it on!”

“Are you kidding? i said I won’t have sex with him”

“Yeah, right. Put it on!”

Meredith took a short black dress with lace on the back, she wore it with red high heels and matching bag. She knew how she looked like, like a girl who wanted to impress a guy. She brushed her hair, leaving them falingl at her arms. For the first time she was ready to dazzle the guy.

Amelia was in his house for a second time, she couldn’t believe how the guy’s house could be so clean. Nathan was just about to wear his tenth outfit of the day when she stood up in front of him.

“You are worse than a girl! Just choose the one you feel good in and go on this date!” she shouted holding his arms and shaking him a bit.

“I can’t! I’ve never behaved that way… I really want to….I want everything to be perfect.”

“It will, if you ever leave the house.” she looked at him, “Here! Wear this and go!”

Nathan looked at the light blue shirt and dark trousers Amelia gave him. He put them on fast, added a tie, jacket and checked his reflection in the mirror. He looked good, but good enough to impress a woman like Meredith Grey? He didn’t wait long to find out.

Nathan knocked on the door several times before she opened, her hair was shining in the light of the sun, her dress, makeup even shoes were perfect and for a moment Nathan had trouble breathing not to mention talking.

“You look stunning.” he said.

“You look handsome too. Are they for me?” she pointed at the flowers he had in hand.

“Yes, sorry.” he gave her bouquet of red roses.

“Can we go?” she asked, looking at him.

“Yes.” he whispered.

They watched a movie and later went to the restaurant he chose. It wasn’t far so they decided to take a walk. The night was warm, but sometimes the cold wind would break under their clothes. Nathan took off his jacket and put it on Meredith’s shoulders. She looked at him in a way no one had ever looked at him before. Her eyes met his and for one moment the both want to break the space between them. They were almost ready for kiss, when they looked at the guy in front of the restaurant who was supposed to show them their table. The walk was faster when they filled it with talk and laughter.

The restaurant looked cozy, white walls with little paintings on it, dark tables and matching chairs. The warm light of candles brought Meredith and Nathan into romantic mood.

“I was an only child for some time, but later my sisters came up. It was good because I have never been alone” Meredith said.

“Sisters?”

“Yes. I had one more sister, her name was Lexie. She died in a plane crash.”

“So sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Nathan replied, touching his tie again.

“It’s alright. It’s something bothering you? You are touching that tie all the time.”

“Sorry, I’m not used to wearing a tie.” he blushed.

“So why are you wearing it now?”

“Because I really wanted to give you a reason to be with me, the tie is just the beginning.”

“You put on something just to impress me?”

“Well, yes.”

At once, the romantic mood of the restaurant, her dress or his tie weren’t so important. Meredith finally understood what was wrong with that date. With them. They weren’t themselves. Both of them want to make an impression at each other, losing the right way.

“Can we go?” meredith asked.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Nathan smiled.

When they left the restaurant, both of them felt better. Nathan took off his fancy tie and Meredith still had his jacked on her arms. They were walking along the river, looking at the light flashing into water.

“I asked you for a reason,” Meredith started, “but the truth is that I’m afraid that I will fall in love with you and you’ll disappear like Derek.”

Nathan took a step towards her, his icy blue eyes were looking only at her, he took her face into his hands, their foreheads touched, after a few moments he looked at her once more.

“I can’t promise you that I won’t disappear like Derek. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow or a year from now. I can promise you just one thing. If you let me love you, if you let me come into your world, I will do anything to give you thousand reasons to love me.”

“I asked for a reason and I couldn’t have asked for better one than the one you just gave me. You are a good person, Nathan.”

While Meredith was embraced by his strong body, she knew the reason she might love him; He knew them all, he knew her and didn’t want to hurt her. Maybe it was not the best reason to love someone, but for Meredith was the best possible. After a while spent with Nathan on the riverside, looking how the sun is going down, she didn’t need any more reasons.


	10. Take a chance on me

The gallery was half full, the surgery Pierce was working on was one of a kind and everyone wanted to see it. Meredith sat on the last available chair, her body was shivering, she felt pain in every move she made. She was supposed to be at home with her kids or under the blankets, drinking hot chocolate or eating soup, but her intern almost begged her to come to work. Her eyes were shutting down without her permission when she opened them wildly. Once again, Meredith saw Riggs in the other corner of the room. He was watching her and she couldn’t stop looking at him either. They were staring at each other for some time, but after few minutes Meredith took a chance and left the room, thinking about the only thing she wanted to do today… sleep, if the on call room was free, she would be the luckiest girl in the world.

The on call room was half dark, lit only by the reflexes of moon. Meredith was lying on the bed, shivering. She didn’t want to move from the place she was, but the longer she was lying there, her frame was even more cold. Her body was covered with tree blankets, but she still felt cold, her hands hidden deeply under the coverlet. The only uncovered part of her was face and some of the hair. Meredith wished her whole body could be up in some warm, cozy place, preferable forever.

She was thinking about it for some time when suddenly the door opened with little snap.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Nathan asked gently.

“I’ve been better.” she answered.

“Okay, so…I have an idea which you will be so happy about.”

“If you mean sex…” she started.

“Doctor Grey, I know you can’t resist me, but you are sick and I don’t think sex will be the best thing for you at this moment.”

“Ugh, yeah, but you know, I tried.” she gave him a small smile.

“I am hot, you are cold so maybe I will go there and give you some of my body heat.” he gazed at her.

“You’re not hot, you are warm. I really want to refuse, but I am so cold that I will do anything to not freeze,” she moved a bit so he could jump behind her, “if you try something I will kick you.”

“Doctor Grey! I’m touched! I couldn’t use a woman, especially ill or with a cold. I like when my girls are conscious during it,” he paused, “well, never mind. I’m here to warm you,”

They were lying on the bed for some time when Nathan broke the silence between them, he was so close Meredith’s body that he could feel when she took a deep breath.

“Maybe we handle it otherwise?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I take you home, my home, take care of you and Maggie and Amelia will take care of your children?” he paused to see her reaction, “you don’t want to infect your children, do you?”

“I don’t, but I can’t it’s nice of you.” she paused, “I can’t.”

They were still looking at each other when one of the pagers beeped. Meredith stood up and looked at her phone. She put on her shoes even if her head was spinning.

“Thank you for offer and for being my heater.” she smiled, leaving the room.

Meredith knew that wasn’t a good idea as soon as she left the on call room. She could lie there with Nathan all day, she could even accept his offer, but for some reason she didn’t. Her head was spinning even more when she try to get to the patient she was paged to. Meredith felt the cold inside and outside of her body, but that wasn’t the only problem, she leaned on the wall just to catch some balance. When she entered the room, everyone was looking at her.

“Meredith are you okay?” Amelia asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine. What happened?” Meredith replied.

“Come, let’s go outside.” Amelia said, moving her from the room. “You are going home. We will take care of the kids. You will lie down and tell us what you need.”

“I have one offer like that, but I’m fine. I’ll just take some pills and be like new.”

While Mer was saying that words to Amelia, she felt like her head bounced, her body became lighter and her sight began to blur. The last thing she saw was the light of the bulb under her lying body.

She woke up on the bed that wasn’t hers, she felt the soft pillow under her head, the creamy white blanket was covering her whole body and after seconds she felt the hot air escaping from the heater. Meredith rose enough to sit when she felt the scent of chicken soup filling the room.

“You kidnapped me?’ she asked.

“No. I have permission from Amelia to take care of you while you are sick. You are lucky that you are not on the ward with both your sisters and friends looking if you are okay. You scared us, when you passed out, I was close enough to catch you so Amelia didn’t have to order a CT.” Nathan smiled, putting hot soup on the mini table in front of her.

“Are you kidding me? I must go home to my children.”

“No, you won’t because your children are at home with Amelia and Maggie, they are making waffles or pie, I don’t know for sure. We can call them if you want, but after you eat some soup.”

“Okay. You won this time just because I’m very hungry.”

“That’s good. I have some food you might like.” he grinned, “I asked Amelia what you like.” 

They were sitting on the bed, laughing and eating the meal Nathan cooked. Meredith was a bit sad that she couldn’t be with her children, but she told herself that they were in good hands.

“I didn’t know you could cook.” Mer said.

“There are some things you didn’t know about me. I like cooking, there was a time I must feed twenty people in war zone so I learned some things there.”

“Sorry, I didn’t want to bring it up again.”

“It’s okay, really i like to talk with you. You can ask me whatever you want.” he smiled.

After the amazing dinner he prepared for her, they both lay on the bed, Nathan was close to her, but she didn’t feel forced to anything. They both were watching the movie she had chosen when Meredith broke the silence.

“I have never had so much fun being sick.”

“Well, that’s the best compliment that a man could hear from a girl.” he grinned.

They were staring at each other fpr a couple of seconds before Meredith reached for his lips, she knew that she was sick and probably wouldn’t be a good kisser in that circumstance, but the spark in Nathan’s eyes gave her a bit of courage to do it. She put her lips to his. Both of them were ready for another step, but for some reasons they were ready to wait for it for some time. They wanted to be ready and healthy enough to enjoy it.

“Can we just…” he started,

“Watch a movie?” she ended, like she was reading in his mind.

Nathan put his hand on her shoulder, they were lying there, hugging and enjoying their company. Meredith put her head onto his chest, listening of rapid beating of his heart. She looked at him once more, he turned his head so they both could look at each other, when he kissed her forehead Meredith knew that, that cold was the best that could happened to her.


	11. Before it happened- merthan perspective

Nathan was leaving the room, when, at once, all memories became brighter. The history he had with April, all the sleepless nights spent in the desert and the fact that he was here because of her. He treated her like a sister he never had. He wanted her to be happy, but Nathan wasn’t sure if his relationship with Meredith was strong enough to expose. He was hoping that his double date won’t end badly for him.

*****

Nathan was sitting on the bench in front of the hospital. He hasn’t been that nervous since the day Megan disappeared. After he sent Meredith a message to meet him here, he couldn’t focus on anything else except looking on his phone. Nathan was so focused that he didn’t hear when Meredith sat next to him.

“So, what’s so urgent?” she asked.

“You are here, I thought you won’t come.”

“Why?” she smiled. “You want to break up with me? Because your face is so scared.”

Nathan took a deep breath and turned to her, so he could look into her eyes. He stared at her for a second before the words came out.

“I arranged a double date for us. In 30 minutes, at the bar nearby.” he said in one breath. “I know, I should have asked you first, but April is my friend. She and Jackson need to sort some things out and I thought that we can help them because well, we just started and -” he paused, looking at her.

Meredith took his face in her hands, pulling him closer to her warm body. They sat in front of the hospital, where everyone could see them. She put her lips on his. The kiss was so overwhelming for Nathan, that he almost fell from the bench he was sitting on. Nathan noticed a long time ago that every time Mer touches him, his body starts to live it’s own life..

“I don’t mind. We should go on a date, we are a couple and a double date won’t be so awkward.” she said, still holding his face.

“You mean it?”

“Yes. Let me change, and we can go.” she said, standing up.

“Thank you, honey.” Nathan said.

“I don’t like it.”

“Don’t like what?”

“Nicknames. We are too old for that.”

“We are not. I will call you that until you choose something different.” he grinned.

“You have a second girlfriend?” Meredith asked.

“What? No, of course not!” he almost shouted. “Why do you think that?”

“Because when men want to call women nicknames, they have other girls and don’t want to memorize all the names.”

“Meredith Grey, you are a strong and fearless woman. I have been trying to convince you to be with me for so long. I don’t need another girl, when I have you.”

Meredith looked at him. She has always had a problem believing men, but this time she believed in every word he had said. Grey was about to go change her clothes, when she agreed with the man who she already fell in love with.

“Babe.” she said.

“Excuse me?” Nathan asked.

“You can call me “babe”, if you want to. But don’t overuse it!” she smiled.

“Of course, only in unusual circumstances.” he paused, “Babe.”

Meredith looked at him over her arm, while she was leaving him. Nathan was smiling, whispering the word she just let him call her. “Babe” was his favorite nickname for sure.

******

The bar was dark and crowded, people were talking loudly, but Nathan and Meredith found a place in the corner. They sat next to each other, so the place in front of them was free. Nathan put his hand on Meredith’s shoulder, he felt like a teenager on a date, but he liked that feeling so much. Meredith turned her face to him, and when she looked into his eyes Nathan’s world shrunk to her eyes. He touched her cheek and after a second his thumb was caressing her skin. They were about to kiss, when they saw April and Jackson kissing near their table. When they sat in front of them, Nathan’s hand landed on Meredith’s knee. For the first time, Meredith doesn’t mind his hand on her knee, or him calling her ‘babe”.


	12. Love me like you do

Nathan was driving home, thinking about what just happened. He was so excited about that date, ready to move on with Meredith after Megan. At once Nathan remembered the talk Arizona gave him. Maybe she was right and Meredith and Derek were meant to be, perhaps he was the love of her life? He was near his home when the decision made itself. The spark of energy she gave him every time she looked at him, the way she moved and laughed. He needed to learn how to live without those because he wouldn’t chase Meredith Grey anymore.

******

The day was lazy and calm, the doctors were busy only with catching up with charts. Arizona was sitting in the cafeteria, thinking about one more coffee and maybe something to eat when Nathan sat down in front of her. He looked tired and Arizona noticed that he was a bit sad. Nathan put his charts on the desk, still not saying a word.

“Is there something wrong? Is it your date?” Arizona asked.

“Yes and no.” he replied, “there was no date at all.”

“Were you feeling that bad?” Arizona grinned.

“She said that Maggie needs her. It was so….Maggie had Amelia there, so I understood the message and just let it go.”

“You what?” she almost shouted, “I thought you were deeply in love in Meredith Grey.”

“I am, but she doesn’t feel that way. I won’t be a puppet, Arizona, we are both adults, with a background that no one who didn’t have the same experience would get. Now, it’s just sad.”

“I get it, but maybe she needs another chance? She treated you-”

Arizona took a look at the front door, Meredith was entering the room with almost the same face look as Nathan only minutes before. Mer went straight towards them, Arizona never saw her like that before, she was holding the charts like it was her armor.

“Can I talk with you ehm, Dr Riggs?”

Nathan looked into her eyes, she never saw him like that, his eyes getting bigger and the jaw clenched with anger. Whole body looked like it was strained with a string. She shouldn’t have called him “dr Riggs”, but Meredith didn’t want Arizona to know about their “relationship”. She didn’t want to answer all those questions because she wasn’t sure how what answer was.

“Yes, dr Grey.” he replied.

“Can I talk to you about one of my patients? It’s urgent.” she tried to smiled.

“So sorry dr Grey, I’m very busy with dr Robbins, as you can see. Please go to dr Pierce, she will help you with whatever you need.” he answered sarcastically.

“But, I thought-” she stopped and look at him once again, “that you would be interested in this case.”

“I was, but I’m not anymore.”

Nathan stood up, looking for Arizona to do the same. He grabbed her elbow so she knew in which direction they were going. Meredith was looking at them, still thinking if they were talking about a case she made up, or their not existing relationship that she had probably screwed up.

******

“That was mean!” Arizona said, leaving the cafeteria.

“I’m not proud of it either, but it helps me and her to move on. I’m a bad guy, did you forget?” he looked at his new friend.”Thanks that you came with me.”

“That’s the friends are for. Don’t worry, you are not only bad person here. I sleep with the enemy.”

“Oh, so you and Eliza-”

“Yes, sort of, no.” she took a deep breath,”I don’t know”

Arizona took Nathan by the arm, they were walking in silence for some time. They both were in dead ends when it came to relationships, that’s why they got along so well.

“You know if we don’t find anyone, we could be a couple.” Arizona said, looking straight ahead.

At once they start to laugh, them as a couple was so ridiculous that both start to laugh so hard that one of the nurses asked them to leave the hallway.

******

Arizona was just about to leave the locker room, she wanted to cheer up her new friend so they were to meet at the bar and drink until one of them couldn’t move. Arizona put her things to the bag, when suddenly the door opened. Meredith stood in the door, like she want to change her mind and leave. She took a first step and entered the room, Mer started to change her clothes when Arizona broke the silence between them.

“Nathan isn’t a bad guy.” Arizona said, putting her bag on the shoulder.

“I know that.” Mer replied.

“So why are you treating him that way? He isn’t your toy or puppy. He care about you. He wants to build a relationship with you and you just-”

“I’m not mad-” she interrupted, “I’m just scared.” she gasped.

Arizona looked at her tiny frame, Meredith tried to be strong for herself and her children. Arizona sat next to her and surrounded Meredith with her arm.

“Nathan Riggs is the one who broke your armour after Derek’s death. I looked at him once or twice when he was watching you. You are his diamond, his treasure and to be honest I don’t think that he ever wants to hurt you.”

“Yeah, except this morning, we didn’t talk about a patient as you probably know.”

“He said that he doesn’t want to hurt you. You need to decide what you want in your life. It’s up to you, we can go to him now and you can talk about it.”

“Nathan won’t talk to me. You saw him today.”

“I go with him on a drink tonight. You can join and later I just disappear.” Arizona smiled.

“We can try, but I don’t think it’ll work.”

******

Nathan was at the bar for some time when Arizona finally arrived. He liked her, it was so good to have a friend in new city and have someone who would listen to you after a hard day.

He stood up so she could sit next to him.

“I thought you wouldn’t come.” he smiled.

“I have a friend with me.”

“Eliza? I would love to meet her.”

“No, but thank you. She is outside, I’m going home. You won’t regret.”

“Arizona!” he shouted after her. 

He saw only her light hair when she was leaving the bar. Nathan stood up, thinking about who she came with. He paid for his drink and left the bar.

He saw her blond hair at first, she stood in front of the bar, wearing light blue, lace dress. She looked so incredible beautiful that for a one moment he couldn’t breath. Meredith knew how to impress a guy.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to treat you that way. I-”

“It’s okay.” he interrupted.

“No! Let me finish please.” she took a step toward him and took his hands.

“I was scared. After Derek’s death, I had one guy, I was with my husband for so long that I forgot how to build relationships. I am used to being alone.” she looked into his eyes.

Nathan felt the weight of her hand, lying on his. He wanted to be so close to her, to feel the warmth of her body. They stood there some time when her body shivered from the cold.

“Can you drive me home?” she asked.

“Yes, of course.”

“Will you stay with me? I have surprise for you.” she whispered, gently kissing his lips.

******

The house was calm and dark. Nathan wondering where the children were, but he was so focused on the dark path that he didn’t asked. She pulled him to the living room. The dark house became lighter from the candles. The scent of food was filled the room, mixing with smoke scent. Meredith let go his hand and took a step to the music player. After seconds house was filled with silent music.

“Can we dance?” she asked.

“I would love to.”

They swayed with the rhythm of the music, tones of the music were getting them closer. Their bodies were like one, strongly united. They were just about to kiss when the music change at once.

“You’re the light, you’re the night

You’re the color of my blood

You’re the cure, you’re the pain

You’re the only thing I wanna touch”

“Are you really listening to this?” he grinned.

“It’s better than lullabies or kids song.” she smiled.

“Well, that’s for sure.”

Nathan was looking into her eyes like it was the most beautiful painting. He touched her forehead with his, for him it was the best song he had ever listened to, even if it’s change from a kids song about frogs. They stayed dancing till the music stopped.


	13. You'll always be his princess

The sound of flushed water wasn’t the way Maggie wanted to start the day. When she received a message from Amelia, she thought that was a joke, but after all the asking, she met them there.

“Why did we need to meet here?” she asked.

“Because your sister has food poisoning and she can’t move from there for about 20 minutes.” Amelia answered.

“Meredith. Are you okay?”

“Yes. It’s because of the sandwich I ate.”

“Or…” Amelia started, “you’re pregnant again.”

Maggie and Amelia looked at the closed door. The sound wasn’t so loud and both of them were waiting for Meredith to respond. Maggie, after all that story with Nathan, got used to them being a couple. It was hard at the beginning, but now she wanted to be a rock for Meredith and her relationship. Both sisters were about to ask one more time when the door opened.

“I’m not pregnant.” Meredith answered. “I just ate this fucking sandwich.”

Mer made a few steps toward the sink, she was pale and her stomach gave a rare noise. She washed her face with cold water, after that she looked in the mirror. She can’t be pregnant, but if she is, that will be the worst thing ever.

“What do you plan for Zola’s birthday?” Amelia asked to lighten the atmosphere.

“Ugh that. Don’t get me wrong. I would love to make her a big party, but this year, she wanted two parties. One for the family and one for friends.”

“We’re the family, right?” Maggie asked.

“Well, sort of. She wanted to make a party for me, Ellis and Bailey. The second one is for everyone else.”

“Okay. So we’ll help you.”

“Thank you.” Meredith answered.

********

Nathan was standing in front of the ladies bathroom. He knew that he looked like a fool, but after he saw Meredith running here, he just get worried. They were a couple for only a few months, but he cared about her more than about anyone else. Nathan was just about to leave when the door opened, and he saw Amelia, Maggie and Meredith leaving the room.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes. Food poisoning.” she gave him a small smile.

“So the date is off, I guess.”

“Yes, so sorry. I need to prepare two birthday parties. We can meet next week. Zola’s party will be on Saturday and the other on Sunday.”

“You didn’t tell me it’s Zola’s birthday.”

“Yeah. This Friday. She will turn 8 years old.”

“Can I give her a present? Or I can make a party for her? I’m very good at parties.”

“You really want to?” Meredith smiled.

“Yes. I would love that. If she want to of course.”

“Maybe you could come to our house today and ask?” Meredith said, “ Bailey would love to play with you as well.”

“Awesome. See you later!” he kissed her cheek.

Meredith was standing there for a moment, she turned and went to her sisters. Now when everything was good, she could focus on her patient.

*********

The house was lit with small lights. The door was already open when he got out of his car. He brought something for all the kids, but he was really worried about Zola’s reaction. He was just a guy who is dating her mother, and even he wasn’t sure how it works for them.

“Is anyone home?” he knocked at the door.

“Uncle Nathan!!!” he heard Bailey’s voice from the kitchen.

“Hi, mate. How are you?”

“I’m good. We’re baking birthday cake for Zola, but we will probably order one.”

“Why?”

“Because mommy can’t bake. She burned the second one already.”

“Maybe we go in there and help?” Nathan took Bailey’s hand.

The kitchen was a mess. Flour, milk and sugar were all over the place, the small sugar roses were smashed on the floor and in the middle of that was Meredith with a bowl filled with eggs and water. He was sure she was looking for egg shells there.

“Hi, babe. Maybe you need help?” he asked, smiling.

“Yes, oh God yes. Please tell me that you can bake cakes?”

“I’ll tell you for a kiss.”

Meredith waited for him to come closer, she didn’t want to make any more damage in her kitchen and she was sure that one of the birthday candles is near her feet. Nathan took a step toward her, careful not to smash anything on the way. When he came near her, she put her hands on his neck, she stood at her toes and gave him a hot kiss.

“So, let me do it for you.”

“Yes, please. I will go to check how the kids are and will be right back.”

“Don’t. I mean, I can handle it.”

After two hours of baking and cleaning, the kitchen looked much better than before. He cleaned the dishes, the cake was baked and he was just about to put a frosting on it when Zola came in. She sat on the chair in front of him in silence.

“Hi, Zola. I made you a cake and was just about to ask you what frosting do you want.” he smiled.

She didn’t say a word, her brown eyes were looking at him and, unlike her brother and little sister, she wasn’t happy about his visit.

“You will never be my daddy. My daddy died and you will never be him.”

“I know that. I’m not trying to be your dad, I just want to make your birthday special.” he answered.

“I don’t want you here! I want my daddy!” she yelled.

“Zola!” Meredith shouted. “apologize to Nathan now!”

“I won’t. He is not my dad, he should be dead, not daddy! I want my daddy!!” she cried. “I want my dad to be at my birthday! Not him!” she screamed, running from the kitchen.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know she would act like that. I’ll talk with her.”

“Let me, please.” Nathan took steps to the door.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be sad about what she said.”

“Yes. I’m sure. You can ice the cake if you want.”

Nathan took a step and almost immediately turned back. He kissed Meredith’s forehead and after that changed his mind.

“Or just leave it. I’ll make it when I get back.”

“You think I can’t handle it?” she asked.

“No, babe. It’s because we don’t have ingredients to bake another one.” he grinned, leaving the kitchen.

**********

All the thoughts started to run through his head when he was in front of Zola’s door. He knew she suffered more than anyone, Derek was her father, she is old enough to miss him and also feel betrayed by her mother because she’s seeing someone else. Nathan took a deep breath and knocked the door.

“Zola. Can I come in?” he asked.

The silent sound of crying got his attention, he gently pushed the door. She was laying on her bed with the plush bear wearing doctor’s scrubs. He sat on the edge of the bed. He wasn’t ready for this at all.

“I was 10 years old when my dad died. I didn’t know why he didn’t come home. I was mad and sad at once, all the time. I thought that my mother betrayed me and my dad by marrying another guy.” he looked at his hands, “he was my whole world and after his death, I had to build my world again. Alone.”

“Did you like the husband of your mother?”

“Not really. He tried. He gave me presents, never forgot about my birthday, but he wasn’t my dad. He gets that, just like I get it. I promise you that I’ll never want to replace your dad. Never. You have my word.”

“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to say all those things. I really wanted to spend my birthday with dad. He always said that I’m his princess.” she sobbing.

“You will always be your dad’s princess.” he held her hand. “I just want to ask you for a chance. I never had children. I don’t know how to be a friend for you and your siblings. I really want to be.”

“You’re doing good. At least my mom isn’t burning the kitchen.” she smiled.

“That’s true. You want to choose frosting for your cake or must I leave you alone here?”

Zola sat on her bed, her eyes were a bit red and her dress was crumpled. She turned to Nathan and let him give her a big, strong hug. They went down the stairs straight to the kitchen.

“Mommy. I’m sorry.” Zola hugged her. “I didn’t mean to.”

“You should apologize to Nathan as well.”

“She already did.” he smiled to Zola.

“Can I choose the frosting?”

“Of course.” Nathan answered. “you can also help me ice it, if you want.”

“Yes. I want pink and blue.”

“Like a princess dress?” Nathan looked at Zola.

“Like a princess dress.” she smiled.

********

They were both so tired, cake, presents and laughter filled the room for almost 2 hours. After cleaning and putting kids to sleep, the only thing they wanted was sleep. They sat on a couch next to each other. Meredith put her head on his shoulder, she was so tired that even sitting straight was too much for her. 

“I need to tell you something. Before you hear the rumors.” she started with her eyes closed.

“Do I need to worry?” Nathan asked.

“I think not, but it was a long day so I’m not hundred percent sure.”

Nathan opened his eyes and looked at her, he kissed her head and surrounded her with his arm. After that day, he was ready for every situation.

“Everyone thinks I’m pregnant with you, but I’m not.”

“Ugh. Even if you were, I think it wouldn’t be a problem. I would help you with everything I can.”

Meredith sat straight, her eyes became bigger, she never thought that Nathan was that kind of guy. Of course she thought about how supportive he can be, but now she was sure.

“I love you.” she said.

“I love you too.” he answered.


	14. I won't hold your hand

The first raindrops were falling from the sky when they reached the hotel. A big, white building with a green climber on it was lit by some outsides lamps. Meredith felt relieved when she saw the hotel, after what happened or could have happened to her that day, the only thing she wanted was to shower and get on a clean bed with an extra blanket on it.

“Do you think they’ll leave a mint on the pillow?” Nathan asked, getting their things from the cab.

“I hope so because I’m starving.”

“Maybe we’ll go to the hotel restaurant and grab something to eat before sleep?”

“No thanks. All I can think of doing tonight is taking a shower and going to sleep.” she smiled.

“Okay. It’s your choice.”

Meredith walked through the big door to the hotel lobby, looked around and found the reception. She walked toward the woman and immediately asked about her room.

“My name is Dr.Grey, my friend and I have booked rooms here.” she said.

“Dr Grey yes, and your friend is?”

“Dr Riggs.”

“Oh yes I see. Rooms number 200 and 201.”

“The rooms are next to each other?” she asked.

“No they are opposite.”

“Are you ready?” Nathan smiled, holding her bag.

“Of course. I have your key. Here you go.”

“My key?” he asked, ‘I thought we needed only one room?”

“In your dreams. As you know some of us need some to sleep. It’s impossible with you in the room.”

“Well, Dr Grey, I’m flattered. You finally appreciate my skills. My speciality is small spaces as you know.” he grinned.

“I meant talking. It’s hard to sleep when you’re talking.” she smiled.

Both doctors finally found their rooms, Nathan gave her bag and leaned against the door. He looked at Meredith for some time thinking about what happened on the plane, when only few hours before they might have lost their lives. Nathan took a step toward her and touched her cheek, feeling her body shake under his touch.

“No!” she stopped him.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to. It’s your choice, I’ll wait until you’re ready.” he kissed her forehead.

“I’m sorry.” she said quickly, closing the door.

*************

Nathan was lying on the bed for some time. The whole situation gave him so much to thinking about. Especially about Meredith. He was hearing the noise of the city, looking at the ceiling. He didn’t know where all that might end up. Where he might end up if Meredith didn’t want to be with him. He felt something for her, something that gave him chills every time he saw her. Every time she smiled, laughed or just teased him. Nathan loved the way her eyes said yes when her mouth said no. He knew that every time she looked at him, when she thought no one was watching.

.

Nathan stood up quickly. He wouldn’t wait, he would be there for her, even if she didn’t want to.

****************

The noise of the raging water was like a lullaby. Meredith was under the shower for almost 30 minutes. The water were flowing on her skin, she closed her eyes and remembered the sex in the plane. She told Nathan that no one could know about it. She didn’t want anyone to be hurt, but at once it wasn’t so important to her. Suddenly Meredith opened her eyes, she knew what she had to do. For the first time she doesn’t want to run from all the feelings and resign from her happiness for someone else. She covered herself in the fluffy towel and after seconds she was in her room looking for the robe. When she couldn’t find it, she hoped that everyone in the hotel were already sleeping. She opened the door, dressed only in white hotel towel. When she was already outside, she saw the only person who she wanted to see that night.

*************

“Where are you going, dressed like that?” Nathan asked.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you like that before.”

Nathan looked around the hall, both of them wanted to talk, but suddenly the talk wasn’t that important, Meredith was standing there, covered only with a towel. Nathan found it sexy as hell, but not that much to show it to all hotel guests. He pushed her gently to her room. When the door closed with click, he couldn’t stop himself. Nathan pulled Meredith closer to his body, looked at her and admired her amazing body. He grabbed her arms and crushed her lips with a strong, passionate kiss. Their tongues were dancing in the erotic rhythm, this time he was the one who broke the connection between them.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t want that. Not tonight.” he breathed in deeply.

“I want to, but I’m…”

“It’s okay. I ruined it. When I saw you…covered only in this blanket. I lost it.”

“I don’t want it like that…if we do it here it doesn’t have any meaning. We’ll be only doctors who had sex in the conference. How many couples do you know that start with that?” she asked.

“Couple?” he looked at her, “you and me…you want us to be a couple?”

“Yes. You don’t?”

“Of course, but I thought that…” he paused.

“All I wanted was sex?”

“Well. No. Of course not.”

“It was like that at the beginning, but now that I know you… It’s different.” she shivered.

Nathan took a step towards her and hugged her tightly. Suddenly he lifted her up and put her gently on the bed in front of them. Nathan wrapped her into dark blanket and lay behind her. For the first time that day she felt not only the warmth of his body, but also the safety he gave her only with his presence. He kissed her head and hugged her even tighter.

“I could say that to you.” she whispered.

“What babe?”

“That I love you.” she paused. “but I don’t want you to feel like it’s forced in any way.”

“I love you.” he kissed her, “and it not forced, it’s just true.”

“Nathan?” she closed her eyes.

“Yes.”

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Only if you want me to.”

“I do.” she said sleepily.

“In that case, I’ll be here. Just for you.”

“One more thing.” she said.

“What babe?”

“We won’t holding hands.”

Nathan looked at her, she was so sleepy that her eyes were already closing and her body found the best position to rest. He kissed her forehead and whispered into her ear the last words she heard before sleeping.

“We will, but just not yet.”


	15. I can be your hero

The night was a bit colder than they thought, the sun was already gone when they left the hospital. Both of them were surprised with how good they felt leaving work hand by hand.

“I won’t hold your hand.” he said, squeezing hers.

“Excuse me?” Meredith asked.

“You said, that you don’t like when someone holds your hand.” he repeated, ”what’s changed?”

Meredith stopped at once, she didn’t know what had changed. She grabbed his hand after that awful day just because she felt better when she did that. Meredith looked into his eyes, took a step toward him and after seconds their lips connected in slow kiss.

“I…I need to ask more questions like this, if this is the answer.” he said, trying to take a deep breath.

“I’m holding your hand because this was a shity day and all I wanted was to see you.” she said.

“That’s the best answer I ever heard.” he kissed her forehead. “so dinner….Are you sure you want me to meet your kids?”

“Of course! If you survived this, you will be ready for everything in this life!” she grinned.

“Now I’m scared.”

“Don’t be. I’ll protect you.” she answered, walking to the car.

****************

Meredith’s house was full. Full of people, full of noises and full of laughter. She remembered how her life looked like when she was an intern. This house always was full, but now she felt relieved when Nathan and kids got along. She was so happy that the kids liked Nathan, for a moment she was afraid that all her plans towards him would be ruined, but the kids and him were now best friends. She was looking at Nathan and Bailey who were sitting and talking about sports car, while she was washing dishes.

“Is he staying tonight?” Maggie asked.

“Uhm, yes. Of course if you don’t mind.” Meredith answered without looking at her sister.

“I don’t. He really like kids.”

“Yeah.” Meredith nodded.

Nathan looked at both woman standing in the kitchen. He really enjoyed playing with Bailey and having a small talk with Zola. He was hoping that they liked him too. After a few hours of playing and running through the house, all of Meredith children slept like puppies.

“Were you scared?” she asked.

“Of what?”

“That my kids wouldn’t like you. That you and me and Maggie wouldl be awkward. ”she counted, while they were going upstairs.

“I was scared that you’d throw me out after we had sex.”

“Who told you?”

“About the poor guy you kicked from your room?”

“Amelia.” she said.

“Maggie. Well, Zola started so..”

“Oh my God. I’ll never kick you out. I mean I could, but no.”

“That’s very good.” he said, pulling her to his body. “because I have plans for tonight.”

He looked into her eyes once more, without a rush he touched her lips with his. They stood in front of Meredith’s room, holding each other in tight embrace. They pushed the door and took a few steps toward the bed. After seconds they both were laying on the bed, their bodies laced in one.

****************

“Good morning sunshine.” he kissed her lips.

“Good morning.” she answered sleepily.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, weaving his fingers in her hair.

“Good and you?” she looked at the clock. “Oh my God! It’s so late!”

Meredith jumped from the bed as fast as she could. She tried to find her clothes, but after yesterday’s night it was harder than she thought. Meredith’s thoughts were spinning and she couldn’t focus on anything. She had an extremely important operation, rescheduled about five times and she couldn’t do it once again. The other problem were her kids, who probably were not ready. 

“Hey! Hey!.” Nathan was already dressed. “why are you so stressed?”

“I have an important operation and my kids aren’t ready. I can’t be late, but I will because I need to drop them at school which is impossible in 30 minutes.” she answered at one breath.

“Relax. I’ll drive them to school. I’m ready. Just tell me where and I’ll do it okay?”

“Are you serious?” Meredith grinned.

“Of course! I’ll tell them and you just prepare for work.” he kissed her forehead.

Meredith stood in her room, watching when he left. She sat on the bed and after seconds she finally understood how lucky she was, having that guy by her side.

*******

The day was sunny and for a first time that week Meredith had some time to catch up with charts. She sat in one of the nurse rooms and started that boring work. She hadn’t seen Nathan since they talked in her house. She knew the kids were at school, but he must be very busy if he didn’t find her earlier.

She was just about to start when she heard a loud noise coming from the next door room. Meredith left her things, walked into the tiny space and looked around, but the room was so dark she couldn’t see anything except her shoes. Suddenly she felt hot hand grabbing her from behind. She couldn’t move or speak when she felt the sharp object near her throat.

“Don’t try to scream or I’ll use this.” she saw a shiny sharp object in his hand.

Meredith felt like all her strength leave her body, she tried to move gently, without any fast movement. She knew what that man wanted, his hands were shaking and he couldn’t speak properly. Drugs. The only thing that was important for him was drugs, not her, not the mother of three. Meredith tried to think straight, she just need to give him pills and he’d leave and this would be just a nightmare.

“Drugs are in the next room, we just need to go out and you’ll get what you want.”

“Good girl.” he touched her hair with other hand. “give me what I want and I’m gone.”

They moved slowly through the hallway, only few steps separated them from the goal when they both heard the loud voice.

“Excuse me sir! You should be in bed.”

Meredith already knew who it was, she heard that voice millions of times and she still felt shivers when she heard it. She was woken up by this voice and for the first time she would do anything not to listen to it now. Both of them turned to Nathan, after seconds Meredith understood what was going to happen. He’d try to save her, he always needed to be a hero even if it risked his life. Meredith looked into Nathan’s icy blue eyes, which now were dark, like ocean in the storm.

“What do you want?” he asked quietly.

“I’ll get it from this nice lady.” the man whispered to Meredith’s ear.

“What do you want!” Nathan asked louder.

“Drugs. I want drugs!”

“I’ll give you them, if you let her go.”

“Oh we have prince Charming here.” the man laughed,”so tell me why she can’t bring it to me?”

“Because I want her to be safe. I don’t care what you do with me, she needs to be safe.”

“Oh, it’s sweet, but I like her already so don’t move or I’ll cut that pretty face.”

“I’ll go with you. You need to get out of here somehow right?”

“Nathan!” Meredith’s voice came out.

“Be quiet!” the man said with anger. “your boyfriend wants to make a deal.”

“I’ll go with you and she will stay here. I know some of the shortcuts here. We’ll make it fast.”

“Deal, but don’t be stupid. I have also this little thing to make you cooperate.” he showed a little gun in his hand. “Come here!”

********

Meredith ran to the hall, she couldn’t breath and for one moment she thought she’d pass out before she brought back the help. That man was serious and for another second all she couldn’t think about was how stupid Nathan was to do this.

“Nathan…he…..the man….gun…” she tried to take a deep breath.

“Mer, what happened?” Maggie asked.

“He took Nathan with him…”

“Who? Who took Nathan?”

“The guy who wants drugs….He has a gun and a knife.”

“Where did you see them exactly?” Webber asked quickly.

“West wing. I was about to work on my charts and I heard a noise and that guy was in the storage. Later he took me and I was going to give him what he wanted, but Nathan showed up. If he kills him, it will be my fault.” she cover her head with her hands.

“We’ll help him. Stay here.” Webber sat her on the chair. “We need security guards from all the floors.”

“Do you want something to drink?” Maggie asked gently.

“I want Nathan!” Meredith answered, starting to cry.

*******

They were going to the east wing of the hospital. The hallways were darker, more scary and for a second Nathan couldn’t find the right door. When he did found the room with all drugs, pills and other stuff, he knew it wouldn’t be easy to stay alive. Not with this crazy guy holding a gun near his head. He stood near the door, while the man searched through the cabinets. Nathan knew that it wouldn’t take long, he was like a kid in sweet shop and sooner or later he would find the best candy. The doctor took a step toward the man who wanted to hurt Meredith. All he could think about was her scared face when he touched her. He ran to him and before he knew it, the loud sound spread in the room.

**********

The loud, empty sound coming from the east wing. Meredith listened to what came next. If it’s someone to look after? If someone is alive and need their help or it’s the moment where everything is falling apart and she’s alone again. She stood there like it was just a movie and she was playing the hard role of a girl who was rescued by her man and now needed to say goodbye to her love, which hadn’t even bloomed yet. Meredith stood there, supported by Maggie’s arm. Suddenly time stopped and she heard that amazing sound. She closed her eyes so she could hear it even louder. Meredith opened her eyes just when he was heading to her.

She released from Maggie’s tight embrace and ran to Nathan. When she at last was in his arms, she felt like home. He was her home and nothing would change that.

“You idiot!” she screamed after moment. “You could die!!”

“But I didn’t. That’s how heroes are welcomed?” Nathan grinned.

“You are not a hero! You are an idiot! You could die and leave me here alone.”

“But I didn’t.” he repeated.

“You are so lucky! If you were dead, I would kill you!” she gave him a small smile.

“Maybe instead of killing me…you will kiss me?”

Meredith took a step toward him, she looked up so their eyes could finally meet. She grabbed his face with her hand. The feeling of united lips overwhelmed them both.

“Never. Ever play a hero for me.”

“I’ll always be your hero Meredith. If something happened to you, if that guy hurt you…”he closed his fist with anger. 

“He didn’t. I could kill you.” she put her head on his chest.

“You saved me.” he hugged her tight. “not only today.”

“We saved each other much earlier.” she said, kissing his lips.


	16. Oh, baby

Meredith was kneeling in front of the toilet for almost twenty minutes. She was already tired of returning all the food she ate. Mer put her head on her hands and tried not to think about what that day would bring to her. Her relationship with Nathan was a mess, after Megan returned everything changed. She didn’t even know if they were together. Meredith opened her eyes after a moment. She felt another part of nausea coming to her. 

***

Amelia was standing in front of the bathroom for some time. She heard all of it. She and Mer should be on their way to work already. Amelia tried to avoid coming into her sister-in-law’s way, but she couldn’t be late. Again.

“Meredith are you okay?” she asked softly.

“Yes. Give me a sec.”

“We are already late.” Amelia looked at the door.

“We can go now.” Meredith said, opening the door.

“God. Are you sure you can go to work today?” Amelia said, worried.

“It’s just a flu or food poisoning, I think.”

“Well, you look…bad.”

“I feel like shit, to be honest, but I can’t stay. Owen will be with his sister and Nathan…”

“You and Nathan…?”

“Me and Nathan… it’s complicated. We need to go now.”

“Mer…is it possible that it’s not the flu?” Amelia asked.

Meredith’s eyes became bigger, she didn’t even think about the possibility of being pregnant. They tried to be careful, but she could remember herself their wild nights. She tried not to think about it and focused on survived that day.

Meredith looked at Amelia and tried to remember herself when they were so close like now. Meredith took her jacket and gazed at the brunette.

“I need to take a test.” she looked at Amelia, “can you help me, when you have some time today?”

“Yes.” she answered, squeezing her arm.

****

Meredith was sitting in the cafeteria when Amelia sat in front of her. They had already taken a blood test and all Mer could think about was the result.

“They’ll make it quick, maybe at the end of the day.”

“End of the day!”, Mer shouted, “that’s not quick at all.”

“Well. Second option was two weeks from now.”

“Sorry. You helped a lot. Thank you.”

“No problem.” Amelia looked at Mer’s plate. “What are you eating?”

“Chocolate cake. Well, third slice, but I’m hungry.” she shrugged.

“Mer, I think we already know the result.” Amelia said, looking at her.

Meredith looked straight into Amelia’s eyes, she knew that too, she was pregnant with the baby of a guy whose fiance was found on the desert. Meredith closed her eyes trying to calm her nausea. The best part of it was that she would have surgery soon which might make her busy, the worst part was the surgeon who assisted her. Soon she would be in the same room with the father of her potential baby.

****

The surgery lasted for about two hours now, even though it had helped, Meredith’s distraction wasn’t disappearing. She tried to focus on what she was doing, but Nathan wasn’t helping at all.

“Do you have plans for today?” he asked.

“No, not really.” she answered politely. “How is Megan?”

“Good. I mean she needs to get used to a normal life. Owen helps her a lot.”

“And…you? Does she remember you?” she asked him, looking at her patient.

“Yes. She remembers everything. Even the fact that I cheated on her, so…”

“So sorry to hear that.” her stomach took a turn.

“It’s okay. The most important thing is she’s alive, safe and that she is with her family.”

Meredith looked at him once more, his light blue eyes were shining, she was happy and sad at one seeing him like that. Megan was the love of his life, she had disappeared and now came back. She closed her eyes for a moment, knowing that he was already taken, even if he didn’t know that yet. Meredith opened her eyes and after a moment she felt like her head was spinning. Her body shivered and she couldn’t help it. Meredith looked at Nathan, but he was a blurr. The last thing she remembered was the light of surgery room and the pain in the back when she hit the floor.

****

The room was too bright for her, even if she was already awake, her body and eyes wanted to sleep. She looked around at the room, she was connected to machines which monitored her. At once she remembered herself what happened in surgery room,after a moment the door opened slowly.

“How are you feeling?” Amelia asked.

“Good, I think. How is my patient?”

“Nathan took care of him.” she smiled, “I have the results.”

“I’m pregnant.” Meredith said.

“You’re pregnant.” Amelia nodded. “Are you…are you and Nathan?”

“Like I said before it’s complicated. I don’t know if we are a couple. I don’t know if he wants to be with me or Megan. I can’t tell him.”

“You must tell him. He has the right to know.”

“Even if he wants to be with Megan? You didn’t see him when I told him about her. He was so happy.”

“You think he won’t be happy if he finds out that you are pregnant?”

“He will, but I want to wait and see if Megan….”

The door opened with a click, Nathan looked straight at Meredith.

“Are you alright? I was worried, no one has ever passed out by just talking with me.” he smiled.

“You can tell yourself that this was the reason.”

“I need to go, I have things to do.” Amelia said, looking at them flirting.

Meredith tried not to look at him, he was worried about her and it was even harder. She should just ask him, a simple question could help her get the truth. The problem was, she didn’t want to ask him to choose. She was afraid that he chose Megan and that could break her heart.

“Did you take the tests?”

“It’s just the flu or food poisoning.”

“I wanted to talk to you, that’s why I asked what you’re doing tonight.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“If you want to and are feeling better.”

“Yes. We need to talk. 8pm? My place?” Mer proposed.

“Yes. See you then.”

After he left Meredith felt that again, she was afraid of what he wanted to say. She was afraid that another baby would be raised without the father. Meredith took a deep breath and put her hand on her belly.

“We will see how it goes.” she caressed it gently.

*****

Meredith was sitting on the sofa when she heard the doorbell. After she left the hospital with the results in her hand, the thoughts were running through her head. Now, when she knew a hundred percent she was pregnant, she was even more scared. Her kids, Amelia and Maggie were at the cinema so the house was half empty. She stood up, took a few steps toward the door, Mer took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hi!” Nathan started.

“Hi. Come in.”

“I have something for you.” he gave her red tulips.

“Thank you.” she felt tears in eyes. “Fucking hormones.” she whispered to herself.

“You said something?” he asked.

“No. You want something to drink?”

“Meredith, the thing with Megan…”

“Coffee?” she tried to leave the room.

Nathan grabbed her wrist and pushed her gently so she needed to sit on the sofa. He touched her cheek and started to talk.

“I want to say that Megan and I….that we….she doesn’t want me. She went through too much that she isn’t ready for any relationship. Especially with me.”

“I’m so sorry.” Meredith said.

“Don’t be. I didn’t come here to talk about it. I’m here because I want to know if you still want to build something with me.”

Meredith looked into his eyes, he was honest, she knew that. Her head spinned again, she closed her eyes to calm herself. When she opened them, Nathan stared at her.

“I need to tell you something. I don’t know how to say that and it’s so freaking hard that I don’t know how to start.”

“Mer, just tell me.” he squeezed her hand.

“I did a test today. I know why I passed out.”

“Mer, in a minute I will have heart attack. Just tell me.”

“I’m…I know it’s too soon…I don’t know if you want this…” she paused, looking at him, “I’m pregnant.”

Nathan’s eyes never been bigger, he took a deep breath and after seconds he started to laugh. He laughed so hard that Meredith was wondering if he was okay.

“Are you okay?” she asked confused.

“Oh God yes! I was waiting for Megan to come back for almost ten years. I thought that it would be the only thing that made me happy. I thought that I would never have a family, friends or a baby. Now you are telling me that amazing news. I’m so happy that we will have a baby!!” he touched her belly.

“I was so scared. I didn’t want to make you choose between me and Megan. It wouldn’t be fair.”

Nathan got closer to her, touched her cheek and after seconds their lips connected in sweet kiss. He put his hand on her stomach again. Nathan got closer to it and said:

“You don’t know me, but I’m your dad. We will play soccer or I will drive you to dance classes.”

Meredith listened to those words, all the scary feelings she had disappeared like a bad dream. She caressed his hair when he talked to their unborn baby. Mer found herself on the sofa. She knew that their future will be filled with ups and downs, they had each other, they had kids and what was most important, the past was already behind them.


	17. Miracle dream

“Don’t do that. If this were Derek, I’d already be gone.” the words were echoing in her head. Meredith was standing in the kitchen, feeding her kids when the door opened, she looked at Amelia, trying to come to the house silently.

“Hi.” Mer said, putting the dirty dishes in the sink.

“Hi, sorry I thought I’d be back earlier.”

“It’s okay. How is…” Mer paused in a moment, “she.”

“PTSD, lots of bruises, wounds…outside and inside.”

“She needs some time, she has Owen, her mom and…Nathan.”

“When is uncle Nathan coming in for to play?” Bailey asked, looking at his mom.

“I don’t know sweetie, he is very busy.”

“Okay, maybe he’ll come later, can I call him?”

“Later, now you need to get dressed. Go.”

Amelia and Meredith were looking at the little guy, who was trying to put on his shoes. Meredith took a step toward Amelia, she looked at her sister-in-law and after seconds she finally spoke.

“Did Owen let Nathan talk to her?”

“Yes. He helped her a bit with things she couldn’t remember. He is very caring, but I think she treats him more like friend than a lover or fiance.”

“I see. Okay….I need to drive kids to school. Later I have surgery so you will have some time to rest.”

“Thanks.” Amelia looked at Meredith who tried to find keys, “Meredith.”

“Yes?”

“He’s so happy seeing her alive, but he was happier being with you.”

“Thank you.” Meredith answered, leaving the house.

***

Meredith was so distracted that for a moment she was wondering if she should go home in order not to harm any patient. She knew exactly where Owen put his sister. She was in room 200, in front of nurse station so someone had eyes on her all the time. Meredith couldn’t pass by it, she needed something from there, but the vision of Megan Hunt scared her. She stood nearby for a moment when Owen showed up.

“Hey!”

“Hey.” she replied.

“Can I ask you a favor?” Owen asked.

“Yeah sure, I’m free for now.”

“Could you please stay with Megan? She’s bored and I need to be back in the ER. My mom will be here any minute, but I don’t want to leave her alone.”

“Yes, of course.” Mer answered.

“Why the hell do I need to be so polite sometimes?” were the words running through her head when she entered the room of Megan Hunt.

***

Meredith looked at the woman lying in the bed, her light red hair was spread on the pillow, she was looking through the window when she heard them entering the room. Mer looked straight into her eyes, they were icy blue just like Owen’s, she stopped staring at Megan and after seconds she finally spoke.

“I’m Meredith Grey. Nice to meet you.”

“Megan. Your name is on the hospital?”

“No. It’s my sister. She’s dead.”

“So, I leave you two now. Mom will be here any minute.” Owen kissed his sister’s forehead.

“He thinks I need a nanny. I’m okay, really. It was a living hell, but now it’s okay. I’m back and that’s most important. I don’t want to go back to that again.”

“It’s understandable.” Meredith nodded.

“And I don’t want Nathan back.” Megan looked at Meredith.

“How did you..?”

“I know him. He’s happy because of me, that I’m alive and that this nightmare is over, but he doesn’t love me anymore and I, to be honest, don’t love him.”

Meredith looked at the red hair girl with big eyes, she knew that Megan could be direct, but the thing she knew about her and Nathan distracted her even more. She looked at her once again, trying to figure out what she should say, but nothing brilliant came to her mind.

“You need to rest. That talk is not for today.”

“Oh yes it is. I told it to Nathan and now I’m telling it to you. I saw too many deaths and people separated from their loved ones. I don’t want to be a part of it. If you need it, I give you two my blessing.” she smiled.

Both women were looking at each other when the door opened, Owen’s mom entered the room with all kinds of stuff a patient could wish for: books, magazines, food and drinks. She put it on a night stand, kissing her daughter. Meredith took a step back, looking at Megan once again. She was a beautiful, strong woman, who probably had seen a lot of pain in her life, just like Meredith. The doctor left the room, giving mother and daughter some space and time to catch up after almost ten years apart. Meredith headed to the on call room where she would finally have some time to think about what Megan said to her. She entered the small space, closing the door behind her.

“What are you doing here?” she heard a male voice.

“I could ask you the same thing.” she answered.

“I needed some time alone.” Nathan said.

“Me too.” she sat next to him, “I spoke with Megan.”

“Me too. She said…” he paused.

“That she is giving us her blessing.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay with that?” Mer asked.

“And you?”

“I asked first.”

“When you told me she’s alive…It was the best feeling I’ve had in a long time. I have that huge stone in my chest and it disappeared, but when I drove to see her, I realized that it might be an end for us. I don’t want that, I want to be with you, with your children, have an amazing home. So, yeah, I’m okay with what she said.”

Meredith looked at his profile, lit by the reflex of the moon, she realized that she was also miserable without that man and his sense of humor, the way he made her laugh. She got closer to him and put her head on his shoulder.

“Remember that miracle dream?” she asked, “we thought it would be the best thing that might happen to us.”

“Mine is real Meredith and I really want to give everything that it wasn’t.” he kissed her forehead.

“Since I knew about Megan to be alive….I have new one.” she whispered.

“What?”

“You.” she answered, “you came to my house and said you forgot your keys. You entered the house and kissed me and then I woke up.”

“You’re my miracle dream too, Meredith.”

“Maybe Megan is right. Maybe we need to try.”

“We will.”

“Will you come home with me today Nathan?” she asked, looking straight into his eyes.

“Yes. I will.’ he answered kissing her soft lips.

***

Meredith was watching her son playing with Nathan on the carpet, Bailey was so happy seeing uncle Nathan that he didn’t want to lose sight of him. She was still staring at them when Nathan approached.

“We need something to drink. Playing dragons isn’t that easy.” he smiled.

“Water or juice?”

“We can’t drink water mommy. We’re the dragons, we lost our fire.”

“That’s right, little man. We chose juice for today.”

“Will you stay for night?” she whispered.

“If you want me to.”

“Yes. I really want to..”

“Hurray! Uncle Nathan will stay for whole night!” Bailey shouted, “you will sleep in my room and we can play dragon’s the whole night!”

“Well, I wanted to sleep somewhere else…” Nathan said.

“With mommy?” Zola asked, walking to the kitchen.

“Well. Yes.” he blushed.

“Okay, you can sleep with mommy, but you can’t play dragons with her.” Bailey said seriously.

“I promise.” Nathan lifted his hand up.

They both looked at each other smiling, she was so happy that all her kids liked Nathan. She reached his lips and gave him a gentle kiss, watching how many fans the man had, thinking about Megan Hunt and how much happiness she had brought to Meredith’s house.


	18. Oh, baby part 2

Nathan slowly opened his eyes and turned around to start a day snuggling with Meredith. He put his hand on her side of the bed. At once he sat up on the bed and looked around, the bathroom door was the last thing he noticed. He jumped from the bed and took a few steps towards the door. He opened it slightly and saw Meredith, kneeling at the toilet. She was throwing up and he could swear she had enough of it already.

“Babe? Are you alright?” he asked.

“Are you kidding me?” she sat near the toilet.

“So sorry. Can I bring you something? Water? Something to eat?”

“No. I just want to sleep, but kids will be up soon. I need to…

Nathan took a step toward her, after a moment he sat behind her and gently squeezed her neck. She leaned up on him and after seconds she closed her eyes. He kissed her hair, trying not to break the slow massage he was doing to her.

“Do we need to go to work today?” she asked with closed eyes.

“We should, but you are pregnant so maybe Bailey will forgive us?”

“We can try.” she said, opening her eyes, “maybe the kids could stay with us? We need to tell them. At least Zola needs to know.”

“Agreed!” he kissed her slowly, still massaging her back, “but you call Bailey. She won’t yell at you.”

“Are you afraid mister Riggs?” Mer smiled.

“A little. Just a little.”

“Help me stand and I will save you from her anger.”

Nathan stood up quickly, he held her trying to lean her body onto his. When they exited the bathroom, she dialed her boss, his smile was the last thing she saw, watching him leaving.

*****

Meredith entered the room when she saw Nathan and kids eating breakfast. She was amazed how quick Nathan was with kids. They were prepared, eating their first meal of the day.

“Did Nathan told you about what we will do today?”

“No mommy.” Zola said, eating cereals.

“We all are staying at home today.”

“Can we go to the park? Or we can go to the movies?” Bailey said with excitement.

Nathan looked at Meredith and her tired face, he knew that all she wanted was to lie on the bed or watch a movie with him and kids. He put his hand on her shoulder and after exchanged looks he finally spoke to the kids.

“I have better idea. At first me and mommy have news for you. Later we’ll build a fort from cushions and blankets and later we order a pizza and eat it in the fort. What do you think about that plan?”

“YEEES.” all three of them shouted at once.

“What news do you have for us?” Bailey asked, looking at Nathan, “we will have a dog?”

“Or cat?” Zola added.

“Or hamster.” Ellis.

“No. Eat breakfast and later you’ll find out okay?” Nathan said.

Meredith was smiling observing all the situation, she knew that it wouldn’t be easy. Their kids lost so many people in their lives that she was afraid of the thought she would pay more attention to the newborn than to them. Nathan grabbed her by elbow and took her on the other side of the kitchen.

“Now, I’m the one who freaking out.” he said serious.

“I know, but there is no way back mister. We will tell them. Today.”

“Right. We have plenty of time to prepare them to the new brother.”

“Or sister.” she smiled.

“Or sister.” he put his hand on her belly, “how far along exactly?”

“Well, according to my OB…about six months.”

“Oh okay. are you ready?”

“Yes, let’s get over with.”

*****

All five of them were sitting on the couch, Meredith was so grateful that Nathan was by her side. She wanted to do this quickly so her children wouldn’t feel sad or angry.

“Zo remember when mommy…when we waited for Bailey and Ellis?” she started.

“Yes mommy. You ate a lot and you were a bit tired then.”

“Yes sweetie, well now we all will be waiting for your brother or sister.” she said slightly.

“We will have a brother? where is he?”

“In tummy.” Zola pointed on Meredith’s belly.

“Really?” Bailey made a big eyes, “can I touch it?” he took a step toward Mer.

“Of course honey. I don’t know if you’ll feel anything yet.”

Meredith felt his tiny hand on her belly, he held it some time, but after a moment he knelt at her tummy and finally spoke.

“I’m your big brother. You can’t be a girl because me and my new daddy will be alone in the house full of girls. Please be a boy.”

Meredith looked at Bailey, he was a big boy now, but she seemed not to pay attention to this. She didn’t know which words made her cry the most, the ones in which he accepted the new baby or the fact he called Nathan “new daddy”. Mer wiped out the tear falling from her eye and after a second she looked at Nathan, he was doing the same.

“Can we build the fort already?” Zola asked, looking at them.

“Yes. We will build and mommy will go upstairs. She needs some rest.”

“We will bring you some pizza mommy! We won’t eat all alone.” Ellis said.

“Thank you.” she kissed them all.

*****

Meredith lazy opened her eyes, she look around to realized where she was. She was so overwhelmed by the feelings she had after telling the pregnancy news to the children that she didn’t even knew how much time passed. When she was just about to stand up and go downstairs, she heard a gentle knock on her door.

“Mommy are you sleeping?” she heard Zola’s voice.

“No honey. Come in.”

“I want to ask you something and I have slice of pizza for you.”

“Of course you can ask me anything.”

Zola took a step towards her mom’s bed, she sat next to her, giving her a plate with pizza.

“I wanted to ask if Nathan will be mad at me?” Zola asked.

“Why sweetie? Why would Nathan be mad at you?” Mer asked, cuddling her daughter.

“Because… Bailey said that he is his new daddy and I’m…I don’t want to call him that…yet.”

“Oh sweetie. I’m sure he won’t be mad. You can call him what you want honey. He won’t be mad about it.”

“Okay. I’m feel better, I like Nathan.” Zola said, jumping from the bed. 

Meredith walked into the kitchen where her kids were eating pizza, she saw Nathan cleaning Ellis’ face from pizza sauce and something in her knew that he would be the best dad she could wish for her kids. Mer sat in front of Nathan and smiled, after he kissed her forehead she put another slice of pizza on her plate. She didn’t know how happy she was having Nathan by her side. Now she was a hundred percent sure they would be happy with all their kids.


	19. When a man loves a woman

The room was already dark when he rolled over again, he wasn’t used to sleeping in her house, in her bed. After he rolled again, he looked at the woman who was sleeping next to him. Nathan looked at her pale skin lit by the reflex of the moon, he fought the desire to touch her, her locks of hair spread on the pillow had a scent of lavender and even if he wanted to caress them, he didn’t want to wake her up. After a few moments he realised that he not only loved Meredith, but also her kids and crazy sisters. He pulled himself up a bit and whispered.

“I love you Meredith Grey, I love every part of you, even the ones that are dark and twisty, I love them too.” he ended, kissing her forehead.

***  
Meredith woke up just before her alarm went on, she didn’t remember when was the last time she was so relaxed and calm. She turned to the right side of the bed, Nathan’s side, but he wasn’t there. She jumped from the bed and put on her slippers and one of her silky dressing-gowns. After few steps, as she made her way toward the stairs, Meredith already heard the voice of her children and Nathan making breakfast.

“Mommy! We made pancakes!” Bailey shouted from the kitchen.

“Pancakes!” Ellis repeated, with her mouth full of food.

“Will Mommy also eat pancakes or does she want only coffee and toasts?” Nathan asked, kissing her lips.

“Pancakes would be great.” she answered, sitting next to Zola. “Zola, won’t you eat breakfast?” she asked.

“I’m not hungry. Can I go now?”

“Yes, if you don’t want to eat.” Meredith said, looking at her daughter.

“Girls make fun of her at school. That’s why she doesn’t want to eat.” Bailey said, chewing his pancake.

“Why?” Meredith asked her son.

“Because we don’t have a daddy and on Saturday there is a prom where girls go with their daddies.” he explained.

“Oh my God. I forgot about it. She doesn’t even have a dress.” Meredith jumped from the chair.

“Stop. You will eat it and I’ll talk to her.” Nathan said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” he passed by her, kissing her forehead. “I have the day off today, I’ll drive the kids to school and later go with Zo to buy the dress.”

“Can you buy a dress for a girl?” Meredith asked surprised.

“There are some things you don’t know about me, babe.”

***

Nathan gently knocked to Zola’s door, she was lying on the bed, holding her favorite toy. He sat on the edge of the bed and after few moments, finally spoke.

“When I was little my dad died. There was a dad’s-son’s event, I really wanted to go there, but I thought that if I went with my mom’s new friend, I would betray him.” he finished his sentence, looking at Zola.

“Bailey told you about the girls.”

“Yes.”

“I really want to go, but I thought that…that you wouldn’t want to go with me. You don’t have to do this, you like our mom, but that doesn’t mean you must like us.”

“Zola. I never had children in my life, I can make mistakes because I’m new to this, but never, ever say that I don’t love you or your siblings because it isn’t true.”

“Really?”

“Really, and since I have day off and your mother said yes, we will go shopping, you help me find a perfect suit and I will try to help you with the dress.” he smiled.

“Yes!” she shouted, falling into his arms.

****

“How did it go?” Meredith asked.

“We talked and Zola decided to invite me to the prom. We’re going shopping today.”

“You are amazing!” she said, kissing his lips.

“Can we talk when I get back from the prom?” he asked seriously.

“Yes,” Meredith nodded, “but it doesn’t mean you want to dump me?” she asked.

“No it doesn’t.” he pulled her closer.

Nathan looked into her eyes again, he perfectly knew what he wanted to say, he did that when she was asleep, but now with her by his side it was harder than he thought. Nathan pulled her once again and after a moment their lips met with a sweet kiss before work. Meredith looked at him and few seconds later she was on her way to work, thinking about how the two of them would buy a dress for a little girl.

****  
“I want a pink or a blue dress with a bow.” Zola said, holding his hand.

“Your wish is my command, princess.” he smiled.

“Can we go for ice cream later?”

“If we have enough time. We need to go for Bailey and Elis.”

“It’s good that we bought your suit already.” she giggles.

“I think so too.”

****  
Meredith opened the door after 8 hours of work, she was exhausted like it had been a 24 hour shift, the patients, nurses and Nathan’s absence made her day really hard. She left her things near the door, waiting for her children’s raised voice, but to her surprise she didn’t hear anything. She took a few steps toward her living room and after a second she looked at the floor, where all her children were sitting around the table. Zola was doing her homework, Bailey was playing with his toys and Nathan tried to convince Ellis to eat her apple. Meredith took a step back and tried to stop her tears from falling from her eyes. For the first time since Derek’s death, she knew that her children were happy.

“Hi kids!”

“Mommy!” they all shouted at once.

“Mommy you need to see my dress, it’s pink and it has a bow and the sparkles, I have new shoes too!”

“And I have a new toy too!” Bailey said.

“Apple.” Ellis added.

“You robbed the bank or did you go to work when I was away?”

“Nathan bought it for us.” Zola said.

“He did?” she looked at him, “so you were the one who robbed the bank.”

“Just wait till you see her dress.” he smiled, kissing her softly.

Meredith looked at her daughter with a smile on her little face. Zola almost ran to her room to put on her new dress, when she finally came out to show herself, Meredith couldn’t help holding her breath for a moment.

The long puffy dress with a bow on her back was shining from little diamonds on her top. Every time Zola made a move the dress rustled, making the girl more happier.

“Zola you look amazing.” Meredith said with tears in her eyes.

“Thank you mom. Nathan has a matching tie!”

“You will wear pink tie?” Meredith teased.

“Not only pink, but with diamonds on it.” he answered.

“Thank you.” she said soundless.

“You welcome.” he answered in the same tone.

***

Meredith sat down on her cream sofa, she was tired, but so happy that they already left. Zola was so happy and excited that after dinner she didn’t talk about anything else. Meredith helped Nathan to prepare himself, he looked so handsome even if he wore a pink, shiny tie. When they both were ready, she hugged her daughter and took some photos to remember how happy she was in her puffy dress, holding Nathan’s arm. Meredith lay down and closed her eyes. She was so tired that she totally forgot about the talk Nathan wanted to have when they came back.

*****

Nathan entered the room with Zola in his arms, he was carrying her from the car, they were supposed to be back about two hours ago, but the prom went so well that they both didn’t want to leave. When he entered, he looked around, checking if Meredith was still up. He saw her lying on the sofa. He decided to put Zola to sleep and later went back for her mother.

****

“You’re already back?” Meredith asked sleepily.

“Yes, it’s almost midnight.” he answered, lifting her up.

“Did Zola have a good time?”

“We both did.” he smiled, carrying her to the bed.

“You wanted to talk.” she woke up a little.

“You are too sleepy for that, babe.”

“I’m awake now.” she sat on the bed, watching Nathan taking off his shirt. “I want to talk.” she said.

“I wanted to say something very important for me and I thought for you too.”

“Nathan, you’re scaring me.”

“I love you, I love you from here to the moon and back, I love your kids and if you ever, ever want to leave me, please let me see your kids.”

Meredith looked at him with wild opened eyes, she moved closer to him and touched her forehead with his, before she opened her eyes and looked into his blue ones. Meredith kissed him slowly with a passion they never felt before. When she was already in his arms, she finally took a deep breath and spoke.

“I love you too and I promise that you will be always someone important in my….our children’s life.” she said, looking straight into his eyes.

“You are the most important people in my life, Meredith.”

“You are important for us too, Nathan.”

After couple of minutes in his arms, Meredith closed her eyes,once again enjoying the amazing feeling of being in right place, exactly where she belonged, with a person she truly and madly loved.


	20. Surrounded by silence

Meredith was walking through the corridor, she was so tired that all she wanted was to go to sleep, preferably in Nathan’s arms. She took off her shoes and jacket and when she was just about to walk to her bedroom, she heard the silent voice coming from the room, Meredith couldn’t get nearer and she heard only half of the conversation, but it was enough to make her feel concerned.

“Yes, I know that she will be here soon. No, I didn’t….I know what I’m doing, I love her and that’s should be enough for you. I’ll take care of her as soon as she arrives. Need to go.”

Meredith heard the click that ended the call, she didn’t know whom Nathan was talking about, but she couldn’t just run from her own house. After seconds of thinking she decided not to ask about that call, it was his problem and he would share it with her when was ready. Meredith pushed the bedroom door and walked to the room, she threw her things on the floor and took a few steps to Nathan, he was surprised when she grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her, crushing his lips with hers. After a moment, that mystery conversation disappeared from her mind.

*****

“Did you see Meredith?” Amelia asked.

“Who?” Nathan answered distractedly, looking at his phone.

“Your girlfriend…blond, pretty nice ass.” Amelia grinned.

“Oh, sorry. No I didn’t see her.”

“Everything is okay?”

“Yes.”

“We have a bus crash, are you coming?” Maggie asked, interrupting them.

“How many victims?” Amelia asked.

“Seven, broken legs, bruises and one girl is very stimulated, she can be on drugs.”

“Nathan you go to the ER, Meredith is waiting there with that girl, and we’ll go to the OR.”

“I’m on it.” he said before he left the room.

******

Nathan entered the room, putting his gloves on, he was very distracted and in some way all he could think about was how to leave this place. He felt tired because his past was coming after him, he didn’t want Meredith to find out about him, not now, not when they were building something good. He took a step toward the bed, where a girl with red, curly hair fought with Mer and the nurses.

“Calm down! We just want to help you!” one of the nurses shouted.

“Maybe I can help.” Nathan said, smiling to Mer.

“Yes, please. She will hurt herself if she doesn’t stop.”

Nathan looked at the girl on the bed, she was still fighting like they wanted to hurt her, but instead of grabbing her hands into belts, he put his hand on her shoulder. The girl looked up and when their eyes met Nathan’s voice became a whisper.

“Nessie.”

“You know her?” Meredith asked, confused.

“Yes, she’s my daughter.” he answered, looking straight into the girl’s blue eyes.

After those few words the whole ER became silent, they didn’t know anything about Nathan’s past life, but no one could guess that he had a daughter. Even Owen, who was now looking from Meredith to Nathan, couldn’t be more surprised. 

*****

“You have a daughter?” Meredith asked, looking at him.

“Yes. She’s 15. I adopted her when she was 5.”

“You adopted a daughter and you didn’t tell me anything until she showed up in the hospital?” Meredith screamed.

“She isn’t a normal teenager. She’s mute, she has never talked. Her parents, Ben and Ryan, they are dead. Car crash. I pay for her school, she is very talented, she can draw everything just by looking at it, but she doesn’t talk. We always spend vacations together.” he looked at Mer, “I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how.” he ended, going to his daughter.

*****

Nathan entered the room where Vanessa was drawing something on a piece of paper she got from the nurse. She was calmer now and they didn’t need the belts anymore. He sat on the edge of the bed and touched her shoulder. She looked at him just the way she knew that he screw some things up.

Since the day Ryan and Ben had died, he felt that two months a year weren’t too long to raise the child, but Vanessa was a problematic kid. She was one of the best students in her school, even if her character was, he could say, problematic after her mother. She never called him for help. First five years of her life were like an adventure for her, she was born in the jungle, where her parents were working in a small hospital. They were helping everyone who needed, but one day they just didn’t come back from a home visit. Their car was swept away by avalanche in a mountain. He remembered how he’d had to say it to Nessie, she was calmer than he thought, she didn’t cry even when she needed to move to a city she didn’t know. Nathan knew that she wouldn’t be happy with him by her side, he asked her if she wanted something else in life and she said him what she wanted. The best art school in Los Angeles. He paid for it and spent all vacations with her, Vanessa Keeton was happy and that was all he wanted. After seconds he felt her hand on his.

“Why didn’t you text me?” he asked.

She made some moves in sign language, he knew it enough to understand what she meant.

“Suprise? Sweetie, you could’ve died there. I could have lost you.”

Vanessa looked straight into his eyes, she moved a little to him and put her head on his shoulder. She always did that when she wanted to apologize, Nessie knew how he felt now. Nathan pulled her head up so she could see his frown.

“Promise me that you will never do this again.”

“Promis.” she said soundless, “dad?”

“Yes?”

“Is it your girlfriend?” she asked in sign language.

“Meredith Grey. Yes she is.”

“She doesn’t know about me?” Nessie looked at her hands.

“Now, she does. I want you to meet her, but I don’t know if it’s good time.” he said to her.

“Okay. I will be back home as soon as I get out from here.”

“No you’re not. You promised me two months of vacations. You can’t leave.” he smiled.

“Okay.” she hugged him tighter.

*****

After two days Vanessa was ready to leave, her things were already packed and they were just about to go to Nathan’s home when suddenly Meredith came to the room. She looked at Nathan and later her sight slipped to Vanessa.

“I was wondering if you wanted…” she started, “we have movie night and maybe you wanted to join us.”

“Us?” Nessie asked in sign language.

“Yes, I have three children.” she answered.

“Would you like to come?” Nathan asked Vanessa.

“Yes. It’s your family, you have four children now.” the girl smiled, “but they will be afraid of me.”

“No they won’t.” Nathan said, kissing Vanessa’s forehead.

“So, let’s go. We need to pick some movies.” Mer said, looking at Nathan.

*****

Meredith’s children were already in front of the TV when they arrived home. Their nanny left as soon as they came in, so the house were finally theirs. Vanessa took a step toward Zola and shook her hand.

“I’m Vanessa, but you can calm me Nessie.”

“She said…” Nathan started.

“I know what she said, I have a friend who can’t speak either in my class.” Zola answered, “you want to sit next to me? Bailey always talks when we’re watching a movie and I can’t focus.”

“Yeah sure.”

“Draw.” Ellis said, standing in front of Nessie.

“You want me to draw something for you?”

“Mhm. Pony.”

“Okay.” she nodded.

“We will bring some popcorn and you start the movie.” Meredith said, taking Nathan’s hand.

Meredith and Nathan were standing in the kitchen, looking at their children. She still held his hand without any good reason, but he didn’t mind it. They knew each other so well that the whole situation, his secret daughter and her reaction about her were already behind them. Meredith took his face into her hands and pulled it closer to her lips, after a moment they were kissing like teenagers, then one of the children came in.

“Mommy, the popcorn is burning!” Bailey shouted.

That was the only reason they broke their kiss so fast. While Nathan was trying to rescue the popcorn, Meredith looked at Vanessa, she was smiling at her, like they already knew each other. Meredith understood that she was just a teenager who wanted her father to be happy. Meredith took the phone in her hand and looked at Nathan’s face.

“We need to order a pizza.” she said, dialing the number.

“Yes we do.”

“Mommy!” Ellis shouted, pulling Meredith’s trousers. “Pony!”

Meredith looked at the drawing, it was so beautiful that Meredith couldn’t speak for a moment. She looked at Nessie and looked straight into her blue eyes.

“Thank you.” Meredith said, soundless.

“Thank you.” Vanessa answered that same.


	21. Give me love

48 before the wedding

“You said that they will bring those flowers!” Meredith screamed.

“I know, but they thought the date was different…” Amelia answered quickly. 

“But you said it was on July 28th?”

“Yes.”

“And they said yes?”

“Well, they thought it will be next year or something. It’s not my fault that you decided to get married after a week of engagement!”

“We decided and a year??”

“Yeah. I will find a way I promise.”

Meredith looked at her wedding dress hanging on the closet. She knew that she made a good decision, but the universe wanted to bring her back to reality. Meredith was ready for this, wedding, reception and even for bouquet. She hadn’t had all that when she married Derek, but here it feels right. After a moment of staring at the dress, she heard quiet knock. 

“I heard about flowers, but don’t worry red velvet cake will be on time.” Maggie said, smiling.

“Red velvet?”

“Yeah, just like you both wanted.”

“We said that we hate red velvet.” Meredith said, laying on the bed.

****

24 hours till the wedding

“If we don’t do something, she will call it off.” Amelia said.

“We don’t have power to bring those fucking flowers or cake. But you’re right. I want her to be happy.” Maggie answered.

“So, you’re not mad?”

“About what?”

“Her and Nathan….”

“Nope. I want her to be happy. That’s all I care about.”

“Me too.” Amelia said, “If so, we need to find flowers, even if I need to steal them.”

“I’m with you, sister.”Maggie said, calling the next flower shop.

*****

A few hours before wedding

“Meredith?” Amelia asked, sticking her head in the room.

“Yeah.”

“We have …”

“A problem. What next? He runs away? The roof falls? What?!”

“Bailey and Ellis. They tried some cake.”

Amelia launched two of Mer’s kids to the room, they were covered with red cream and some white frosting on their faces. Meredith looked at both of her children and for the first time she wanted to lock herself here and cry. She looked at Amelia and after seconds she took her kids to the bathroom, leaving Mer a paper bag if she hyperventilated for a moment. 

Grey sat on the bed in her cream, short, laced dress and took a few deep breaths. She wore her high heels shoes with little blue roses on it and took a walk in the room. Meredith didn’t know if she can handle any other disasters that day.

She was sitting on the white sofa, trying to breathe in and out of a bag Amelia gave her. Everything in that day was just a mess and she couldn’t stop thinking she will make a huge mistake. Making Amelia and Maggie her bridesmaids was even worse, they tried to be supportive, but Meredith knew it’s not their fault that this day fell apart, including her. Meredith stood up and took a few steps toward the doors, she want to call it off, she didn’t want to get married when nothing is like should be. She was just about to grab a handle when she heard Nathan’s voice behind the door.

“Are you there?” he asked.

“Yes. I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” he asked, “did you change your mind?”

“No, but nothing is going like it should be. We don’t have flowers, Bailey and Ellis are all over in our cake and God the cake is just a mess, we both don’t like red velvet. Amelia and Maggie try to support me, but it’s too much for them too.”

“Meredith,” Nathan said slowly, putting his hand into door hole so she can grab it, “I’m not marrying flowers, cake or your freaking out sisters. I want to marry you. Only you. We can run away from here and go to Las Vegas or just tell all those people that there won’t be any cake or flowers. It’s up to you. I’m here to marry you and I’ll be here when you decide to go out.”

“Close your eyes.” she said.

Meredith went out and looked at her future husband, he looked handsome in a dark suit with a blue tie and a matching flower. She took a step towards him and crushed her lips to his, slowly. Passionate kiss was so overwhelming for Nathan, that he had a problem with balance. He smiled, with eyes still closed and Meredith’s hands in his.

“I’ll be right there. Give me five minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting.” he smiled, letting her go.

****

“Meredith,” she heard Maggie’s voice.

“Yes. What now?”

“We’re ready. We’ll be waiting for you.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Meredith stood in the middle of the room, trying to remind herself how much he loved that man. She really does, the way he makes her laugh, how he loves her kids and how much he sacrificed to be with her. Meredith opened her eyes and took her little bouquet, which she was sure Amelia stole from the other wedding, and left the room. Next thing she did was marry the love of her life.

****

Nathan was watching while Meredith walked down the aisle. She was gorgeous in this short dress and spark in her eyes made him feel amazing, too. He looked around, they didn’t have any flowers, except the tiny bouquet she held in her hands, the cake was a mess and Bailey and Ellis had some red cream in their hair, but he didn’t care. He was so happy that he couldn’t stop smiling and for the first time he felt that warmth in his heart. The happiness which will be always with him from now on.

“You look stunning.” he whispered when she stood next to him.

“You look handsome, too.” she answered.

“Can we start?” the priest asked both of them.

“Yes.” they said at once.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God to join this man, and this woman in holy matrimony. Now we will listen the vows.” he finished.

“I, Nathan, take you, Meredith, as my wife, to share my life with you, and pledge that I will love, honor, and care for you in tenderness and affection in all the varying circumstances of our lives.“ he said, putting a ring on her finger.

“I, Meredith, take you, Nathan, as my husband. I promise to always be there for you, to shelter and hold your love as the most precious gift in my life. I will be truthful and honor you. I will care for you always and stand by you in times of sorrow and joy.” she ended, putting the wedding ring on his finger.

“Now you can kiss the bride.” the priest said, looking at them.

Nathan took a step toward Meredith, he held her waist and pulled her body to him, not knowing that that kiss will be different in so many ways than any of the others before. He gently touched her lips with his, closed his eyes and, for one moment, he felt like they were alone there, only two of them, kissing. Suddenly, he heard voices of people who came to celebrate that time, that love, with them. Nathan looked at his beautiful wife, still holding her in his arms.

“It doesn’t look like a fairy tale.” she said.

“It does to me. I have my princess, you have flowers, well a bit of them, and your kids have never been so happy, but I bet it’s because of the sugar.”

“You’re right.” she said, hugging him tighter,” you are my fairy tale.” she whispered.

“And you are mine.”


	22. Race with the past

Meredith was sitting in one of the exam rooms, she liked finishing the paperwork she had in a quiet place like this. Since her relationship with Nathan grew to “something big and important” she hasn’t had much time for work. They spent their free time together, they brought her kids on the trips, ice cream or just spent time at home, watching TV or cuddling on the sofa. Meredith called it “the honeymoon” even though they weren’t married. She was thinking about the plans for tonight, when the door opened and she saw Nathan.

“Hey, babe!” he walked toward her, “what’s new?”

“I’m catching up, and you?”

“I was thinking about tonight. We have any plans?” he asked, giving her half of his sandwich.

“Nope. Maggie said something about taking the kids to the cinema.” she smiled.

“That means….We have the house to ourselves?” he grinned.

“Yes.” she nodded, “what would you like to do? Cleaning? Maybe we go grocery shopping?” she teased him.

“I love shopping indeed, but I was wondering if we could invite Owen and Amelia to dinner?”

“Don’t say you want to play a good fairy and try to reconcile them.” Mer asked.

“Yes. Look at us! We are happy. I really want Owen and Amelia to be as happy as we are.” he touched her cheek.

“And if they don’t want that?” she asked.

“Let’s try and find out,” Nathan took a step toward her and gave her a sweet kiss.

*****

Nathan sat in front of Amelia in the cafeteria, they were friends and it wasn’t unusual or weird for them to eat together. Amelia looked up from the article she was just reading and smiled at Nathan.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I want to ask you to dinner.”

“You know that we are in cafeteria. We already ate.”

“Not here. I want to ask you to come to dinner at Mer’s house. Maggie will take the kids to the cinema and we’ll just eat and talk.”

“Yeah and where is the catch?”

“Mer is inviting Owen.”

“I see.” she looked at the article, “I’ll come anyway. I lived there.”

“Great!” Nathan smiled.

******

“Owen!” Meredith shouted through the ER rush, “Owen!”

Owen turned around, he looked at Meredith, who was standing next to an exam room. She nodded at the room and seconds later she was already waiting for him.

“Hi, Mer! What’s up?”

“I wanted to invite you to dinner. Tonight, 8pm.”

“Me?” he asked, confused. “I mean….ok. Can I bring someone?”

“Yes, if you want to.” she smiled.

“So, we’ll see you at 8pm.”

“Owen,” Meredith said before leaving the room, “Amelia will be there too.”

Owen looked at Meredith’s back when she left the room. He was happy and confused at once and he didn’t know what to think about that “dinner” thing. He took his things and went to an oncall room to take a nap before the feelings messed with his head again.

****

“Why’d you let him bring someone?” Nathan asked.

“What could I have said? No, you can’t, because my boyfriend want to be a relationship fairy?”

“Well… Not in those words, but yes.” he said, looking at her, “and if he brings his new girlfriend?”

“I told him Amelia will be here…He won’t do that.”

Meredith took a step toward Nathan. He was cooking a meal for them and the kitchen had never looked so “used”. She stood behind him and hugged him, resting her head on his back. They stood there like that for a moment, and after a couple of minutes, Meredith’s voice broke the silence.

“I’m proud of you…that you want to make everyone happy, but I know that sometimes it’s impossible.”

“I thought that too, before you grabbed my hand when we were leaving the hospital. I realized that everyone can be happy. Sometimes you just need a little push.”

Meredith kissed Nathan and left the room. She was so happy that he was in her life. She grabbed everything she needed to set the table in the dining room. Mer prepared everything, while Nathan was the one who cooked. After a moment, Meredith looked up at Amelia who was walking downstairs. She wore a dark red, laced dress and matching heels. Meredith looked into her eyes and smiled. She realized that Nathan was right, they can make them happy again. After that thought, she heard knocking.

“Hi, Owen! Glad you came.” she took his jacket.

“As I said, I brought someone with me.” he turned around, letting the woman walk in first.

“Hi!” Teddy said quietly, “hope you don’t mind?”

“No! Not at all! I didn’t know you came to Seattle.” Meredith answered.

“Yeah. I’m here for a while.”

“We can sit, my boyfriend is cooking and the dinner will be done any minute.”

All of them walked into the dining room, Owen’s sigh came straight to Amelia, she looked incredibly beautiful and he couldn’t stop looking at her. He sat next to her, trying to clear his mind. Owen brought Teddy with him because he was afraid that he’d screw something up again and he didn’t want that.

“You look amazing.” he whispered to Amelia.

“You look handsome, too.” she whispered back, “Hi! You must be Teddy. We were talking on the phone. I’m Amelia-”

“Owen’s wife! Nice to meet you.” the woman lifted her hand, “I’m Teddy.”

“So, if everyone knows everyone, we can eat.” Mer said, “Nathan, are you coming?”

“Yes, babe.”

Nathan entered the room, carrying full plates of meal, he didn’t look at their guests yet, but he noticed that Owen and Amelia sat next to each other. He lifted his eyes and looked at the woman sitting next to Owen, Nathan looked at her and couldn’t believe that his past found him again.

“Teddy?” he asked, surprised.

“Nathan.” she looked at him with big eyes.

“Do you know each other?” Meredith asked.

“Yes. We-”

“Served together.” Teddy ended.

“Yes.” Nathan nodded, sitting between Meredith and Teddy.

*****

The dinner went well, in Meredith’s opinion very well. Owen and Amelia started to talk which was huge progress. They both left dinner a bit earlier, they wanted to talk in front of the house and it turned out they went for a walk. Meredith didn’t know what to think about Nathan and Teddy. They were acting awkwardly since the dinner started, they didn’t talk much and every time Amelia or Meredith asked about war stories, they acted like it was a big secret. She walked into the kitchen while Nathan was washing dishes, she didn’t say anything, just stood in the door and watched him. After some time, she decided to ask about ‘’the Teddy thing” and she was hoping he would tell her the truth.

“What happened between you and Teddy?” she asked gently.

“Nothing…I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I want to know, Nathan. Is it something that will hurt us all if you tell me?”

“Yes… and no.”

“Okay then.” she turned back, ready to leave.

“Wait!” he shouted, “I don’t want to have any secrets before you, but if I told you about it…I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Let me decide what hurts me and what doesn’t okay?” Meredith said, touching his cheek.

“Alright.” he sigh, “let’s do this.”

*****

Nathan and Meredith were sitting on the sofa in their cosy living room. The curtains were drawn and the room was lit only by some candles. They sat on the brown sofa, Meredith took Nathan’s hands in hers to give him some courage. She really wanted to know what had happened, but she was also scared it could destroy what they built with such effort. She smiled and, after a moment, Nathan finally spoke.

“We served in the same base. Teddy, Megan and I.” Nathan started, “we had the worst day then, we lost two of ours and we couldn’t stop thinking about it. Megan tried to cheer me up even if she was in bad shape too, but I said that I need a walk. I almost ran from our tent… At war zone… you feel hundred times more than at home. You don’t have a safe place, you have a small space that you share with other guys or girls. You are always with someone.” 

Nathan took a deep breath and looked at Meredith, her blue eyes were looking at him with love he didn’t notice earlier. He held her hands tighter and got back to the story that broke his life for a long time.

“I went to Teddy’s tent. She was there, alone with a bottle of vodka someone gave her. She was damaged, just like me. It was our patient! We kissed and later… Megan saw us having sex in Teddy’s tent. I ran to her, but it was too late. She flew out in that stupid helicopter. That was the last time I saw her. Later, Teddy went back home and I stayed for one more round. I thought I’d find her and bring her back home…”

“You didn’t mean to hurt her… or me.” Meredith said softly, “you are right, there are feelings and emotions that we can’t handle on our own. I’m not saying what you did was right, but I know you hadn’t done it on purpose.”

“I didn’t, but I don’t want Owen to know who was that girl I cheated on Megan with. He and Teddy are good friends and I want it to stay that way.”

“I won’t tell anyone.” Meredith said, kissing him.

“I don’t want to ruin everything we’ve built-” he started.

“You didn’t. I’m here for you, Nathan. We are together and everything that had happened to you before… it’s a part of our history. We can’t change that, but we can help each other get trough this.”

“Since when are you are such a smart woman when it comes to relationships?” he asked, taking her into his arms.

“Since I have a boyfriend who thinks everyone can be happy.” she said, resting her head on his chest.

“He’s a smart guy.” Nathan grinned.

“Yes, but that’s not the only reason I love him.”

“I love you too.” he said, kissing her head. When she giggled softly, he kissed her cheek and then moved south, to the soft skin of her neck. Planting quick kisses on her neck, he inhaled her intoxicating scent. He could recognize it anywhere now. It was so uniquely her. Apricots, cinnamon and something else he could never identify. Getting enveloped in that wonderful scent, Nathan forgot about his playfulness and started pressing open mouthed kisses to Meredith’s neck. Her giggles died down and she let out a quiet moan, which only spurred him on. In a split second, his mouth was on hers, hungry and hot, requesting entrance.

Meredith was getting lost in his fevered kisses, wanting more with every second that passed. Her need was growing rapidly, and soon, she straddled him, wound her fingers in his hair and started rocking her hips on top of him.

Their hands roamed, grabbing at clothes, pushing, pulling, taking them off.

When they felt skin on skin contact in their passionate embrace as he entered her, they both found bliss neither of them had ever expected to find.


	23. Stay with me

The emergency room was filled with people. Doctors, nurses and medical stuff were in the middle of the fight for someone’s life. Tubes, syringes, blood stains…room looked like every stain was a proof of the battle. Suddenly, the loud beep filled the room, the pressure all of the sudden dropped, people started another rush, adrenaline, epinephrine were injected into the body laying on the table. Nathan’s eyes opened wide, he felt the warmth of blood stains on his shirt. He was on adrenaline rush, the memories from that day flashed like the movie, he closed eyes just for a moment to clear his mind. After seconds he opened it wild with a scream coming out from his mouth.

“MEREDITH!”

****

A few hours earlier…

Amelia, Meredith and Maggie were sitting in the cafeteria, the day was so lazy that all of the doctors spent it catching up on paperwork on talking in the cafeteria or any other free room. Sisters were there for some time, eating pie and drinking coffee.

“It’s so boring.” Amelia said, sipping another coffee, “I want…”

“Don’t even!” Meredith said quick.

“What?” Maggie asked.

“If she said that words, you know what words…. It will get crazy and I don’t like it that way.” Meredith explained.

“You mean ‘I want something to happen’ words.” Amelia asked with a smile.

“Ugh… you did that! Now we’re screwed.” Meredith said.

Suddenly the cafeteria door opened loudly, one of the nurses, redhead with dark green eyes, ran to the room with loud comments coming out from her mouth. Sisters didn’t know what it’s all about until she said the most important words : massive collision on the road.

****

Meredith arrived at the place of the accident. She turned around to check the scale of the collision, just like the last time she stood with Amelia and Maggie who were already at adrenaline rush, saving people or at least helping them die in peace. Meredith shook her head to clear her mind. She didn’t wait a minute and ran to the most injured patients.

After a few hours of rescuing the most injured patients, Meredith was exhausted. She breathed heavily, hair was wet from sweat and she thought that she was hungry, when she saw a familiar face. She took a few steps toward Nathan. He smiled at her, carrying brown bag. He touched her arm and pulled her closer, he was in the second shift that was set to the same accident who turns out was bigger than they thought.

Nathan hugged her tight and after a moment he was kissing her passionately.

“I thought you would be hungry.” he lifted the brown bag.

“I could kiss you for that.” she smiled, opening the bag.

“I’ll take that offer.”

“First: food. Second: kisses.” Meredith said with a mouth full of fries.

“Got it!” he nodded, sitting on one of the stones with Meredith on his lap.

“You shouldn’t be there with others?” she pointed on the second shift.

“Yeah. They gave us a few minutes. I dropped of kids to the babysitter. She heard about the crash and said she will take care of them as long as we need.”

“Thank you.” Meredith said, kissing his lips.

“Will you take my car?” he said, caressing her back.

“Yes. Amelia and Maggie already drove to the hospital. I will sit here a moment and go home.”

“Okay. Rest a bit and later drive home. Let me know when you get there.” he said, and stood up.

“I’ll” she said, “Nathan!”

“Yes babe?”

“Be carefull there.”

“I will.” he smiles, walking away to save some lives.

*******

Meredith was sitting on the stone where Nathan left her couple of minutes ago. Her body was so tired that she couldn’t stand up and drive home. She closed her eyes to let them rest, she heard the noise of people, sound of the ambulances driving near by. She opened eyes and she was just about to leave when she heard something in the bushes in front of her. Meredith stood up, throwing the garbage from the meal Nathan brought her to the bin, she took a few steps toward the green, she pushed away the leaves when she felt the pain in her head. She felt something sticky on her forehead, she lifted her hand to touch it, the red, metalic fluid was flooded from her head. The blood was all over her face when she felt another hit, her stomach hurt, making her bend. Meredith fell on the cold ground next to Nathan’s car, she tried to stay awake when she saw a man walked towards her. The last thing she saw was his hand with something in it and the familiar voice screaming.

*****

Nathan was away for about five minutes when he realized the car keys are still in his pocket. He turned around and started to walk in the other way than the others. Nathan started walking faster, he didn’t know why, he had a feeling something was wrong. Suddenly he heard someone screaming his name.

“Riggs!!”

“What?” he answered, turning around.

“Where are you going? Patients are that way.” Bailey screamed.

“I need to give Meredith the keys. I’ll be right back.”

“You better be. We have things to do.”

Nathan looked at his car, the window was smashed and he saw a man standing under something with a french key in his hand. Nathan looked at the man, ran towards that guy and punched him from behind. Nathan jumped on his back, he hit him in the kidney and later turned around so he could see his face. Riggs punched his rival straight into his face when he swing and passed out near his victim. Nathan shook his head, trying to focus on what happened there, he walked toward the woman laying on her stomach. He gently turned her over to see her face. Nathan looked at the porcelain face, now covered with red blood, he put her on his lap and hugged tighter to his body, he wanted to scream, but he couldn’t even make a sound. Meredith was laying there on his lap, he knew that if he doesn’t do anything he will lose her and that was the last thing that could happen to him. Nathan lifted her light body, he kissed her forehead and started to walk faster. When he was near the crowded part of the doctors and nurses, he started to run as fast as he could. He would save her, without her his world doesn’t exist.

*****

Nathan was sitting in the waiting room, his shirt was coated with blood, Meredith’s blood, he cradled his head in his hands while the doctors tried to save her life. He wanted to be there, but Bailey sent him away. Nathan doesn’t know how long he was sitting there, when Owen sat next to him with a cup of tea in his hand.

“Drink that.” he gave him warm liquid.

“I don’t want to…” he looked at him, “what if… what if I came to late? I should have checked if she’s safe. Waited till she drove away. I should've…” he breathed heavily.

“Nathan. It wasn’t your fault. If you hadn’t come back… she would be dead. She’s strong and she will fight. Come with me, we’ll check on her.”

********

Nathan was sitting in the chair in Meredith’s room, after a little crash she had, now she was stable and they decided to give her some time. He was sitting there laying his head on the edge of the bed. At once he felt the move in his hand, the one that was holding Mer’s hand. He stood up fast and looked at her bruised face. She looked at him like they were looking at each other the last time.

“Hey! You are okay.” he asked.

Meredith nodded, while her hand tried to show him the tube in her throat.

“Yes I know. We will remove it babe.”

*****

Meredith was sitting on the hospital bed, ready to leave. She was waiting for Nathan for some time, her head was still pounding, but she felt better every day. She tried not to think what would have happen if Nathan hadn’t come back that day. The guy who attacked her was responsible for the accident. He was in shock and later couldn’t tell why he did it. Meredith focused on the memories and didn’t hear when the door opened.

“Are you ready?” Nathan asked.

“Yes. We go home, finally!”

Nathan was looking at her when she stood up, she was bruised and a bit sore, but her eyes were bright. He smiled to himself, happy that he can see her beautiful eyes.

“Nathan.” she touched his arm, “I didn’t thank you for saving my life that day.”

“It was my fault Mer. I should have stayed with you. Checked if you were safe.” he touched her forehead with his, “it won’t happen again. I promise. You mean the world to me and I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t.”

Meredith looked at him once again before their lips connected. She held his jacked, pushing him closer to her body. After seconds she didn’t know why her head was spinning, she was hoping it was the love she felt for Nathan causing all the spinning.


	24. Fatal fate

The sound of the flooded water woke her up, she lay on the wet, hard ground, felt moist grass under her head. Meredith tried to open her eyes, her body hurt, every muscle, every part of it burning the living hell pain. She couldn’t scream or speak. She tried to force herself to open her eyes, stand up or just roll over and check if anyone could see her. She pushed herself to open her eyes, saw a blue sky without any clouds, trees with green leaves and half of a parachute on one of the bushes. Meredith pushed herself even more and sat down on the cold ground. She looked around to find anything that she knew. Meredith looked to the left where she noticed him, he was lying on the ground just like her. His head was stained with blood and he didn’t move. She tried to stand up, but all she could do was scream.

“NATHAN!”

*****

Nathan opened his eyes, they were covered with some blood, but he didn’t know if it was his. He checked the ground, felt the cold, wet ground with something moisty under his head. He touched it to find out if he is the one bleeding. Nathan sat down. Looking around, the place was green, with some trees, he didn’t see any water or sea. He was wondering if it was real or if he was having a dream, a very lame dream. Suddenly he heard something resembling someone’s scream. He turned around and saw Meredith, she was screaming his name, while her clothes were covered in blood and remains of someone’s brain.

****

They were sitting next to each other for some time, Meredith was still in shock, but Nathan tried to comfort her as much as he could. They realized that they were the only ones who survived, or maybe they were sucked from the plane which crashed far from there, they didn’t know and for now they didn’t want to think about it.

“We need to find some food and clothes. Maybe we can find something to make a fire.” he thought out loud.

“Nathan, we don’t know where we are, we won’t find any food because the plane crashed somewhere else and as you know there are bans for bringing on board that kind of things.” she said.

“Babe, people not always make what others want. As example, you can not have sex in a plane bathroom, but some of the people do it anyways.” he touched her cheek with his thumb.

“I don’t want to…I experienced it before Nathan. I don’t want to be here any minute longer…”

“I know, honey. I will try to get us out of here as soon as it possible.” he kissed her forehead, “now, we will look for clothes and food. Don’t go too far okay?”

“Okay.” she said, standing up.

******

They went to the other site of the place they were, the big airplane wreck was lying on the other side, without one of its wings and the tail. Nathan jumped into it, he was hoping he would find some things that helped them survive that place. Meredith was looking around the plane. She still was in some kind of shock, but Nathan’s presence helped her a lot. 

After about an hour of looking for useful things Nathan and Meredith sat on one of the stones near the trees. They put everything together and looked at their treasures. They had some blankets, fruits and some water, Nathan found two flairs and a working lighter. When they came back to the place they started, it was already dark, Nathan found some branches and dry leaves, he made a pile and lit it. The flame wasn’t big, but the fire gave them some warmth, Nathan sat behind Meredith and covered her with another blanket. He wrapped her into his arms and kissed her neck.

“If I would have to choose one person I want to be here with…You would be that person. I’m so sorry it happened to you a second time.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m happy that you are here with me.” she said, leaning her head on his chest.

“I will get us out… We won’t be here long.”

“I know you will. I trust you Nathan.” she kissed him softly.

******

The next day was better than last one, Meredith was looking for more leaves and branches while Nathan was trying to build a shelter for them. He found a bit of string and bigger leaves and hang it between the trees. She looked at him when he took off his shirt, his strong muscles were tensioned, trying to hang the “roof” between the trees. He was sweaty and Mer couldn’t stop looking at his body, the muscles, chest and even neck were so sweaty and sexy that Meredith needed to turn her eyes from him. After a big amount of work, they sat under the leaves roof. It was getting dark and they were running out of water already, after two days their the stocks shrank, but Nathan still tried to cheer Meredith up.

“When we get home I’ll work as a buildman. I’m pretty good with that stuff.” 

“Stop! Just stop!” Meredith yelled, “we’ll probably never get back and we will die here!”

“Meredith-” he started.

“No! I was in that place before, my sister died and my friend died! I don’t want to lose anyone else Nathan! I don’t want to lose you!”

“You will never lose me.”

“I could! I…” she started to cry.

Nathan took a step toward her, she was shaking and for a moment he doesn’t hear anything except her crying. After a second he heard it, the loud noise of something big. He looked up and finally saw the big chopper that was flying above their heads. Nathan released Mer from his arms and ran to the place he kept the two flairs. He shoot one of them high, over their heads, hoping someone would see it. After a moment the helicopter came back, hanging above their heads.

“We were looking for you.” the man said holding the ladder, “we can’t land her so we will take you another way. Who’s first?”

“She is.” Nathan said, pushing Meredith gently.

“Okay. I’ll be right back for you.”

Nathan was looking at the man and Meredith climbed to the chopper, he felt relief that he could keep the promise he gave her. After a few minutes the man came back and took Nathan away from the place where he never wanted to be again.

******

Meredith lay on the bed when the door opened slightly, she opened her eyes and saw Nathan with a bandage on his hand. He was smiling, looking at her with relief. She lifted herself a bit so she could kiss him when he sat on her bed. She was dehydrated and needed some rest, but other than that she was totally fine.

“Are you okay?” she asked, touching his hand.

“Yes. It turns out, I’m not such a good builder. I strained a muscle and I need to walk with it about a week.”

“No more dreams about changing your job?” she smiled.

“Nope.” he grinned.

“Nathan…” Meredith started.

“Yes, babe?”

“I wouldn’t survive it without you.”

“I wouldn’t survive without you either.”

“I… “ she looked straight into his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Meredith. You are the best thing that happened to me.”

Nathan lay on the left side of the bed, cuddling her from behind. He kissed her neck and forehead and after a moment they both closed their eyes to finally rest. Fatal fate wasn’t so scary for them anymore.

“Nathan…” Meredith said sleepy.

“Yes..”

“Could you walk more often without a shirt?” she asked.

“If you like it.”

“Yes, I like it…a lot in fact.” she smiled.


	25. Surprise part 1

Meredith was standing in front of the nurse station when Amelia and Maggie approached her. The three doctors were standing there, quietly at first, checking their cards and making schedules for the next few hours. Meredith looked at her tablet with big date on her screen. She took a look and after second a silent scream reached her mouth.

“Fuck!” she cursed.

“What’s wrong?” Maggie asked her sister.

“Everything alright?” Amelia looked up from their charts.

“Nathan’s birthday.” she said, looking up at her sisters “it’s in two days!”

“You didn’t know when his birthday is or did you just forgot?” Amelia asked.

“I know, but everything is crazy lately and I ….”

“Yeah, raise kids, sex and later more sex. You’re busy as hell my dear.” Maggie said sarcastically.

“I’m not! Well, I am, but not only because of sex.”

“Okay, we know everything about Mer’s sex life…what will you do with the fact you don’t have a present for Nathan? And a party?” Amelia asked.

“I have no idea.”

“I’ll talk with Nate about a birthday present and you will make a quick party.” Amelia said.

“Or…” Maggie looked at her sisters “you will be the only guest.”

“A party with one guest?” Meredith asked.

“Yes, we will take the kids and you will buy a sexy dress” Maggie said.

“That looks like a plan to me.” Meredith said, smiling.

******

Amelia walked to the cafeteria, dreaming about hot coffee, when she saw Nathan sitting alone in the corner. She took her coffee and sat in front of him, he looked tired and Amelia tried not to mention his birthday was coming.

“How are you?” she asked.

“Good, and you?”

“I know something, I can’t tell you, but I really want to tell you because I need to know your opinion” she said quickly.

“Shoot!” he answered, putting aside the paper he was reading.

“Meredith forgot about you birthday. She’s really sorry and she doesn’t have any gift. So we, me and Maggie, well mostly Maggie, said we will take the kids out and Mer will cook something” she looked at him, “I like you and don’t want you to die because Meredith is such a bad cook. Seriously, she almost killed me with a toast.”

“I get it” Nathan smiled, “what can I do? I will handle it as a man”

“You really want to get yourself killed, eating Meredith’s food?” Amelia asked surprised.

“I love her, so I think I don’t have a choice.” he said, smiling.

“You are crazy…”

“A bit… about Meredith.”

******

Meredith left work earlier to go shopping, she forgot how it is to dress for a guy, in fact this was her first time, she looked at some dresses, but after she tried them on she felt that it wasn’t how she would like to look. When she was just about to leave, she saw it, a short, red, lace dress with open back. Meredith was so happy that she needed to hold on to something because her head spinned, she sat at the bench near the store and took a few deep breaths. When she felt better, she walked to the store and bought the most beautiful dress she had ever seen.

*****

Meredith walked to her home, realizing that she was alone. The kids were with Maggie and Amelia was on a sleepover at Hunt’s house, Nathan was at work and she was hoping he would be there till she would be ready with all she had planned. Meredith went upstairs, throwing her shopping on the bed. She found a small, brown bag and unpacked the little thing that was in it. The pregnancy test looked weird in her hands. Meredith went to the bathroom and made the test, these were the longest five minutes of her life.

*******

The house was lit by the moon when, inside, Meredith was trying to cook one of the easiest dish on earth - spaghetti. After an hour of cooking, she had already burned pasta and added too much salt to the sauce. She was hoping Nathan wouldn’t be hungry or at least he would notice something else more attractive than food. She wore that short, lace dress without back with matched heels and she felt better. After a moment, when she was adding some not very cooked meatballs to her spaghetti, she felt someone’s sight on her. She lifted her head and saw Nathan. He was leaning against the door frame, observing her with a smile on his face.

“What’s the occasion?” he asked.

“Your birthday is tomorrow, I thought I would cook you dinner and we could spend sometime alone. The kids are with Amelia and Maggie. We are alone.” she said, looking into his eyes.

“That’s great. Thank you for the amazing present.” he gave her a small kiss on her forehead.

“I’m sorry.” Meredith’s eyes became wet. 

“Hey babe! What’s wrong?”

“I forgot… pasta is burned, sauce is too salty and meatballs…they are not cooked.”

“Honey, it’s okay. Don’t cry, it’s just a birthday. Besides you look amazing and it’s the best gift ever.”

“We don’t have nothing to eat… and I think I didn’t bought wine.”

“About that… I talked with Amelia, she warned me, and I bought some things.”

“She warned you?”

“Yes, don’t be mad. I would eat everything you cooked, because I love you” he touched her cheek “I’ll eat that spaghetti.”

“No! I won’t let you get sick” she smiled “can we sit? I want to give you present.”

“Amelia said you don’t have nothing for me.”

“Amelia doesn’t know everything.”

Meredith took Nathan’s hand and pulled him to the living room. They sat next to each other, while Mer was still holding Nathan’s hand. She looked at him squeezing his hand to give herself some courage.

“I have something…” she taking a little box out of the shelf.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Open it.”

Nathan took a little box from Meredith’s hand, the little white box with red ribbon wasn’t heavy. He unwrapped it and looked inside. Plastic stick with two red lines… He looked at it again and later at Meredith. Nathan was in shock for a moment, but after that his eyes became filled with tears of joy.

“Are we…?”

“We will have a baby.”

“Oh my God!” he screamed, jumping from the sofa.

“That means you are happy?”

“Happy?” he asked, taking Mer into his arms “I’m the happiest man on this Earth!” he lifted her up.

*****

After the meal Nathan brought with him, they went upstairs. Meredith wore the most comfortable pyjama even if it wasn’t the sexiest outfit. They both laid on the comfy bed, cuddling, Nathan put his arms around her, pulling her closer, so he can kiss her head.

“It’s the best birthday of my life” he whispered in her ear.

“It better be because since tomorrow, I’ll be an emotionally unstable pregnant woman.”

“If you want to scare me… I won’t let you.” he said, tickling her.

“We’ll see…we will see.”


	26. Surprise part 2

Three months later…

Meredith’s belly became a bit more visible. She looked amazing in her third pregnancy, she was glowing and even if sometimes she was mean and ‘emotionally unstable’, she felt better than the other times. Nathan was there for her, making her toasts and giving her ice cream at 2am.

“How are my girls?” he asked, touching Meredith’s belly.

“How do you know it’s not a boy?” he kissed him.

“I have a feeling. Are you going home?”

“Nope, I’m going to the accident.”

“Oh no you don’t!” he said, “I won’t let you.”

“You’re not my boss and I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll go instead of you. I’ll tell Bailey.”

“Nathan…” she started.

“No! I won’t let anyone put your life in danger.”

“Okay! Calm down. We’ll talk with Bailey.”

“Thank you.” he said, caressing her little belly.

****

Meredith was sitting on the couch in the attending room, trying to close her eyes for a bit. After Nathan’s talk with Bailey she was almost sure she would fire him, but instead of that she told him he was right and he should go to the accident and Mer should rest. She was touched by how protective Nathan was towards her, but she told him that the next time they would solve it differently, with less screams, more talking style. Meredith was just about to take a nap, when she heard noises, she wore her boots and walked to the sounds she was hearing. She stopped near the nurse station, she looked at right and saw a man with a lighter in his hand. He was a patient admitted to the hospital with lung cancer, he should not smoke, but every time nurses took a cigarette from him, he found new ones. Meredith looked at him when he was just about to light the cigarette he had in mouth, he clicked the lighter and after a moment the huge blast blowed Meredith from the corridor, stopping her limp body behind the nurses counter. She opened her eyes, closed at the moment of the explosion, she reached her hand to her stomach. She tried to feel if her baby girl was still alive, but instead of that she felt her eyes shutting without her permission.

******

Nathan ran through the emergency room’s doors, he didn’t know what happened, Bailey said that there had been an accident and that he needed to came back to the hospital as soon as possible. He couldn’t stop thinking about his family, Meredith and little bean were all he got and the thought that something could happen to them made him feel miserable. He ran through the open door to the room where everyone was taking care of Meredith and his baby.

“What happened?!” he yelled,” How is she? How is the baby?!”

“Nathan, calm down.” Owen said, trying to take him outside.

“Calm down? What would you do if Amelia was there?”

“I would let people take care of her.” Owen said calmly.

Nathan looked at Owen, he was right, but Nathan’s thoughts ran to the darkest scenarios and he couldn’t let Meredith all alone. Owen pushed him gently outside the room where she was, Nathan sat in front of the glass wall and looked at the love of his life, lying on the bed, he felt all the emotions and scare took him, his body shivered and after a moment his tears became wet. The only thing he was hoping was the doctors could bring back his girls to him.

*****

Nathan was sitting in the chair next to Meredith’s bed. He was here since they brought her into the room. Both of them were checking the monitors and one of the nurses spend all day watching if Meredith and the baby were alright. Nathan spent all the day with her, talking to their unborn child.

“When you will be big enough, I will play soccer with you or rugby! Or if you will want I will register you on ballet classes.”

“And if it will be a boy?” he heard Meredith’s voice.

“Meredith!” he kissed her forehead “How are you feeling? Is something hurting you?”

“I’m fine” she said, “how’s the baby?” she asked with tears in her eyes.

“It’s okay. She’s okay.”

“She?”

“I told you I have a feeling. We might ask the OG when she will come to check on you.”

“Do you want to know?” she asked.

“I want you to be healthy and safe. I would never leave you. I leave you for ten minutes and you…” his voice cracked.

“Nathan…it’s okay now. We are safe.” she touched his cheek.

“I’ll go for the doctor. She need to check on you.” he said, before he kissed her.

****

Meredith sat on the bed while doctor Summers was finishing her tests. She had some bruises and her back was killing her, but she and the baby were fine and all she wanted was to go home and sleep.

“Do you want to know if it’s boy or girl?” doctor asked.

“Yes.” they said at once.

“Okay. Lay for a moment.” she said, “well, you will have…”

“Wait!” Meredith screamed.

“What’s wrong? Is something hurting you?” Nathan asked.

“I want you to know that I’m the happiest girl in the world. I love you Nathan.”

“I love you too.” he kissed her, holding her hand.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes. Sorry.” Meredith said.

Meredith looked at Nathan, he was tense and his eyes became bigger every time doctor Summers zoomed the screen. He was so happy that one tear escaped from his eye.

“You will have… a baby girl.” the doctor said.

*****

Meredith stood in front of her house, she was still sore and they all decided that the kids would spend some time at Amelia and Owen’s house. Meredith reached the handle, she pushed it gently and the door opened with a click, she felt Nathan’s hand on her back, he was always near her and she was happy that both of them, she and her daughter, had an amazing partner and father by their side. 

“Now you will lay and I’ll make something to eat.” he said, putting the shopping bag on the table.

“I don’t want to lay, I can help you.”

“No. Go and rest.”

Meredith took a step towards Nathan, she put her hands on his chest and gave him a kiss, his hands ran through her belly when at once he felt a move. He looked down, with tears in his eyes, caressing it with love. Meredith put her hand on her moving belly, she smiled, kissing Nathan’s forehead. 

“Go and rest and I’ll be there in a minute” he said.

****

Meredith was laying on her back, when Nathan laid behind her. She felt his warmth at first and later his hands on her chip. He cuddled her from behind, kissing her neck. Nathan pulled her closer to him and started whispering into her ear.

“Can we talk about our daughter’s name?” he asked.

“Do you have any ideas?”

“Plenty.” he said, “but I want to know yours first.”

“If we know that is a girl…I thought about Alexandra.”

“I like it.”

“It was my sister name. Lexie.” she said, “how about your ideas?”

“I have three. Josephine, Annabelle or Lara.”

“You thought about it, didn’t you?” she smiled.

“A bit” he kissed her ear.

“Maybe…Josephine Alexandra?” she whispered.

“I love it.” he caressing Meredith belly, “welcome Josephine Alexandra. We love you already.”


	27. Significant other

The crowded hospital corridors, the strange people and the specific scent hit Nathan when he arrived to the hospital. He still had the blue uniform on, the same as when he said goodbye to Meredith. He was so overwhelmed that couldn’t say how he got there. Nathan went straight towards the nursery station.

“You brought here Megan Hunt. Please tell me where she is. Is she okay?”

“Calm down sir.” one of the nurses said, “we brought one of the patients here. She’s in room 200, you need to go at left and later down the hall.”

“Thank you.” he said, running.

Nathan ran almost the whole way to Megan’s room, he didn’t know what she would do once he got there, she might just kick him out of her room and say she didn’t want to see him again, but Nathan’s heart was ready for it. He was ready for everything just to see her again, to see her light hair and that smirk in her eyes when she smiled. He looked at the room numbers: 198, 199, 200. Nathan stood in front of her room, he looked at the white doors with 200 on it and for a moment, he wanted to came back to Meredith. He didn’t know who he’d find behind this door, but whoever it would be, he was hoping he’d find the Megan he knew.

****

Megan was laying on the bed, covered with white blanket, she was waiting for Owen and his wife who were talking with her doctor. The events of the whole day had tired her and all she wanted to do was sleep. At once the door opened with a click, she turned to left and saw his face. He looked a bit older and his hair were sprinkled with some grey, but he still looked handsome. She smiled, looking at him enter the room, his eyes were wild opened and for a moment she saw tears in them. Nathan sat on the edge of the bed, trying to control his shaking legs.

“Megan…” he whispered.

“Nathan…” she whispered back.

“I’m so sorry.” he hid his face in his hands.

“It’s okay.” she put her hand on his.

“I thought I’d never see you again. That you were…”

“Dead?”

“Yes.”

“I thought that too, but they found me.” she smiled.

The door opened and they saw Amelia and Owen walking into the room, Nathan lifted his head, looking at Owen’s face. It was tense and Nathan was wondering if their meet would end up with a fight. Instead, Owen looked at his sister with a smile on his face.

“Doctors agreed to move you to our hospital. We will take you there so you’ll be closer to home.”

“That’s good I guess.” she said, still holding Nathan’s hand, “Are you still mad at each other?” Megan asked.

“Yeah.” Amelia burst out.

“That means yes?” Megan looked at the brunette.

“He put you in danger Megan.”

“But I’m here now. That’s all that matters.”

****

Nathan was sitting in the bench in front of the hospital. He still couldn’t believe in what happened, he had her back, but all he can think about was how sad Meredith was when he was leaving. Pain in her eyes was everything he wanted to spare the woman he build something with. When he was sitting there alone, looking at the people passing him by, he was ready to come back to Meredith and leave Megan, but something deep in his heart wouldn’t let him.

“Are you coming?” he heard a familiar voice.

“Yeah, in a minute.”

“I can sit here with you if you need company.” Amelia said, sitting next to him.

“Thanks. I just…”

“You don’t know what to do with your life?” she finished.

“Yes.” he looked at her, “Megan is alive, she came back and that should be enough to say.”

“Do you love her?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you love Meredith?”

“Yes. I mean, I know her, not much, but more than Megan in this point.”  
“Maybe you should just give it time and find out” Amelia said, taking him to the hall.

****

The room was bright, a light green blanket was covering the bed, Megan was standing in front of the window, looking at the people passing by. She was in her casual clothes, white shirt and jeans, there was only a test and then they decided that longer hospitalization wasn’t necessary. After a long discussion she decided to stay in Nathan’s place, just for now.

“Are you ready?” she heard Owen’s voice.

“Yes.” she said.

“Where’s Riggs?”

“He needed some air, will be right back I think.”

“You know that you can stay with us? It’s not a problem.”

“Don’t be like that. I want to build my own life and not live yours.”

“I know that, but the point is if you want to build it with him.”

The door opened, they saw a wheelchair and later the nurse who was pulling it into the room. Megan looked at them and after seconds she sat on the chair. After moment she was pulled into the exam room, still waiting for Nathan.

*****

“Hi Megan, I’m here.” Nathan said to the microphone in the ,,,,,,,

“Hi! I thought you ran away.”

“Sorry. I’m here. Don’t move ok?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” he smiled to himself.

“Did you met someone significant?”

“Megan…” his voice crack.

“It’s okay. You can tell me. I won’t freak out, it’s been some time and you had the right to move on.”

“Meredith. Her name is Meredith.”

“Is she working here? I think I heard the name.”

“Yes. She’s the head of general surgery here.”

“Tell me something about her.”

“Megan…”

“Please. I won’t say a word, I’ll just lay here and listen. Please.”

“Okay, but you need to be still.”

“Promise.”

“Meredith is…” he smiled to himself again, “smart, beautiful, funny, even if she calls herself “twisty”. She has three children: Zola, Bailey and Ellis. Zola was adopted, she’s about 8 now. Bailey loves cars, especially the firefighters cars. Ellis is like sunlight, she loves to make a mess when she eats. Meredith had a husband, Derek, he died. She is an amazing surgeon, loves her job. We… she lives with her sister Maggie and sister in law Amelia. Well, maybe now Amelia will move into Owen’s again. They have some issues.”

The machine finished the scan, Nathan looked around to make sure he didn’t leave anything when he saw Meredith looking at him, standing in the door. She was smiling, but he saw tears in her eyes, just like before. He wanted to run to her, take her into his arms and never let her go, but at some point he knew that was impossible. He couldn’t leave Megan when she needed him the most, he let her down once and he didn’t want to do this again. They were looking at each other for some time when a soft voice brought them back to reality.

“Nathan. Is it over?” Megan asked.

“Yes. It’s over.” he said, looking at Meredith.


	28. Significant other part 2

Meredith entered the oncall room, her legs were weak and she didn’t know how she got there. She heard everything he said, about her, about her children, she thought that letting him go would be easier, but her heart told her other way. She sat on one of the beds, she hid her face into her hands and after a moment the first tear drop on the floor.

“Meredith.” she heard Alex’s voice above her head.

“Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.” she wiped the tear with her hand.

“What happened?” Alex jumped off from the bed.

“Megan Hunt happened.” she said looking at him, “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy she’s alive, but… why it’s always me? I lost my mother, my childhood, Derek and so many other people and things…”

“You love him?” Alex asked.

“Yes. For the first time since Derek died, I feel like I could make a family with him.”

“Give it some time Mer. We will solve this somehow. Just not now.” he pulled her closer and hugged her.

*****

Meredith put Ellis in the chair, she was already dressed and the only thing left was breakfast. Mer placed the small bowl of apple muss in front of her daughter. It was Friday, and Meredith needed to take her kids to work with her.

“Bailey!” she shouted, “come here or we’ll be late.”

“He’s looking for his shoes, he has a match tomorrow and he can’t find them.” Zola said, eating her cereals.

“Where did he see them last time?”

“He can’t remember.”

“Stay here with Ellis okay?”

Meredith went upstairs, finding her son in the middle of the room with all his sports boots. He was holding his old shoes, dark brown with orange strips, in one hand and an empty bag in the other.

“Bailey, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t find the shoes.” he wined.

“You have them in your hand sweetheart.”

“No. They’re old, uncle Nathan bought me new ones. Dark blue with green, so they match to our team colors.”

“Where did you see them last time?” she asked.

“At uncle Nathan’s place. Maybe we can call him and ask if he could come to my match tomorrow. He will bring the shoes.”

“We’ll see. Now we need to run or mommy will be late for work, okay?”

“Yes.” he said, leaving his bag in the middle of the room.

*****

Nathan walked through the hospital door, he still had one day off, but he forgot about one of the patients and Megan felt good enough to go with him. He let her walk first, when he saw Meredith near the elevators. Nathan didn’t talk to her since Megan’s scans.

“Mommy! It’s uncle Nathan. I’ll ask him about the shoes.” Bailey started to run.

“Bailey stop!” she shouted.

Before she could do anything, her son was already by Nathan’s side, Meredith knew how awkward it would be, he was there with Megan and she felt like someone who lost the war. Meredith walked to them, trying to be nice and don’t let them see how devastated she was inside.

“Sorry. Hope he didn’t scare you.” Meredith asked Megan.

“No. Not at all.”

“Uncle! Uncle! Do you have my training shoes? I have a match tomorrow and I thought you can come. Later mommy will make grill, but you can come too because i don’t know if mommy can use it.” Bailey talked fast.

“Slow down mate!” Nathan smiled, crouching to him. “I think your shoes are in my car. We can see if you want.”

“Yes! I don’t want to play in the old ones.” he smiled, “Will you come to my match tomorrow?” he looked at him with big eyes.

“I don’t know.” he looked at Megan. ”we-”

“Of course we will come. What time is it?” Megan asked.

“Mommy,” he turned to Meredith, “what time is my game at?” he whispered.

“10 am.” she said.

“10 am.” he repeated.

“We will be there and now you need to go for your shoes.” Megan said.

“I’ll take him to the daycare later.” Nathan smiled to Meredith.

“Okay. Thank you.” she answered.

“I’ll wait here.” Megan said, looking at them both.

*****

“Do you like your new girlfriend more than my mommy?” Bailey asked, holding Nathan’s hand.

“She’s not my new girlfriend. She’s my old one.” Nathan explained.

“So, you won’t visit us?” Bailey asked, looking up. “Ellis smashed apple mousse today. It was so funny.” he said.

“Not for mommy thought.”

“No. She was mad, but we weren’t late.” Bailey looked at Nathan, “she’s sad. I heard her crying in the bathroom.”

“Come here.” Nathan said, “I’ll never forget about you, Ellis and Zola. Even if I have a new girlfriend-”

“Old.” Bailey smiled.

“Old girlfriend.” he said “I’ll be present in your life okay?”

“Okay.” he hugged him with his tiny hands on his neck.”

“Come on, we need to find your shoes.” Nathan said, lifting him up.

******

Meredith was removing Ellis’ stroller from the car, it was Saturday morning and she would give everything to be in her bed, with a warm blanket and tequila in her hand. She was hoping that Nathan was one of those guys who always promise something, but never keep their words. She didn’t want to hurt her son, but looking at his love for another woman for about 90 minutes was too much, even for her.

“Hey! Can I help?” she heard Nathan’s voice.

“No. I’m fine. Thank you.”

“No problem.” he took the stroller from Meredith.

“Where’s Megan?”

“She went for something to drink.” he said. “Where are the kids?”

“Maggie brought them to find good seats.” Meredith said “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean Bailey to invite you…”

“It’s okay. I would have come anyway.” Nathan touched her cheek, while removing one of the hair from her face.

“Don’t.” she said, taking step back. “it’s hard even if you don’t touch me.”

“I’m-” he started.

“Can we go?” Megan asked, with two bottles in her hands.

“Yeah. We don’t want to be late.”

******

The match was already started from some time, all of Bailey’s family was sitting in one place, he was happy seeing Nathan on the front sits. Bailey was doing everything to play a good match, he ran, kicked and scored. Every time he did something right, he looked at Nathan and smiled.

“He’s even better than last time.” Nathan said excited.

“I see that.” Megan said, looking at his happy face.

Nathan looked at Meredith, she was cheering up his son, her hair were spread by the wind, her eyes were clear and her cheek were red from the wind. Nathan turned to her, looking straight into her eyes.

“Are you cold?”

“No.” she quickly said.

“If you are… I can give you my blouse.”

“You should offer it to Megan.”

“Oh my God!” Megan shouted, “Bailey just passed out.”

Nathan and Meredith looked at her first and later at the football ground. Her son was laying on the ground, not breathing. They jumped from the sits, leaving Megan and Maggie with the children. When they ran to the unconscious boy, his breath was low and he couldn’t take a breath. Nathan moved him gently, trying to find the source of the injury.

“Mer, call the ambulance! He needs an operation now!” he shouted.

“Nathan,” she looked into his eyes, “I can’t lose him…”

“Meredith call an ambulance now!”

*****

The Grey Sloan Memorial’s hallway was full of people. Megan and Maggie were taking care of the kids while Meredith and Nathan spoke with the doctor. He was new there and Meredith didn’t know if she was ready to give her kid’s life into his hands.

“We need to make a thoracotomy. I made hundreds of that kind of operations.”

“Don’t get me wrong, but I want Nathan to operate.” Meredith looked at the man on her left. “I trust you.”

“Meredith…”

“I trust you.” she repeated, looking at him.

*****

Meredith was sitting in front of the OR, she needed to sit there, waiting for her son to be operated. She trusted Nathan like no one in the world. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I brought you coffee.” Megan gave her a hot cup.

“Thank you.” Meredith said, “sorry, you both had plans.”

“Stop it! It’s your child and Nathan loves him.” Megan said, ”just like he loves you.”

“Megan..”

“No! It’s okay. I came back, you both are…” Megan took a deep breath, “you both are in love.”

“He wants to be with you Megan.”

“He wants to be a good guy. He already is one, but he thinks that I’d fall apart if he leaves and it’s not like that.”

“Thank you for telling me that.”

The door opened loudly, Nathan took of his mask and looked at Meredith. His deep, dark eyes were shining and after second she saw a smile on his face. She stood up, took a step towards him and gave him a tight hug. She looked up and touched his lips with hers. The moment of their touch was the one she was waiting for since forever. Meredith pushed him gently away. She looked behind her shoulder, she didn’t want to hurt Megan in any way, but when she gazed at the chair, Megan was already gone.

“Nathan,” she grabbed his scrub shirt, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” he said, kissing her forehead.


	29. Don't waste your chances

Meredith was standing in the hallway, she was waiting for her sisters, they were already late. She took a sip of her coffee when she saw Nathan sitting in the waiting room. Meredith was torn as never, she wanted to be with him during Megan’s operation, but she knew it wasn’t right to give him and herself false hopes. She took a deep breath, walked over and sat next to him.

“You need some company?” she smiled.

“I would like that, yes.” he said, giving her a small smile.

“I’m sure the second operation will…”

“I’m not sitting here because she will have surgery Meredith. I’m here because I don’t know what to do next.” he looked at her.

“Isn’t it obvious?” she was looking on her empty cup.

“Meredith,” he said, taking her hand into his, “I know what I feel, and I know you feel it too.”

“I need to go.” she almost jumped from the chair.

“Meredith!” he shouted, seeing her leave.

*******  
“And you just ran away?” Amelia asked, taking a sip of tea.

“And what I could do?” Meredith looked at her sister,“ say that I love him and that he need to dump his ex fiancèe after all she’s been through?”

“Mer, he can’t be with someone he doesn’t love.” Maggie pointed to her sister.

Meredith looked around, they were standing near the nurses station and she couldn’t focus, she looked at the front when one woman try to talk with a nurse. The nurse were so busy, they didn’t even notice the grey haired lady. Meredith left her sisters and went towards the lady.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Oh, yes please. I tried to ask about my son, but everyone here is so busy.”

“Yes, today’s crazy. Is your son is patient?”

“No. He’s a doctor here.” the lady said, “I should have introduced myself first. I’m Regina Riggs. I’m Nathan Riggs mother.”

“Nice to meet you. Please come with me, we will try to find Nathan.” Meredith said, taking the suitcase from the lady.

********  
Meredith knocked gently on the on call room door, she knew Nathan will be here, resting after all he been true lately. She walked in first, dragging the suitcase, and she moved a little so Nathan’s mom could came after her.

“Mom! What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I couldn’t leave you dealing with this alone, son.” she hugged him tight, “that lovely lady helped me to find you.”

“Thank you Meredith.” he said, looking straight into her eyes.

At once room was filled with some kind of energy, the sparks flying between them were now even more visible. Nathan’s mom looked at him and later at Meredith. She got the impression that the two of them had their own invisible language and she shouldn’t interrupt. Regina looked at her son once again, he reminded her her first husband, Nathan was stubborn, handsome and always wanted to do the right thing, even if it wasn’t what he wanted the most.

“I’ll go now.” Meredith said, breaking the eye contact. “nice to meet you Mrs. Riggs.”

“Please call me Regina.” she smiled.

When Meredith left the room, closing the door behind her, Nathan’s mom sat on the edge of the bed, she pulled her son to sit next to her and, after a short break between asking him how was his life going and how about hers, Nathan’s mom finally spoke.

“So, what’s between you and Meredith?” she asked.

“Nothing.” he said softly, “Megan came back.”

“I didn’t asked about Megan, I asked about Meredith.” she put her hand on his shoulder.

“It’s so fucked up mom, you have no idea.”

“Language Nathan!” she reprimand him, “you can’t be unhappy, I know you loved Megan very much, but I saw you with Meredith today. It’s something I didn’t see a long time. You love her.”

“Yes, but she thinks I should be with Megan and to be honest, I think that too. She went through hell and I own her this.”

The loud noise of his beeper filled the room, Nathan jumped to the nightstand and started wearing his shoes. He looked at his mom, trying to say how happy he was to see her, but instead he just sat there for a moment, saying nothing.

“Go! They need you.”

“Please wait for me in cafeteria. It’s just a surgery I think, I’ll be there for two hours.” he said, kissing his mother forehead.

“Don’t worry about me, you have lives to save.”

****

Regina Riggs was sitting in the cafeteria, her suitcase was standing next to her while the lady was sipping hot tea with sugar and lemon. She looked around at all the doctors, nurses and medical stuff, they were always in move, running. Mrs Riggs glanced at the opening door, she knew that meddling in her son love life wasn’t very smart, but at once she rejected those thoughts and after a moment she shouted softly.

“Meredith!” she smiled, “would you join me?”

“Mrs Riggs, I thought you were with Nathan” she said, holding a cup of coffee in her hand.

“He’s having a surgery. We’ll meet here when he will finish.” she explained, “if you’re not busy, maybe we can drink coffee together?”

“With pleasure.” Meredith sat in front of the lady.

“I wanted to ask you some questions, but we don’t know each other.” she started, “you were dating my son?”

“Um yes. Sort of.” Meredith said.

“Did he left when Megan showed up?” Regina said, sipping her tea.

“I told him… I wanted him to be with Megan.” Meredith said, “I lost my husband, I loved him so much that sometimes I wanted him to be back.”

“But Nathan doesn’t love Megan. I saw you and him in the room. He looked at you like he never looked at any girl.”

“Mrs Riggs..”

“Let me finish please. I never messed up with Nathan’s love life, but when I see that he is miserable, I can’t stay aside. Do you have kids?”

“Yes. A boy and two girls.”

“I’m sure you’d do anything to make them happy. I want that for my boy. You know, when he was little, Nathan always wanted to protect people. He came home with bruises and scars, but always said “I protect them”. When he met Megan, he called me from Iraq and he was so excited. He really loved her then.”

“Nathan…” Meredith started, “he got a chance I’ll never get.”

“How do you know that if your husband came back… you’d want to be with him and not with Nathan? We change Meredith, we evolve. I don’t say you didn’t love your husband, but the point is that you can’t force Nathan to fall in love with Megan if he doesn’t want to.”

“Maybe you’re right, but I want him to try. Just try.”

“I don’t know if Nathan told you, but my husband died in an accident about 35 years ago. I loved him with all my heart. I cried at night, I visited his grave every day and I thought that I’d never love anyone else because if I did, I’d betray him. Six years later I met Sean. He was amazing for me and for Nathan, even though my son didn’t like him at first. Nathan is stubborn and always want to do everything his way.”

“I know what you want to tell me.” Meredith nodded, “but I can’t take him away from her, it’s too late.”

“There isn’t such thing as ‘too late’, Meredith, but there is something like ‘I wasted my chance’ and it is more heartbreaking” Regina smiled.

******  
Meredith knocked at the door, waiting for him to open it. She slided into the on call room, which became a home for him since Megan showed up. Meredith leaned against the door, trying to figure out how to start. Nathan was sitting on the bed, hiding his face into his hands, he was torn and it hurted him as never before. Meredith took a few steps towards him, she sat on the bed near him and took his hand into hers.

“I talked with your mom.” she said.

“Oh my God. I totally forgot about her.”

“She’s okay. Nathan…” she took a deep breath, “I love you.”

The meaning of her words filled the room, they looked at each other for some time before Meredith finally spoke.

“Your mom told me, about your dad and stepdad and everything. I realized, Nathan, I can’t lose you. I tried to avoid you, not to think about you. It’s impossible, but everytime I think I can be with you I think about Megan too.”

Nathan moved closer to her a little, he was so overwhelmed by everything she said, he just wanted to be with the woman he loved and all of this was just too painful. He pulled her closer and hugged her, kissing her head.

“I can’t pretend that I love her, I love you and there is nothing I can do about it.”

“What do we do with Megan then?” Meredith asked, hugging him tighter.

“We will tell her the truth.”

******

“Mom!” Nathan shouted, seeing his mom in the lobby.

“Nathan.” she caressed his cheek.

“I’m so sorry we haven’t had much time. I promise I’ll visit you soon with Mer and kids.”

“Meredith?” she tried not to smile.

“Yes mom.” he hugged her, “and thank you for what you said to her.” Nathan whispered into her ear.

“Me?” Regina smiled, “I just gave her a good advice.”

“Yes? What exactly?” he asked, looking at his mom.

“Don’t waste your chances.” Regina said, “don’t waste any of them.”


	30. I'm not a T-shirt

Nathan sat on the chair in front of Megan’s room. He was overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do next. His life was falling apart and he can’t do anything about it. Nathan looked at the glass walls, he’s past and future met in the presence. He hide his head into his hands and bend over the chair. If it ends like this, he won’t have any girlfriend or future.

*****

Meredith was changing Megan’s bandage, trying to be as gently as she can. If the situation would be different, she could be befriend with Megan easily.

“How it goes?” Megan asked, looking at Meredith.

“I’m almost done.” she smiled.

“When you finish…Can we talk”

“Yeah, sure. I’m done already.”

Meredith sat on the chair, taking off her gloves. She looked at the redhead girl in front of her, she couldn’t take away Nathan from her. She went too much in her life, lost to much to lose him too.

“I want you to be with Nathan. He deserve all happiness and he loves you.” Megan said, taking Mer’s hand into hers.

“No! I can’t do this to you. You have him first.” Meredith said.

“Please! He’s in love with you. I see it.”

Nathan entered the room, he was angry and for the first time his rage left his body and mind.

He stood in the door trying to express his feelings as clear as he could.

“Do I look like Nathan ‘T-shirt’ Riggs to you two?” he asked them, “I have feelings, I’m not a piece of cloths you can borrow one from the other. You treat me like a shirt and I really don’t like it. So if you don’t mind…I would chose who I love and with who I want to start something. If you excuse me, Nathan ‘T-shirt’ Riggs will leave you two so you can rethink your behavior.

Meredith and Megan looked at him leaving the room, after moment they looked at each other, laughing.

“Does he really said we need to ‘rethink’ our behavior?” Meghan asked, laughing.

“He should put it on a t-shirt” Meredith said, laughing too.


	31. I want it with you

Meredith was sitting in the attendings room, sipping her tea, when the door opened slightly. She lifted her sigh and looked at the man standing in the door. Nathan smiled, looking at her blue eyes, even though they weren’t together anymore, every time he saw her his heart made a flip.

“Hi.” he said, sitting in front of her.

“Hi. How is Megan?” she asked quickly.

“Good. She’s bored at home, but she’s trying to be brave.” he smiled.

“Soon she will be all better and will be able to find a job.” Meredith said politely.

“Meredith,” he said, grabbing her hand.

“Please, don’t! We talked about this and I don’t want to talk about it over and over again, because… it hurts.”

“I’m hurting too! Because I can’t be with woman I love!”

“You should fall in love with her again Nathan, Megan deserves it.” she stood up and after a moment left the room.

******

Meredith was kneeling in front of the toilet, she swear if she survived this, she would never eat sandwich from the cafeteria again. Meredith sat on the cold floor, trying to conquer her stomach. She looked up at the lightbulbs, trying to not to think about another nausea. Abruptly the doors opened freeing some cold air, Meredith stood up and walked out from the cabin. She looked at her reflection on the mirror, but at once looked in the other direction.

“Hi.” she heard a female voice.

“Hi.” she answered, looking at Megan, “what are you doing here?”

“I’m taking Nate for lunch and later we’re going to see the surgery together. It’s like best TV show for me.” she smiled.

“What surgery?” she asked, washing her hands.

“Yours I think, he said you don’t mind. I can’t sit at home anymore.”

“No, of course not. I already forgot I have one.”

“Are you okay? You’re a bit pale.” Megan said.

“Yeah, I ate a sandwich at the cafeteria.” she answered, “it wasn’t fresh I guess.”

“Hope you feel better soon.” she said, walking towards the cabin, “Meredith.” Megan said.

“Yes?” Meredith said almost leaving.

“I think it’s not just a sandwich. Try with a pregnancy test.” she said sadly.

“I’m sure it’s just the sandwich.” she smiled, leaving the bathroom.

*****

“So why are we here again?” Amelia asked, eating chips.

“We need to buy something.” Meredith answered, walking between the alley.

“What?”

“A pregnancy test.” Meredith whispered.

“What?” Amelia repeated.

“A PREGNANCY TEST!” Meredith shouted.

Amelia looked at Meredith with eyes wide open, she stopped eating and looked straight into Meredith’s eyes. Amelia took a step toward her and squeezed her arm, she pushed her gently toward the next alley.

“Pregnancy tests… alley four.” Amelia smiled.

“Thank you.” Meredith said, taking deep breath.

******

“How much time left?” Meredith asked, walking through the room.

“3 minutes.” Amelia answered.

“Is it even possible?” Maggie asked, looking at Mer.

“Do I have to remind you how often Nathan and I…”

“Okay, stop! Too many informations.” Amelia said, looking at the time.

“Don’t panic Meredith. I mean, if you’re pregnant…”

“I can’t be pregnant, he is with Megan and moved on. Even if I’m pregnant… I won’t tell him. Neither will you.” she looked at her sisters.

The sound of the timer filled the room, Meredith took a step to the counter where they put the test on. Meredith clenched her eyes hard, but after a moment she opened them, looking straight on the little white stick. She blinked once and once again after that, trying not to cry.

“Positive.” Meredith whispered to herself.

“Positive.” Maggie and Amelia repeated, standing behind her.

“I’ll have a baby.” Meredith said, turning around.

********

Meredith was scrubbing in the OR, the big news just overwhelmed her so much that she couldn’t focus on anything. She decided to make that one more operation and then go home to kids. Meredith prepared herself and wore clowes when she felt dizziness. She had those in previously pregnancies and she knew that it wouldn’t take long. The blond walked to the operation room, lifting her sight on the gallery. She saw Nathan and Megan sitting near the glass wall, she shook her head and took a scalpel from the nurse’s hand. Meredith approached her hand to the patient chest when suddenly she didn’t have energy to hold it, she closed her eyes and opened the again. After that Meredith stood unstable on the ground, next thing she saw was the lights of the OR.

*******

Meredith opened her eyes, trying to get used to the bright light. She turned her head to the other side, seeing the last person she was ready to see. Meredith lifted her body, trying to control her dizziness. She looked at the redhead woman, sitting in the chair near her bed.

“I guess, I was right.” Megan said, giving her a small smile.

“It doesn’t change anything.” Meredith said, putting her hand on the belly.

“It does. Everything.” Megan said, “you know that it’s the best that could happened?”

“You don’t mean it.”

“I am. You saved me from being in a relationship without love. He doesn’t love me, but he’s too good to admit it. He doesn’t want to leave a girl who was captured for 10 years.”

“Megan…”

“I’m not mad! You don’t get it. I’m happy that the guy who I once loved, now is happy again.” the tear of happiness fell from her eyes.

“I won’t tell him.” Meredith whispered.

“Why?”

“Because he is the one who need to make that decision. He need to choose.”

Both of the woman looked at each other, Meredith and Megan didn’t feel hate to themselves. They love the same man, but he loved just one woman. Megan sat on the edge of the bed, she put Meredith’s hand into hers and after a few seconds she finally spoke.

“I would never stand between Nathan and his happiness and you my dear are his happiness.” she said, leaving the room.

*******

Meredith was leaving the hospital, even though her sisters insisted her to stay just in case. She made them promise not to tell Nathan about it, even if he was the one who ran to help her in the OR. She was avoiding him since then, but she knew that it can’t be hidden forever. She was just about to walk to her car when she heard his soft voice behind her. She turned, trying to control herself, but her heart make a flip in the minute she saw his icy blue eyes.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked, approaching her.

“Yes. I heard you helped me there. Thank you.”

“Meredith.” he whispered, touching her cheek.

“Nathan…”

He caressing her cheek for a while, moving closer to her, he put his hands on her back, pulling her to his strong body. He touched her forehead with his, after a second he brushed her lips with his. They were standing in the parking lot, kissing when suddenly Meredith pulled him back.

“We can’t!” she whispered, breathing heavy.

“Meredith don’t you get it?! I’m in love in you! Not with Megan…in you. You are the woman I want to marry, the woman I want to get old with. I want you to be mother of my future children and I can’t imagine no one else. I want kids and I want them with you!”

“You want to have kids with me?”

“At least two. A boy and a girl.”

“With my three…”

“Our three.” he corrected her.

“It would be five.”

“I like big families.” he said, touching her hand.

“I need to tell you something.” she said quickly.

“I’m all ears.” he kissed her nose.

“I’m pregnant.”

Nathan took a step back to look at her face, now lit by the light of the lamp. She looked at him with those big blue eyes, the ones he couldn’t stop seeing in his dreams, he smiled to her, hearing the sentence in his head over and over again.

“We’re gonna have a baby?!” he shouted, lifting her up and spinning her for a moment.

“Yes, but if you don’t put me down… I’m gonna throw up.” she said, smiling.

“I’m gonna be a dad!” he shouted again.

Nathan pulled her closer to his warmth body, their lips met again in a hot kiss and after a moment, he lifted her again, not spinning this time. He kissed her until they both needed some air to breath.

“You will be the mother of my kids, just as I dreamed.” he said, hugging her tighter.


	32. Total eclipse of the heart

Nathan was stuck in the early morning traffic. He was sipping the coffee he bought minutes before at one of the gas station. The coffee tasted like oil, but he didn’t care about it that much. Nathan was on his way to the hospital, he wanted to tell Meredith what he felt. He had enough of being in this situation. Nathan thought about it all night, he couldn’t eat or sleep and the only thing keeping him alive was coffee. Nathan turned on the radio, the song filling the car when Nathan drove straight. His look went at the right, he saw a white point driving to him. Nathan stepped on the gas pedal trying to run away from the crush. He drove faster and after a moment his car wasn’t in range of the white car. Nathan slowed down a bit, but after a second he felt the strong force hitting back of the car. His chest hit the dashboard, he looked at right and the last thing he saw was the other car knocking his. 

******

“God, this day is so boring.” Amelia said, eating her sandwich.

“Don’t even start.” Maggie said, writing something into her patient chart.

“I miss Nathan.” Meredith said randomly, looking at her sisters, “I miss his laugh and the way he woke me up.”

“Too much information.” Maggie said.

“It wasn’t the way you are thinking right now.” Mer smiled, “he pulled me closer to him and kissed my neck, if it didn’t help he tickled me until I cried from the laugh.”

“Meredith,” Amelia started gently, “you ware the one who told him to be with Megan.”

“Because it was the right thing to do.” Mer answered, “then.”

“Maybe you should… just tell him this.” Maggie said.

“I can’t! It’s too late for that.”

“At least you can see him at work.” Amelia said.

“Yeah… speaking of that. He should have been here about 30 minutes ago.” Meredith looked at the clock.

“Meredith Grey, do you know his schedule?” Maggie gazed at her sister.

“You’re in love…” Amelia added.

“I am not!” Meredith shouted.

“Well, you are. You just need to admit it to yourself.” Maggie said, taking her charts.

The three sisters exited the room, they were laughing at Mer for some time, but both of them knew, that these two should be together and find their way to each other as soon as possible.

*******

Alex walked to the ER room, it wasn’t a busy day, but he had a feeling that it was gonna change soon. He was standing in front of the door when one of the ambulance arrived, he walked to the paramedic who was just about to transfer the patient.

“Forty year old man, problems with breathing after car crush. He has a collapsed lung and several broken ribs. Before he passed out he said that his blood type is A.”

“Thanks.” Alex said, pulling the bed with the patient.

They drove to the first free ER room, the patient was stable enough to make basic tests. Alex was about to put an ivy into the man’s arm, when the patient woke up, he grabbed Alex’s arm. He removed the oxygen mask, when Alex took a quick look at his face… he was the last person he had thought about.

“Riggs.” Alex whispered, “help! I need help here!” he shouted, trying to save his coworker’s life.

******

Amelia was walking through the hospital corridors, she was in a rush after Alex told her to be there fast. She ran to the ER room, wearing her gloves.

“What do we have?” she asked.

“It’s Riggs. He’s having problems breathing and I think he has a bruised heart.”

“Why didn’t you page Maggie?” Amelia asked.

“Because she’s with Meredith and the last time she was witnessing Derek’s death. I don’t want Mer to see that. For now.”

“Alex… we need to page Maggie. Now!” Amelia shouted, looking at the monitor.

*****

“I need to go to the ER.” Maggie said, starting to run.

“I’ll go with you. I’m bored anyway.” Meredith said.

Both of the doctors where in the middle of the fight for Nathan’s life, his parameters were low and the second lung collapsed, they were waiting for Maggie, praying for her to be alone. After minutes since they paged her, the door opened loudly, Maggie entered the room.

“What do we have?” she asked.

“It’s Nathan. He had a car accident. His lungs collapsed, we think that he has a heart damage also. We…” Amelia didn’t finish the sentence, looking at the other doctor who entered the room, “Meredith.” she whispered.

******

Meredith stood in the door frame, her heart was racing, her hands were sweating. She looked at the table were Nathan’s body laid without life. Mer tried to stood straight, but she felt like her legs became lighter.

“Alex! Take Meredith outside.” Maggie shouted, “I need Amelia here.”

Alex took off his gloves, he lifted Meredith’s body a bit so she could walk, but after he did that the shout getting out from her chest.

“Nathan! Nathan, please don’t leave me! Please!” she tried to get rid from Alex’s embrace, “I love you!” Meredith cried.

“Alex, take her out of here!” Amelia shouted.

*********

Meredith was sitting in the attendings room while Alex was making her a tea. She was shaking, her eyes were closed and all she could say was ‘he can’t die’. Alex sat next to her, holding the hot cup in his hands.

“Mer. Please, drink that.”

“He can’t die.” she said, looking into his eyes.

“He won’t. Maggie and Amelia are the best here. You know that.”

“I didn’t tell him that I love him. I said that a thousand times to Derek. He knew that, but Nathan… I never said that to him and now…now it’s too late.” she cried.

“Meredith.” Alex started,”he won’t die. I’m sure he knows that you love him. Everyone, except you knew that.”

“But… I can’t lose him too.” she cried again.

*****

“He’s stable.” Maggie said, looking at Meredith.

“Can I see him?”

“Yes, but he’s sleeping now. He will be awake by tomorrow.” Amelia said.

Meredith walked into the room, his face was lit by the reflexes of the moon. He looked so peaceful, that for a moment she didn’t want to wake him. She sat at the edge of the bed, holding his hand into hers.

“I didn’t tell you it before. I would never have told you that, but I lost one love and I don’t want to lose another one. I love you Nathan.”

Meredith took a place next to him, she put her head on his chest. She listened to his heartbeat, trying to focus to not to cry, when she felt his hand on her head.

“Nathan.” she smiled.

“I almost needed to die to hear that you love me.” he said, trying to get up.

“No! You need to rest.” she gently pulled him away “I should call Megan.”

“Later. Now, you need to kiss me”

Meredith put her hand on his chest gently, she brushed his lips with his. After moment her tongue entered his mouth, the brush became more passionate, more hot that they expected. She pulled herself away from him for a moment, trying to take some air.

“I love you Nathan.” she whispered, putting her head on the place between his arm and neck.

“I love you too Meredith Grey.” he said, kissing her forehead, “and I always will.”


	33. That's what friends are for

Meredith was standing near the column, sipping her second glass of champagne when she heard a little noise behind her. She turned a little to see what happened when suddenly she saw Nathan standing in front of her.

“How are you?” he said, looking straight into her blue eyes.

“Good, and you?” she answered politely.

“I was thinking… maybe we can change the scenery?”

“You know that Amelia is my sister and Owen is my friend? I won’t leave their wedding because of you.”

“I don’t want you to leave… well maybe I want, but just for a moment…”

“Remember how our last ‘moment’ ended?”

“But which one of those four we had?” he grinned.

“Nathan..” she started, “it was just one time…”

“Four times…”

“Four times, but it’s never gonna happen again.”

“Okay, I get it. You’re afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” she looked at him.

“That you will fall in love with me.”

“It was just sex, Nathan.”

“Prove it!” he joked.

“Come on!”

Nathan looked at Meredith with surprise in his sight, he had just teased her, trying to make her feel comfortable with him in the same room after their moment in her car. After a second he grabbed her by the hand, still looking at her beautiful face, and he finally spoke.

“I was kidding, we don’t have to…” he murmured.

“Oh, now you are afraid? I tell you something mister….you are not the only one who can show some amazing skills….and I’m not talking about surgeries here.” she said, took a step toward him, “now grab that champagne and we’ll meet by your car.”

*****

“Have you seen Mer?” Maggie asked, sipping another glass of wine.

“No. Maybe she’s outside” Alex answered.

“And Nathan? Have you seen Nathan?” she asked again.

“Nope. Do you need something specific? Maybe I can help?” he said, holding her up.

“Can you help me finding Mer? Amelia wanted to throw up the bouquet and I want Mer to be a part of it because we both need happiness, you know?” she babbled.

“Come with me outside…. to get some fresh air.”

Alex walked behind Maggie, hoping that she was sober enough to walk outside without fallin or doing other ‘drunk stuff’.

******

“Do you really want this?” Nathan asked, unzipping her dress.

“Shut up and kiss me.” she said as the answer.

Meredith kissed him slowly, but after a moment their lips crushed passionately, they couldn’t stop until one of them needed some air, Nathan looked at Meredith, at her glowing skin and full breasts. He lifted his hand up, touching her cheek, caressed it slowly with his thumb. Meredith’s sight stopped at his icy blue eyes, now even more bright, lit by the reflex of the moon breeze into the car. She slowly took his shirt off , kissing his neck and later his chest. Nathan moaned quietly, his hands reached her arms, pulled her a little so he could get to her breasts. He kissed her neck, breasts and later a piece of her belly, when suddenly they heard some familiar voices coming from outside of the car.

“Shh,” Meredith whispered, “someone’s there.”

“Don’t move, so they won’t see us.” Nathan panted.

****

Alex walked to Nathan’s car, he knew it would be closed, but Maggie insisted to look in every car on the parking lot. She was drunk and all he wanted was just put her in bed, so he can come back to the party. Alex stood in front of the passenger side door when he saw a little movement inside, he put his face closer to the window and at once jumped away. Alex thoughts ran quickly through his head when he analyzed what to do. Maggie was close enough to see them and Alex knew that it would end with a big sister fight. He turned around and after a moment and a deep breath he walked towards Maggie.

“She’s not here.”

“Are you sure?” she mumbled.

“Yes, now maybe we can find a good place to sleep for you.”

“I’m not drunk.”

“Of course you’re not drunk.” Alex said, “you are just tired.”

“Yes, yes! I’m tired.” Maggie said, walking with him.

*****

“We’re so screwed.” Nathan said, wearing a shirt.

“It was Alex, he won’t tell anything.” she said, still sitting on him, “zip my dress.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t like me, the thing I brought you here won’t help me either.” he explained, zipping the dress.

“You didn’t force me to do this, besides I was the one who brought YOU here so…” she kissed him once again, before she exited the car.

“Yes, I can agree with that.”

Nathan grabbed her by the hand, pulling her closer to his warm body once again, the touch made her shiver even if she wasn’t cold. She looked at his eyes again, trying not to fall for him even harder. Meredith took a step towards him, stopping inches before his face, she took a deep breath and after a second her lips touched his, it was a breeze, but it was enough to make Nathan’s heart beat faster.

“I…” Meredith started.

“Meredith!” they both heard the shout. “we need to talk.” Alex said, entering the room again.

*****

“What’s up?” Meredith said, walking in.

“Since when you and Riggs?” Alex asked quickly. “Do you know that your sister likes him too?”

“First: who I have sex with, isn’t your damn business and second how do you know that Maggie likes him?” Meredith asked.

“Well, she was talking about him the whole time before I managed her to go sleep.”

“Me and Nathan…”

“You are so in love Mer.”

“I’m not!” she shrugged.

“When was the last time you had sex in the car? Did he make you to do it? If so he’s so dead right now.”

“Alex! I was the one who brought him there.” Meredith explain.

“You?”

“Yes. I like him…. Well, you asked when was the last time I had sex in the car? It was a week before the wedding. In my car. In the hospital parking.” she blushed.

“Okay, slow down.” Alex said, sitting on the chair, “so it’s just sex?”

“Yes! NO! I don’t know.” Meredith sat next to him.

“Your love life is fucked up, do you know that?”

“Yeah, but I need a favor.”

“I won’t cover you while you and Mcsomething… you know.”

“Not that! I want you and Nathan try to be friends. I know you don’t like him much, but I want you to try.”

“Deal, but you owe me! I saved you from the biggest sister fight in your life.”

“Thanks!” she said, watching him leave the room.

*****

Nathan was sitting in the cafeteria, sipping his second coffee of the day. He was catching up with his charts when he saw a man standing over him, he lifted his gaze and saw Alex, with the cup in his hand.

“Is this place taken?” he asked.

“No.” Nathan answered.

“I want to talk.”

“Yeah..”

“You and Mer… Is it something serious?”

“I hope so.”

“Okay. In that case, there are a few things you need to know.” Alex said, looking straight at Nathan, “if you hurt her, I’ll kill you. If she will cry because of you- I’ll kill you. If you will treat her like a ‘one-night stand’…”

“You will kill me.” Nathan ended.

“Yes.”

“Now, I’ll tell you something. You don’t have to like me, but we both love Meredith, we care about her and we know that she would be happy, seeing us as friends. Maybe we just try and see what happen?”

“Deal, but I do this only for Mer.”

“Me too,” Nathan said.


	34. Don't ruin it again

Meredith stood in front of the hospital, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Cold air filled her lungs when she heard his voice. For a moment she didn’t know if the voice was heard only in her head or if he stood next to her. Meredith turned around and lifted her head a bit. She met his eyes just in the moment he smiled.

“Hi!” he said, going towards her.

“Hi.” she whispered. “what are you doing here?”

“I came to see you. I brought Farouk back, he’s with Megan now.”

“She must be so happy to have him here.”

“Meredith…” he grabbed her hand.

“Please don’t.” she took her hand back.

“I went there-” he started, “went there to bring him back for her, so she can be happy…Happy without me, Meredith.”

“Nathan you can’t just bring him back and leave her…”

“I can!” he shouted, “we are not the same people Mer, she doesn’t love me, she can’t share dreams with me, because she has her own. I won’t be with her just to drown out my guilt.”

“Nathan, she is she love of your life! She has her son beside her and all she needs now is you! I can’t stand between you two.”

“But I’m not in love with her!! I love you!” he shouted. “I love you.”

Meredith looked at him with eyes wide open, she closed them for a moment. She loved him too, but the main reason she fight with this feel was Megan. This girl went too much and Meredith didn’t want to be the reason of her pain. She took a step back, trying to avoid his sight.

“But I don’t love you.” she said.

******

Meredith walked to her house, trying to erase Nathan and his face from her head. The scent of waffles with jam hit her as soon as she walked into the kitchen. Meredith stood at the entrance of the kitchen, looking at her sister-in-law putting some food on her plate.

“Hi.” Meredith say, walking towards Amelia.

“Hi!” Amelia answered, “do you want some?”

“Yeah.” Meredith mumbled.

“Hard day?” Amelia asked, putting some food on her plate.

“It was… ugh.”

“So, yes.” Amelia said, giving her a small smile.

“I told Nathan that I don’t love him because I didn’t want him to leave Megan.”

“Wow! Waffles could be not enough. Ice cream?”

“Yes please.” Meredith said, trying not to cry.

Amelia walked towards the fridge, taking a big box of ice cream. She gave Meredith a spoon and after a second her voice filled the room.

“I’m not the best in it, but… Can I give you an advice?”

“Yeah, it can’t be worst.”

“You love Nathan and he loves you. Never ever let anyone steal your happiness Meredith, I let that happened to me and look where I am today.”

“It could be worst.” Meredith said, smiling.

******

A few days later….

Meredith was walking by the hospital corridors, trying to figure out where her life was heading, when she heard a loud noise coming from the hall. She ran towards the place where a few others doctors were already helping a pregnant woman. Meredith looked at her, she was in labor and her screams were heard in the second floor.

“I’m dr Grey. What’s your name?”

“Sue, I can’t…it hurts so much.” she screamed.

“You can do it. I will be here the whole time.” Meredith said, squeezing her hand.

*****

Sue was sitting in her bed, holding her newborn baby, a girl named Sara. She was holding her, kissing her little head with a big smile on her face. Meredith walked into the room, trying not to interrupt this sweet moment, but after she stood in the head of the bed, checking her parameters.

“Should we call someone?”

“No. I’m alone.”

“And… the father?”

“I left him, he was…not for me.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“No it’s okay. He was married and I didn’t want to ruin his family. His wife went through so much. She was depressed, she tried to kill herself. He has a son, Jaden, he is a sweet boy and didn’t deserve that, I let go. I said that I don’t want him to be the father of my child.” she took a deep breath, “I didn’t ruin his life… I ruined mine.”

Meredith took a step towards Sue, she exactly knew what she felt, she went through this every time she thought about Nathan. Amelia was right, she should have fought for her happiness, but she chose the second option: ruining her life.

*****

Meredith was walking to her home, after what she heard from Sue and all the thoughts she had in her head, she decided to take a walk instead of driving the car. The night was warm and she could see the stars, which was rare in the city sky. Meredith was just about to take out her keys from the purse when she saw him. Nathan was sitting on her steps.

“I love you and I want to be with you. Do you want that too?” he asked quickly, seeing her.

“Nathan…” she said, taking A few steps toward him.

Meredith stood in the same step as him, trying to say what she prepared for that moment. She played that scene in her head millions of times, but now… having him in front of her, softly touching her waist and looking into her eyes, it was too hard to say anything. She lift her body to reach his face, she brushed his lips softly, when at once he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her closer just to crush her lips with his. After a second their tongues were dancing in the passionate dance of love.

Meredith opened her eyes and looked to the left, where she saw a little girl standing in the door. She stopped kissing Nathan, leaving him breathless.

“Zola!” she said surprised.

“Hi mom!” she said, smiling.

“Hi. I’m on my way to home sweetie.”

“Bailey wants to eat pizza for dinner.”

“We’ll see.” Meredith said.

“Hi! I’m Zola.” she said to Nathan.

“I’m Nathan. Nice to meet you Zola.”

“Would you like to eat pizza with us?” she asked politely.

“I would love to, but I don’t know if your mom would let me.” he answered, looking into Meredith’s eyes.

“I see I don’t have a chance with you two.” she smiled.

“Yay!” Zola shouted, running to her brother.

“I guess you are invited for a dinner.” Mer said, looking at him.

“I guess so.” he answered, grabbing her hand into his. “I love you Meredith.”

“I love you too Nathan. I love you so much.”

Meredith kissed him softly, after a second she pulled him towards her house, where all three of her children were waiting for pizza and to meet the man who makes their mom happy as never before. Meredith didn’t know what made it easier for her to take another step, but she knew that she was ready to fight for her happiness without ruining anybody’s life.


	35. Déjà vu

Addison walked to the Grey-Sloan hospital like nothing had changed since the day she left. She looked around at the hall, busy nurses were answering patient questions, trying to catch up with all the work, doctors were running through the one room to another and the waiting room was full of patients waiting for their turn. Addison walked through the nurse station, trying to catch the attention of one of the nurses who was talking to her phone.

“Excuse me.” she said, standing in front of her.

“Addison?”

Addison turned around at the sound of the female voice, she looked into Amelia’s blue eyes, when one tear fell from her eyelashes. She was supposed to yell at her, that she went through it alone, that she was alone when she woke up from the brain surgery, but instead of that Addison took a step towards her and hugged Amelia as tight as she could.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Addie said, holding Amelia’s head in her hands.

“I didn’t want… I didn’t want you to suffer when I would be gone…”

“Amelia… you’re my sister, for God sake!”

“I was, Addie, now I don’t know who I am anymore, but I know I’m so happy to see you!”

“Now, since my idea of killing you is gone… you need to tell me all about what happened here. I want details and as many dirty secrets as you have.” Addie said, surrounding Amelia with her arm.

*****

“You are kidding!” Addie shouted, “Callie lives in New York?”

“Yup. Arizona got full custody of Sofia, but now she lives with Callie there.”

Addison looked at Amelia once again, she seemed different, but something told her she was still the crazy Amelia she knows. After a few minutes of silence where both of them were sipping their hot coffee, Addison sight turned to Amelia’s hand.

“Where is your ring?” she asked.

“We… me and Owen…. It’s long and complicated.”

“I like long talks with you so bring it on. Do I have to kill him?”

“No!” Amelia smiled, “it was our decision.”

“So how about Meredith? I heard about the award.”

“Yeah, She will be famous now. Shame she lost another love…”

“She was with someone?”

“Yeah, Nathan, he was great.”

“Please don’t tell me he’s death!”

“No! He’s with Owen’s sister.”

“Owen has a sister?”

“I think I need to tell you a few more things…”

“Well, it looks like I missed a few things indeed.” Addie smiled.

******

Meredith was walking to the attendings room when she saw a man standing near the front door. He was tall, his dark hair had a few grey hair and she thought that he knew him. She shook her head trying to avoid that thought in her head. Meredith was still suffering, after Nathan left she couldn’t find joy in her life, even if she won the prestigious award, Mer didn’t feel like a happy person. The happiness was gone when Nathan decided to spend his life with Megan.

Meredith looked at the door again, she was wondering who the guy was or what would he want here. Who he visited… She stood in front of the nurses station when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She slowly turned to meet an icy blue sight, Meredith blinked a few times before she understood that the man she was seeing wasn’t a ghost or her imagination.

“Nathan…” she whispered.

“I wanted to congratulate you… a Harper Avery Award!” he said, holding a big bouquet of roses.

“What are you doing here?”

“I already told you.” he said.

“But… you and Megan…”

“I told you before and I will tell you now…” he said, holding her hand, “I don’t love Megan because the only woman I love is you.”

“Nathan…” she whispered, closing her eyes.

*****

“So Owen has a sister and she was with Nathan, who is currently in love with Meredith?” Addison asked Amelia for the third time.

“Yes, they live in Malibu now.” Amelia answered, walking with Addison through the corridors.

“So, in this case, who is that guy who is holding Meredith’s hand?”

Amelia looked at the same point where Addison look went only seconds ago, she looked closer to see who the guy was. Amelia opened her mouth without knowing it, she was so surprised that for a moment she couldn’t say a word, but after asmall pause, she finally whispered.

“It’s Nathan.” Amelia said, looking at her friend.

******

Addison walked towards Nathan and Meredith, she was just curios about her ex husband’s wife life and that curiosity grew even bigger when she saw Meredith’s reaction to her visit. They had never been friends, except for the time they both pretended that they were, but Addison wanted to know if the guy she picked was good for Meredith. She owed it to Derek.

“Hi! I’m Addison. Meredith’s dead husband’s ex wife.” she shook nathan’s hand, “and you must be the guy who’s been screwing my ex dead husband’s wife”

Meredith and Amelia looked at Addison. She wasn’t furious or mad and Nathan, she didn’t even know him, but she was a bit protective towards Derek’s wife and her family.

“Addison!” Amelia said, “what are you doing?”

“I think I have déja vu here.” Meredith said, looking at Addison.

“I just wanted to say hi.” Addison said, giving them a small smile.

“You say hi in very weird way, but I’m Nathan.” he lifted his hand.

“Addison Montgomery. I worked here… a long time ago.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

Nathan looked into Addison’s eyes, they started wrong, but he felt that she was just protective towards Meredith and he liked that. He wanted to make sure she was safe with the people who loved her.

“Seriously?” Meredith said with sarcasm in her voice, “come with me.” he grabbed Nathan’s hand and pulled him towards an on call room.

*****

“What was that?” Amelia said, looking at Addison.

“I wanted to make sure that she will move her ass and tell him what she feels. You know Mer, she wants to have things she can’t have.”

“Did you just play her?” Amelia asked.

“Yes. I know that Derek would want her happiness and even if we’re not best friends forever, I want her happiness too.” Addie said, looking at Amelia. “now, if I play Cupid… where is Owen Hunt when I need him?”

“Addison!” Amelia said with a serious voice.

“I’m kidding!” she smiled. “I won’t talk with him with you by my side.” she whispered.

“What did you say?” Amelia asked.

“Nothing. Can we go for another coffee?”

*****

Meantime in the oncall room…

“What was that?” Meredith asked, looking at Nathan.

“What?” he asked.

“You like redheads now?”

“I’m not… I came here for you and you just…” he paused, looking at her, “are you jealous?”

“What!? Of course not!”

Nathan put the flowers on the night stand, he took a few steps towards Meredith and after a second his hand tucked a straight lock behind her ear. She closed her eyes when his hand touched her skin, she almost melted when she felt his warm touch on her. Meredith opened her eyes when he pulled her closer to his strong body. She lifted her hands and placed them on his neck, caressing it slowly. They felt a spark between them when their lips connected, Meredith moaned when Nathan’s tongue slowly entered her lips. After seconds he lifted her up with one hand, tracing the path to the bed in front of them. He gently put Meredith on the bed, kissing her neck, after a moment he suddenly stopped and looked into her blue eyes.

“Why did you stop?” she asked, breathing heavily.

“I love you Meredith and there isn’t any way you could get rid of me this easy.”

“Who said I want to get rid off you anyway?” she smiled, giving him a small kiss. “I love you too.”


	36. Futur, past and the love between

Meredith was sitting on the porch, looking at the blue colored waves hitting on the shore. She looked around to make sure Sammy was safe on the edge of the beach. He was jumping into the water and later running like it was the coldest bath he ever had. They had him for almost 10 years now, he wasn’t a big dog, but his fur was all over the house. The light hair were the decoration on every carpet they had in the house. Meredith smiled when she remember how Sammy got to their house, but after a moment her thoughts went somewhere else. She reminded herself how she met the love of her life and she smiled involuntarily, Meredith thought about that time, when he husband wasn’t her husband and she was grieving after Derek’s death. She thought how her life could be if she hadn’t gone to Joe’s bar that night.

“I brought you some tea.” she heard his voice. “what were you thinking about?” Nathan asked, putting a cup on the table.

“About how me met.” she said, taking his hand into hers.

“Hmm, you mean when you hated me because of no reason?” he laughs.

“I did not! It was just hard to…”

“Yes, it was hard to take you on that drink.” he said, kissing her hand.

“But, you did it and look… we have a house in Malibu, five kids and a dog. It was worth it!”

“Of course it was… and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Nathan sat behind her and pulled her closer to his warm body, even though they had been married for 15 years now, she always surprised him. He hugged her tiny body and put a kiss on her hair. She was right, it was hard to take Meredith Grey on a date, but it was totally worth it.

*****

20 years earlier…

“Would you like to go on a drink?” Nathan asked, looking at Meredith.

“I’m a friend of Owen Hunt so… no.”

“I wasn’t asking about Hunt, I was asking about you.” he said.

“No… I have kids.”

“Kids? I thought you were a sexy single.”

“You were wrong then.”

“Doctor Grey…” he said, looking at her once again, “I’m not asking you to marry me, I’m asking to go for a drink with me. It’s not a crime.”

“Maybe, but..”

“One drink and I’ll leave you alone.” he said, smiling.

“One drink and I’m gone.”

The bar was dark and crowded, the scent of cigarette smoke and sweet drinks filled the room and hit them right away when they entered the bar. They chose the table in the corner so no one could see them from the enter, but they could see everyone. They ordered the drinks and after a moment they were sitting at Joe’s without a clue what they were doing there.

“How old are your kids then?” he asked.

“Zola is 8 years old, Bailey is 6 and Ellis is 2 year old.”

“You have fun with them. I’m an only child. Never had siblings except Owen. We were like brothers.”

“You and Owen?” she shrugs, “and now he wants you out of this hospital?”

“It’s long story and I’m too sober to talk about it with you.”

“So you just end it here? You ask me on a drink and later when I want to know you better you give it up?” Meredith said.

“I want you to know only good facts about me… for now.” he smiled.

“Go on. I want to know those “good facts” then.” she answered, sipping her drink.

“Okay, my dad died when I was 10-”

“That’s a good fact?”

“Let me finish…” he said, smiling.

“Okay, sorry.” she smiled too.

“After his death I met Owen, we become friends and we went to Iraq together. My mom lives in New Zealand with her new husband. They have a few sheeps and a little house. I visit them when I can. I had a dog when I was little, his name was Boo. I always ran after him and screamed “Boo! BOO!” and once my neighbor almost got a heart attack because I scared her.”

Meredith looked at him, his face was lit by the light of the candle standing between them, he smiled every time he was talking about his dog and family and that made Meredith look at him different. She lifted her hand and took an eyebrow from his cheek, he looked at her and when their sight met, they both felt that sparkle jump between them. She put her hand back on the glass, trying to avoid his sight.

“I was at war zone too, it isn’t a good memory, so I’ll skip that. Uhm, I always want to get an action man for Christmas, but I never get one. Uhm, Naomi Marshall was the first girl I kissed… and that’s it I think.” he lifted his sigh on Meredith. “would you tell me something about you? or will you just let me talk and make myself stupid in front of you?”

“I’ll save you.” she smiled, “I have three kids as you know, my husband died in a car accident, my mother was Ellis Grey, a brilliant surgeon. I had a sister, her name was Lexie, she died in plane crush, now I have another sister, Maggie, she’s doctor, Webber’s daughter. I have Amelia too, she’s my husband sister.”

“Wow!” he interrupted her, “lots of family members in one place.”

“Yeah.” she looked at her drink.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad.” he said, “I can tell you one of my stupid childhood stories if that makes you feel better.”

“I would love that. she smiled.”

“So, when I was fourteen…”

Meredith was listening to every part of his story, trying to figure out in her head why Hunt was so pissed about him. She had to admit that Nathan made her laugh so easily that she couldn’t barely breath. She lifted her sigh and looked at him once again, the words slipped from her mouth like she wasn’t the one who said them.

“Can we go to your place?”

“Yeah sure.” he answered.

******

Meredith slowly opened her eyes, trying to get used to the morning sun, she stretched her muscles before she finally sat on the bed. She turned a little on the left and after her eyes get used to morning sun, she finally saw him, he was laying on the couch near the window. The couch didn’t look very comfortable, but Meredith hoped it wasn’t true. She stood up and after a few steps she was already near him, Meredith kneeled and touched his cheek. Nathan murmured something quietly, but after a second she could see his icy blue eyes looking at her.

“Hi stranger.” she smiled.

“Hey you!” he stretched. “are you hungry? I can make breakfast.”

“I would love to stay, but…”

“Kids…” he finished.

“Thank you for listening me.” she said, putting her hand in his.

“It was my pleasure.” he answered.

“We see each other at work then.” she said.

“It looks so.” he answered.

She wore her jacket, releasing her hair from under the material, he couldn’t stop staring at her and her natural beauty. After a second he whispered to himself: “turn around, just one more time, just turn around.”

Meredith was just about to leave, when she turned to him once again. Her hot lips touched his with such passion and roughness that Nathan almost fell on the couch again. They didn’t sleep together that night, but that kiss was for him something more that thousands nights with her, it was a promise for good days to come, he just needed to wait for them, just like he will wait for her.

*****

“You’re lucky that I’m very patient.” he whispered to her ear.

“You’re lucky to have me.” she smiled, not looking at him.

“Oh right, doctor Grey. I’m the luckiest man alive..” he said, started to tickle her.

A little laugh burst from Meredith’s mouth, she started to wince under his touch, just to laugh again right after. He hold her tight so she couldn’t fell from the sofa, placed on their little porch. When he finished his sweet torture, they both looked at the blue color of the sea. Nathan kissed her forehead, trying to memorize it, just like the other moments from their common life.

At once both of them heard the loud bark coming from the other side of the beach, they both looked in the same direction just to see Sammy playing with the waves. Their smiled and Nathan jumped from the sofa and after a moment he was near the dog, trying to get him wet. Meredith looked at him, at the love of her life, and she smiled to herself again, she was where she needed to be, she jumped from the sofa and ran towards Nathan and Sammy. After they played with Sammy, Nathan hugged Meredith from behind, he placed small kisses on her neck just to trace the path to her ear. He kissed it, hugging her even tighter.

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me Meredith.”

“I love you Nathan… and I’m so happy I went with you for that drink.”

“I love you too babe.” he hugged her, looking at the sunset.


	37. First Christmas with you

Meredith was sitting in the kitchen, sipping her hot, morning coffee when she felt his touch on her neck. He kissed her quickly, after that he poured some fresh coffee in his favorite mug and sit in front of her. It was their ritual and both of them loved it even more every day. Meredith looked at Nathan, who was just about to read the morning paper, he was calm and his face was fresh shaved. She lifted her hand and touched his skin, he looked at her and after a moment he put a soft kiss on the hand that was caressing his skin.

“What do we do on Christmas?” she asked, coming back to her coffee.

“You want me here on Christmas?” he asked surprised.

“Of course! You don’t want to spend Christmas with us?” she asked.

“I’d really love to, but I don’t know if the kids want it too.” he answered.

“They love you Nathan. I’m sure they would love to spend that time with you.”

“I hope so.” he answered.

*****

Meredith was walking with her kids on the park, that was one of not so many days they had just for each other and Meredith decided to spend it outside. She wanted to ask them if they didn’t mind Nathan to celebrate Christmas with them. Meredith stopped by the bench, putting the stroller in front of her, she covered Ellis with another blanket and after a moment she finally spoke. 

“I have a question for you all.” she started. “I know it was a very hard year for you and I don’t want to push you to anything you don’t want to do.”

“Like to eat vegetables?” Bailey asked.

“No smart guy, vegetables are healthy.” she said, hugging her son. “I wanted to ask you if you would want to spend Christmas with Nathan in our house. He loves you all so much and doesn’t know if you would like him there… If you don’t want to it’s okay. We won’t be mad at you, just want you to feel comfortable.”

Meredith looked at her children, they both had serious faces and for a moment she was afraid of their answer. She almost regretted that talk and she was just about to drop the subject and left it unspoken when Bailey spoke.

“But…” Bailey started. “how will Santa know where Nathan is? And what if he won’t bring him any present?”

“Can we give him a present?” Zola asked.

“Yes, he will be very happy if you make something for him and don’t worry, we will let Santa know where he is, so he can bring presents also for him.”

“I can’t wait for Christmas to come now.” Zola said.

After that words all of them looked up, at the dark sky filled with small clouds covering the stars. They looked at it for some time when suddenly the first snowflake fell from the sky. Meredith closed her eyes and hugged her kids tighter. She felt the wet spot on the place where the first flake reached her skin.

“Mommy.” Zola said.

“Yes, sweetheart.”

“Do you think daddy is looking at us right now?”

Meredith looked down to see the brown eyes of her daughter, she kissed her forehead and after a moment she gave her the answer she truly believed in.

“I think…:” Meredith started, “that daddy is looking at us all the time.”

“Me too.” Zola said, “and you know… I think he brought Nathan for us so we won’t be so sad since he’s no longer with us.”

Meredith looked at her kids once again, she was afraid to jump into another relationship, but after she met Nathan, nothing was really the same. She didn’t know if it was the words Zola said only minutes ago or the thing Derek couldn’t be there with them, but after she closed her eyes, a tears fell from her eye just like the snowflakes from the sky.

******

“So they really don’t mind?” he asked for the third time.

“If you ask me once again, I’ll go with you to daycare so you can check yourself.”

“Okay, okay…” he said, smiling.

“What are you smiling about mister?”she asked.

“I never had a proper Christmas since my dad died… So it’s my first Christmas since a long time.”

“That’s why you will spend it with us.” she smiled, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

“Can’t wait for it.” he said, kissing her forehead.

*******

The house was lit by the colorful lights, the door was covered with snow and Christmas decorations. Nathan was sitting on the couch, trying to do Zola’s hair, when Meredith came out of the kitchen with grimace on her face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Amelia is preparing the food and she threw me out from the kitchen.”

“Did you want to help her?” he asked.

“Yes.” Meredith said, looking at him.

“That’s why she threw you away, but it’s good because I need help with Zola’s hair.”

“I think Santa will have a present for you.” Zola said, when Meredith switched Nathan on the couch.

“Yeah. So I was nice all year. That’s good.” Nathan smiled.

“Yes, but I don’t think if you’ll like it. It’s not big present.”

“I’m sure I‘ll love it because Santa always knows what people want.” he kissed her forehead.

Nathan went to the kitchen, leaving Meredith with Zola. Meredith had been doing her hair for some time when the little girl started to get bored. She looked at her mother and after a moment of silent and not moving she finally spoke.

“Mom.” she started. “do you think that Nathan will like a present that doesn’t fit to any boxes on the world?”

“What do you mean by “doesn’t fit”, sweetie?” she asked.

“I can’t tell you for now.” Zola said, walking to the kitchen.

******

They were sitting by the table with delicious food in front of them. Their faces were lit by the warm light of the candles. The Christmas tree smells like forest, there were so many gifts under the tree. When they finished the dinner, everyone sat on the couch in the living room: Meredith, Nathan, the kids, Maggie, Amelia and Owen, all surrounded by the love.

“Who will be first to unpack the gifts?” Meredith asked, looking at her kids.

“Nathan.” Zola said, looking at her brother.

“Yes. We want to give him a present first.” he said, standing next to Zola.

Everyone in the room looked at the siblings. It was weird that they didn’t want to open their present first and what was even more suspicious, they wanted Nathan do it first. All the guests looked at the man, sitting in front of the kids. He was waiting for a box or any other package, but they only thing he got was two children looking at each other.

“Everything alright?” he asked after moment.

“Yes, but we couldn’t pack it in the box. It’s not the present after all, we wanted to ask you…” Zola looked at Meredith, “we wanted to ask you if we could call you… dad.”

“We really want to call you that because we think that our dad would be happy that you are good for us and for our mom.”

The room became silent, all the people looked from one site to another, the kids looked at Nathan as well, he didn’t say anything, but after a moment he stood up and took a few step towards them. He kneeled and hugged them both, they stood still and after few minutes he finally spoke.

“This is the best Christmas of my life, I would be honored if I could call you my kids.” he said, kissing their forehead.

When everyone had wiped the tears from their eyes, the whole family sat again by the table. Zola and Meredith were sitting at the same end.

“It was were nice of you to ask Nathan.” Meredith said.

“We thought that his Christmas must be special and he is special for you and for us too. Daddy won’t mind.” Zola said.

“I think that too.” Meredith smiled looking at her daughter.


	38. Trying to save me

Meredith was laying on her bed with Nathan’s hand around her waist, he was still sleeping while she didn’t want to go to work. For the first time she wanted to stay in bed with the love of her life. Meredith gently turned around, she put her hand on his cheek and after a moment she kissed him, trying not to wake him up, but suddenly he moved on top of her, kissing her neck.

“Good morning doctor Grey.” he said, biting her neck.

“Good morning doctor Riggs.” she said, “can we skip work today?”

“I wish, I have a surgery and tons of paperwork.”

“I had to try.” she smiled.

“But… I have a great idea.”

“What idea?” she asked, kissing his lips.

“We could get back earlier… and do some stuff.” he tucked her hair behind her ear.

“What stuff specifically, doctor Riggs?” she teased him.

“I don’t know… yoga?”

“Hmm… something different maybe?” she smirked.

“We’ll think about it later…now we have…” he got a quick look on the clock, “15 minutes.”

“For what?” she asked, giggling.

“For stuff!” he said, kissing the trace to her breasts.

****

Meredith was bending over the toilet, she had been feeling sick for a week, but she didn’t want to worry anyone. It was the second time she was throwing up that day, she was hoping that it wouldn’t bother her when she was working. She had several things to do and a stomach flu couldn’t stop her. Meredith closed her eyes, trying to calm herself and her stomach, she was thinking about all the “stuff” she and Nathan will do after they came back from work. She was so happy that Amelia and Owen were so nice to them and had taken the kids to their house for a sleepover. Meredith opened her eyes and looked in the mirror in front of her, she stood up and took a few steps toward the sink. She washed her face and looked at herself again. She wouldn’t let that flu ruin her night.

****

Meredith was standing in front of the nurse station, her day had been calm, a bit boring she could say, but it didn’t bother her. She had made all the paperwork, checked her post op patients and she was ready to leave. She felt the weight of someone’s hands around her waist, she was about to turn around and slap the guy who decided to touch her without her permission, when she saw Nathan’s face, smiling at her.

“I could punch you.” she said, writing something in the chart.

“Woo, you’re tiny, but very scary.” he said, kissing her neck from behind.

“Are you off, mister? Can we finally go home?”

“Just one surgery and then I’m free to do some stuff.” he smirked.

“You better! I already waited too long!” she joked.

“I’m lucky you didn’t change me for a better guy.” he hugged her tighter.

“If you don’t hurry up… who knows.” she smiled.

Nathan kissed her neck once again before he released her from his embrace. He stood in front of her for a second and then walked towards her. Nathan put a sweet kiss on her lips and before she knew it, he was already gone.

****

Meredith had been waiting for Nathan from some time, she tried to focus on her work, but instead of that she looked at the room in front of her. Paul, Jo’s husband, was lying on the white bed, needles and tubes had already been removed and he could move a little. Meredith was almost staring at him, thinking how he could be so abusive and aggressive. He looked like a nice, smart guy and no one, not even her, would have presumed that Paul could beat his wife and fiancèe. Meredith stood up and she felt dizzy, she grabbed the chair to make herself stable. When she could stand again, she saw a little light blinking on the nursery station, she sighed at the room number. 202. Meredith started to run towards Jo’s husband, he had problem with breathing when she got there.

“Relax and try to breath in rhythm.” she said, examining him.

“All of this because of those bitches.” he answered, breathing heavily.

“It won’t help you now, so if you don’t mind… shut up.”

Paul’s eyes became brighter, he stopped breathing heavily and he smiled when Meredith was close to his bed. He wasn’t cuffed and there wasn’t anyone near them. Meredith didn’t notice the tiny sharp object in his hand. Suddenly, he stood up, quickly grabbing her hand and twisting it. Meredith cried from the pain, she didn’t hear a crunch, but she felt the stabbing pain in her arm. She tried to get out from his tight embrace, but stopped when she felt the cold metal on her throat. Meredith opened her eyes widely, she swallowed loudly, trying to figure out how to escape. She knew he was weak, the operation went well, but he wasn’t an hundred percent efficient. Meredith turned around trying to hit him as hard as she could, but he grabbed her tighter, causing more pain.

“Do it again bitch and we’ll talk different.” he whispered into her ear.

They were moving towards the door, with the knife still on Meredith’s throat, when they heard a noise. After a second the noise was even louder, Meredith tried to focus and remember who could come there, but she just closed her eyes.

“If you scream… you’re dead.”

*****

Nathan was walking to the east wing, the one he left Meredith in before his surgery, he brought some sandwiches and some water to make a little ‘picnic’, but he couldn’t find anyone. The nurse station was empty, and he couldn’t reach Meredith’s phone. Nathan looked around, the place was abandoned, but he knew that something was wrong there. He was just about to leave, when he heard a little noise, he remembered that the wing wasn’t empty, Paul was laying in room 202. Jo’s abusive husband, who was left there… with Meredith.

*****

They walked out from the room, Paul looked at the counter in front of him, there were something laying on it, but the room became dark and he couldn’t see what it was. He kept pushing Meredith, when suddenly something hit him from behind, he felt dizzy and after a moment he saw a black space in front of him. He pushed Meredith and after a moment passed out. Nathan ran towards his girlfriend, trying to stay calm, but after he reached her, her eyes were closed and he couldn’t wake her up.

“Meredith!” he shouted, swaying her gently in his arms, “please, please wake up!”

Nathan hold her tighter, he didn’t know what had happened, she was fine, that son of a bitch didn’t even hurt her, but Nathan couldn’t remember if Meredith was injured in any other way. He put her into his arms and swayed gently, after a moment he heard some nurses running toward him, Meredith and Paul.

*****

Meredith gently opened her eyes, trying to get used to morning sun. She tried to lift her body, but instead of it she felt some pain in arm and head. Meredith slowly put her head on the pillow and she looked to the left, Nathan was sleeping by her side, holding her hand in his. She pushed the button near her bed and waited for someone to come in. After a moment she saw Jo walking towards her.

“Jo.” Mer whispered, “are you okay?”

“I should ask first.” she gave her a small smile. “I’m so sorry..”

“Sorry for what?”

“Sorry for what happened… If i hadn’t come here….you wouldn’t be laying here…”

“It was HIS fault! Not yours. Remember that.” Meredith said loudly, “why am I here by the way?”

“Uhm…you’re….”

“Oh just spit it out Wilson!” she said, lifting herself on the bed.

“You’re pregnant.”

“I am what?!” Meredith shouted, waking Nathan up.

“She’s what?” he repeated sleepy.

“You two are going to have a baby.”

Meredith and Nathan looked at each other confused, they never spoke about kids, their kids, they had Zola, Bailey and Ellis, that was enough for them, but now that they already knew that they are going to have another one, they were more than happy. Nathan lifted his hand and put it on Meredith flat belly, he caressed it and after a moment she put her hand on his. They looked at each other once again, trying to stop the happy tears.

“I love you Meredith Grey.” he whispered, sitting in front of her, still holding her belly.

“I love you Nathan Riggs.” she whispered back, squeezing his hand.


	39. Father's day

Meredith had been laying on her back, staring at the ceiling, for some time. She woke up early, trying to forget about tomorrow. Father’s day. Every time her kids managed to fight the pain, it came back with double force. She closed her eyes, trying to get rid of all her thoughts from her head when she felt a warm hand around her waist. Meredith smiled to herself and after a moment Nathan’s lips found hers.

“Good morning.” he said, “isn’t it too early to wake up?”

“It is…but…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Father’s day.” she whispered.

“Oh, right.” Nathan pulled her closer to him, “maybe we can just skip it?”

“What do you mean?”

“We can try to spend that time with them at home maybe, we can order pizza and play games.”

“It’s an amazing idea, but I don’t think it will help.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“We just have to survive it, I guess.” she whispered.

****

“Are you ready for some magic?” Nathan asked, looking at the kids.

“Yes!!” they yelled at once.

“Magic pancakes!” he shouted, adding some sweet syrup on the food.

“It will be magic if the syrup won’t be found on their clothes.” she said, kissing Nathan’s cheek.

“You didn’t see our magic capes.” he said, pointing to the kids.

“Those are rainy cotes.” she smiled.

“Yes. If syrup falls… we just wipe it.”

“Brilliant babe.” she said. “we’re already late kids.”

“Will you drive us to school mommy?” Zola asked.

“Yes, but you have to hurry.”

****

Meredith was standing in the traffic with Zola and Bailey after she had left Ellis with Nathan. She was pissed that she didn’t predict that this day would be living hell for her. She didn’t know how her kids would react to tomorrow celebrating and she was worried that they’d start hurt again.

“Mommy,” Zola said, looking through the window.

“Yes, honey.”

“Can we…” she looked at the car mirror. “make something for Nathan?”

“What you want to make for him? A card?”

“No. Dinner.” Zola looked down at her shoes, “for father’s day.”

Meredith looked at both her kids in the back of her car, both of them were looking down, trying to avoid eye contact with her. She took a deep breath and after a few moments she finally spoke.

“First of all, it’s very nice of you that you want to do this for Nathan. He would love that I’m sure, but if you’re doing it for me or to avoid that…”

“We love him. That’s why we want to do it, mommy.” Bailey said, looking at her.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yes. We want to celebrate that day with him, but you think daddy would be mad?” Zola asked.

“I think daddy would be proud of you two,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye.

***

Meredith was sitting in the attending room when the door opened. She lifted her sight and saw Amelia with an empty cup of coffee in her hands. She sat in front of Meredith and after a moment of silence, she finally spoke.

“Do you want me to take kids?”

“Take them where?”

“To the zoo, the cinema or something.”

“No, they’re good.”

“Okay.” Amelia nodded.

“Are you okay?” Mer asked, looking at her sister-in-law.

“It was so long ago and I still miss him.”

“Your dad?”

“Yes. I mean I know I couldn’t do anything, but it’s hard to lose your dad.”

“It’s hard.” Meredith said, “but… Derek would be proud. Proud of you and our kids.”

“You think so?”

“I’m sure!” she smiled.

****

Meredith went to the kitchen to check if kids were okay, it wasn’t anything fancy and nothing that could hurt them. They wanted to make dinner for Nathan and today’s menu included: toast, pancakes, and waffles made by Amelia. She looked at how precise Zola was, she put exactly the same size slice of cheese for every single slice of bread. Meredith remembered what she was at her age, stubborn, lonely and trying to fit in her own family. She shook her head at the memory and looked at her son, trying to flip the pancakes, he was amazing and she thought about every time Nathan made that flip making food for them. She put Ellis in her chair and looked at her children, she was lucky to have them and she was lucky to have Nathan by her side.

After a moment everything was ready, a table was covered with a nice tablecloth, red with golden circles, the food was on it and Zola put some confetti on the table. She wore her favorite dress and Bailey had a nice jacket on. They wanted to look fancy and even Ellis had a nice pink dress. When they were ready, the door opened with a little click. It wasn’t very late, but Nathan thought they would be in bed already, so he didn’t want to wake them up.

He stood there, looking at them, surprised. Nathan couldn’t even imagine celebrating father’s day with Meredith’s kids, he didn’t want to push them and didn’t want to make false hopes for himself. He walked towards the table and sat on the chair, looking at first at Mer and later at the kids.

“We wanted to make you something special, you always cook for us..” Zola started.

“Because mommy doesn’t know how,” Bailey added.

“And we wanted you to feel special because you are special to us.” Zola ended.

“And our daddy won’t be mad because you took care of us, feed us and went to our school performances and it seemed like you liked them.” Bailey smiled.

“We’re not ready yet…” Zola started, when a tear fell on her cheek, “we…”

Nathan stood up and went towards the girl, he knew what she wanted to say and knew how hard it must be for her. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her forehead, she cried a little, but after a moment she calmed a bit and looked at Nathan.

“It’s okay sweetie. I know what you wanted to say and I’m really proud you did all of this for me. We should sit and eat all those yummy things before they get cold.”

Nathan looked at Meredith who was also wiping some tears from her eyes, he couldn’t describe to them how extremely lucky and happy he felt right now. He never imagined to build a family, have kids and celebrate father’s day with them, but since a long time he had finally felt it. Love was all around and he was a part of it.

****

“I have never eaten so many things.” Nathan whispered when they were laying in their bed.

“Me too. I’m so full I’ll blow up in a second.”

“Please don’t! I’ll have to put you together and I’m not ready to leave this bed.” he kissed her neck.

“You were surprised right?”

“Of course.” he said, kissed her lips, “I never imagined myself with kids or family. I always thought I was alone, but I met you and your amazing kids and for the first time in my life I feel like I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“Our kids,” she whispered.

“Our kids,” he repeated.

“Happy father’s day Nathan,” she said, closing her eyes.


	40. Show me love

Meredith was sitting on a chair in attending room with some charts on her lap. A month had passed since she had come back to work after one of her patients had attacked her in hospital room. She told everyone that she was ready to come back, that she was fine, but the truth was she wasn’t so sure about it now. Meredith often worked during night shifts so she could spend more time with her kids in the morning while they were going to school. Those night shifts scared her, every move in dark hallway, every strange noise or potentially dangerous patient made her panic. Meredith tried to fight all those feelings, defeat them somehow, but she had changed inside after what happened to her and there was nothing she could do about it.

Her eyes closed a bit, but even though she tried to sleep all she saw after closing her eyes was herself, laying in the trauma room, she couldn’t say a word. Suddenly the door opened with a slam, Meredith jumped and all the charts landed on the floor.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here.” Nathan said, helping her pick up all the papers.

“It’s okay. I have to go anyway.” she gave him a small smile.

“Meredith… uhm doctor Grey.” he said, looking at her.

“You can call me Meredith.” she smiled again, “what do you need?”

“I wanted to ask if… you have someone… if everything…. are you okay?” he finally asked.

“Uhm, yes of course. I’m just tired. I’ll take a nap and will be good. Thank you for asking.”

“I just want you to know that I have the night shifts too… so if you need company or someone to drink coffee with…. I’m here.”

“Thank you Rig-” she looked into his eyes, “Nathan.”

*****

Meredith was rolling from one side of the bed to the other in one of the on call rooms. She had problems sleeping, every time she remembered what happened only meters from where she was now. When she finally closed her eyes, the panic attacks were increasing. She knew that it could be PTSD, Amelia told her that the symptoms could hit her with double strength when she came back to work, but Meredith tried not to think about it. After a twenty minutes struggle, she finally went to sleep in a dark on call room.

******

Nathan was walking down to one of the on call rooms, he was exhausted after a non scheduled surgery he had to do in the ER. All he wanted was a bed, a blanket and a silent room to rest. It was his third shift, every night was worse than the previous one and all he was dreaming about was coming back to normal shifts. He also missed the sunlight and the warmth on his face when he came back from morning shifts. Suddenly he heard a loud scream, he looked around, but that part of the hospital wasn’t that crowded, he stood there for a minute to track the source of the noise. After a moment he heard that again, a loud scream coming from the on call room, he ran as fast as he could, trying to figure what could happen there. The door opened loudly as he pushed it with all the strength he had. Nathan saw her, laying on the bed, trying to catch some air. Her eyes were still closed with grimaces of pain written on her face. He knelled next to her and gently shook her wispy body.

“Meredith,” he said a little louder, “Meredith wake up!”

Meredith’s eyes opened wildly, she was sweaty and her muscles stayed tense. She had dream about it once again, the pain, the feelings, it had all come back to her like a wave. She tried to control her breathing, it was heavy and sometimes she thought that the air didn’t fill her lungs at all. Meredith looked at Nathan, he was as terrified as her, but still hold her in his arms.

“I’m sorry.” she said, “it was… I had a bad dream.”

“You sure? It doesn’t sound like it.”

“It was! You can let go.” she looked at his hands on her.

“I think it was more than a dream, Meredith. I can notice PTSD symptoms” he started, “I think…”

“I don’t care what you think… thank you for waking me up. Now if you don’t mind, I’ll go take care of my patients.”

Meredith left the room, but after a moment she stood on the hallway with shaking hands, she was sweating and her whole body was tensed. She didn’t know why she had treated him like that, Nathan just wanted to help, but her instincts just made her to do that. She wasn’t herself, she knew that, but she didn’t want anyone to see that she was weak. Meredith got back to memories of her mom, the strong Ellis Grey, the best surgeon. She always wanted to be like her, even when she told everybody it was not her goal, the point was that she wasn’t Ellis Grey, she was Meredith… terrified and weak.

*****

After a four hour surgery Meredith was thinking about running home to her children. Her patient died and there wasn’t anything she could do to prevent it. Her neck was sore, her legs were killing her and what’s worse, she had do inform the family about the loss. Meredith took off her scrub cap and coat, she left them in the bin and after that she took a few steps towards her patient’s family. Her face told them everything before she opened her mouth.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” she started.

“NO!” one of the men shouted at her. “YOU’RE HIS DOCTOR!”

“Please, calm down.” Meredith said, trying not to be afraid.

“HOW! You killed my brother!”

“His injuries..” she tried to explain.

The man took a step towards her, his face was near hers, Meredith looked into his eyes as she tried to focus on what he was saying, but her knees had became weak and she couldn’t breathe. She was so afraid that she didn’t notice Nathan approaching them, he came between her and her patient’s brother, facing him.

“Hey mate! If you shout at her one more time I’ll drag your ass outside.” Nathan said with rage.

Meredith stood behind him and after a moment she lifted her hand, she put it into his, squeezing it a bit. She pulled him, so he wouldn’t hit the guy right into his face, Meredith really didn’t want to be a cause of his trouble. She looked at him as he reacted to her touch. Nathan took a step back and went after Meredith.

“Are you okay?” he asked, touching her cheek.

“Yes, thanks to you.” she said with a little smile.

Their sight met and both of them shivered, Meredith was leaning on the wall as Nathan’s hands touched the space behind her head. She looked straight into his icy blue eyes, biting her lower lip and trying to understand what was happening between them. After a moment her lips brushed his, he touched her waist, pulling her a bit closer to his strong body, she opened her mouth a bit so his tongue could enter it, his wet, hot tongue swirled over hers. Meredith moaned grabbing his strong arms, she opened her eyes for a moment, he was so focused on what he was doing that he didn’t notice it. His face was relaxed and Meredith could see a bit of a smile showing on his face. The kiss made them feel different, they stood apart after both of them needed some air, their blushing faces were smiling to each other.

“Uhm… it was…” Nathan started, scratching his head.

“Yeah, it was.” Meredith smiled, biting her lips.

“Are you going home ?” Nathan asked.

“Yes, in fact I should go now.”

“Uhm… would you like me to… walk you to the car?”

“I would love that.” Meredith said, looking into his eyes.


End file.
